How to Live: 27 conflicting answers and one weird conclusion

by Derek Sivers

You make it the best through your commitment to it. Your dedication and actions make any choice great.

Trust helps your happiness more than income or health.

Rockets use most of their fuel in the first minute of flight, to escape the pull of gravity. Once they get outside that pull, it’s effortless. Same with your habits.