Until You (Off-Limits, #1)

by Catharina Maura

“I knew you were falling for her long before you did, buddy. Nyx? Aria has had an illustration of the goddess Nyx in her room for years. She uses that as her username on all her gaming platforms. I knew from the second you told me about her. I knew you were falling for her, and I knew you’d be done for if Aria started working with you.”

“What I want to know is how you feel, Aria.” “I… I’m in love with him, Noah. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did.”

“Are you in love with him or are you on the rebound?” Gray tenses next to me, and I glare at my brother. “I love him, Noah. Th...

“Very well,” he says. “It’s a...

“Ari,” he says. “You’ve looked up to Grayson for years. I’m pretty sure you’ve had a crush on him your entire adult life. You might not have been able to see it, but I did. When Gray was around, you turned into the little sister of my memories, the girl I thought I’d lost. The way you smile a...

He nods at Gray. “And you weren’t much better. Aria is the only other person you really talk to, the only person you’re patient with. She always has been. The way you look at her? It’s like my little sister hung the damn moon. Don’t think I don’t know you went to beat Brad up after talking me out of it. The protectiveness you’ve always felt toward her… it wasn’t brotherly. It never has been. I never minded it, though. Not if it’s you. Yo...

“Look at you,” I murmur, tightening my grip on her hair. “Didn’t even let me undress fully before latching onto my cock, did you?”

“I’m going to fuck you like that for the rest of our lives,” I tell her, my hands threading through her hair. Aria laughs. “Is that a promise?” I grin and press a kiss to her neck. “It’s a vow, baby.”

I read through the logs over and over again, but the report doesn’t change. The rape didn’t just result in lifelong trauma… it also resulted in a child. A child that she claims was left in a church.

“My father took my son from me days after birth, and he refused to tell me where my child went. It wasn’t until he was on his deathbed that he told me. He said he took the baby to the same church George and I met at, the church that resulted in my downfall.”

Help me find my baby.

“I love you, Aria,” I tell her, wishing the words were adequate to explain how I feel about her. “You are the missing part. You are what completes me. My life was empty, until you.”

“I’ll never get enough of you,” I whisper.

“I love you,” I whisper. “I don’t know what happened, Grayson. I don’t know how she responded or what she might have said, but I love you. I love you with all my heart. You’re more than just my boyfriend, Gray. You’re my family.”

“I love you, Aria. I don’t deserve you, but fuck… I love you. I love you so much.”

“What do you see when you look at me, Aria? Do you see the son of a rapist? Tell me honestly, baby. Do you think I’d ever hurt you? I need to know.”

“What?” I cup his cheeks with both hands, keeping his eyes on mine. “Don’t you ever even think that kind of bullshit, Grayson. Don’t. I don’t see you that way. I never have, and I never will. You’re still the same man I fell in love with. You’re still Noah’s best friend. You’re the person who helped make my dreams come true, the man that inspired me to keep going when life was too much to bear. You’re the person who helped solve hundreds of cases, never even asking for recognition for all you do. That is who you are, Grayson. That is who you’ve always been.”

“My home is wherever you are, Grayson. Since you weren’t at the apartment, I came here.”

“You should go,” I whisper, willing myself to say the words. Aria looks back at me and grins. “Funny how you think you can tell me what to do. I’ve never been very good at listening to instructions… you’d think you’d know that by now.”

“You want to know whether I want you, Aria? Tell me, how does all that desire taste? Look at you, on your knees for me… you’re such a fucking good girl, aren’t you? Sucking me off like that.”

“Tell me to stay, Grayson,” I whisper. “Tell me you don’t want me to go. Tell me we can get past this, that you’ll talk to me. Tell me we can work this out.”

“It’s been weeks since we last really talked. You’re killing me, Gray. You’ve got me wondering whether it’s just me, whether you just fell out of love with me, whether you just don’t want me anymore. And you know what, if that’s the case, just tell me. Tell me… don’t push me away like you have. Don’t make me feel unwelcome, like I’m intruding in your home.”

He looks into my eyes, and it kills me to find nothing there. There’s no love, no affection, no intimacy. “Are you coming back? You signed a contract.”

“Yeah, unless you don’t want me to. I love my job, Gray… but if you don’t want me to come back, I won’t.”

“No, you should keep your job. You’re good at what you do, Aria. It’d be a loss for the company if you left.”

Maybe that’s all I was to him. I was accessible and easy.

We were over before we ever really began. Grayson and I… we’re two damaged souls that sought salvation in each other, our quest ending in mutual destruction instead.

I brought devastation to him through my platform and his mother’s case, while he… he destroyed me by making me believe in love when I should have known better.

But here’s the thing about that… just because he’s the love of my life doesn’t mean I’m his.

The woman I spoke to would have burned down the world for you, Grayson. There’s no way leaving would have made her happier than being with you.”

“Don’t get on that plane. I’m begging you, Aria. I’m begging you to stay. I’m on my way to the airport right now,” he says, glancing at his watch. “I know you’ll start boarding within the next ten minutes, but I beg of you, don’t get on that plane.”

“Aria, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and letting you go was the worst thing I ever could have done. It’s only been a few hours, and I can truthfully tell you that these are the single worst hours of my life. I thought I was doing what’s best for both of us, but I was wrong. I was so wrong, baby. My fear of hurting you blinded me to the pain I put you through, Ari.”

“I love you,” he says. “I love your smile, your wicked intellect, your heart. I know I don’t deserve you, Aria… but I’ll spend every waking moment for the rest of my life working on being a better man. That still might not be enough, but Aria, I swear, if you give me a chance, I’ll never stop trying. I’ll never stop doing whatever I can to make you happy, to make you smile.”

know I’ve hurt you. I know you think I don’t care, and that I didn’t notice you in the last couple of weeks.

“I’m desperate, clearly, because at this point, I don’t even care about the world knowing how obsessed I am with you. I’m so fucking in love with you. Even when my fears were at their height, and I was convinced you’d leave me, I wanted to capture these moments to cherish for the rest of my life. But you know what, Aria? The memories aren’t enough. I need you. I love you so much that life has no meaning without you, and I know you love me, too. I know it, Aria. I know you do, and that’s enough. So long as you love me, we’ll make this work. I’ll do anything to have one more chance. I know I’ve hurt you, but I’ll spend the rest of our lives earning your forgiveness.”

“Aria,” he murmurs, pausing in front of me. He grabs my hands and holds them tightly. He sinks down to his knees and looks up at me. “I’m begging you. Please stay. I’m not asking you for your forgiveness. All I’m asking for is a chance to earn it.”

“I missed you,”

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” I whisper. She looks so vulnerable, so hurt. “I’m wondering if you want me, Gray. You chased me down at the airport and asked me to stay, but I’m having a hard time believing what you said. I don’t want to be led on again. If there’s something you want from me, please just tell me. There’s nothing I won’t do for you, so please don’t use me. Don’t think you need to be in a relationship with me to avoid letting Noah down.”

“All I can think about is wanting you naked, my dick buried deep inside you. I’m scared I want you too much, the way I did when you wrapped those beautiful lips around my cock. I want to fuck away every crazy thought going around in your head, but I’m scared I’ll be too rough with you. That’s all it is. My biggest fear is hurting you. You make me lose control, Aria, and I don’t ever want to see you in pain. But at the same time, I’m a selfish bastard, and though I tried, I just can’t let you walk away — not even when I know there’s every chance I’ll end up hurting you.”

“But baby,” she whispers. “I like it rough.”

“Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Grant,” I say, my heart racing. “I’ve never had the honor to meet you, but it feels like I have, because that’s how well your children keep your memory alive.”

“I’m here today to thank you for bringing into this world the two people I love most. Noah has been my best friend for well over a decade, and Aria… well, your daughter… she’s the love of my life. She’s beautiful, astonishingly intelligent, humble, and she has a heart of gold. I can’t tell you what she sees in me, because I ask myself that question every single day. I’m well aware that I don’t deserve her, but for whatever crazy reason, she’s chosen to be with me. When times got tough and I wasn’t sure I’d make it through, she stuck with me. She is, quite honestly, the best thing that ever happened to me. And I know… I know I’m not good enough, but I’m working on being better.”

“I guess what I’m saying is that I’m here to ask for your blessing. I love your daughter beyond reason, beyond measure. I always will. I didn’t know feelings this pure existed until her. All I want to do for the rest of my life is show her how amazing she is. Every day, for as long as I live, I’ll do everything within my power to make her happy. I’ll cherish her and never stop appreciating all the little things she does. I’ll support her dreams and I’ll always be there to catch her when she falls. I’ll be everything she needs me to be, for as long as she’ll have me. Hopefully, that’ll be for the rest of our lives. So here I am… asking you for your daughter’s hand in marriage. I want nothing more than to make her my wife.”

“Mom, Dad,” he says. “Grayson is the best person I know. I can’t think of a better man for Aria, and I know you’d have loved him if you were still around. Hell, you’d probably have loved him more than you love me. He’s just that type of guy. I truly wouldn’t want anyone else as my brother-in-law. I know you’d approve of him, so I’m giving him your blessing on your behalf.”

“I see the way you treat my sister, Grayson. I see how you look at her. You think you don’t deserve her, but you do. You two are perfectly suited for each other, and I’m happy you found each other. The two of you were always meant to be. I could see it long before you did.”

“Here, you take these. I was just about to throw them out,” she explains, tipping her head toward the small flower shop behind her. “You look like you have a lady that’d love them, so you have them.”

“White tulips,” he whispers, his voice barely above a whisper. His eyes meet mine, and his expression has me tensing. “They’re my mother’s favorite. My father always used to buy them for her.”

I’m not a superstitious man, but this feels a lot like a sign. Noah smiles at me and then looks up at the sky, the emotion in his eyes matching what I’m feeling.

“Let’s go,” I say. “I can’t wait another second to ask your sister to be my wife.”

Ash Nyx, Aria, baby… I will always love you.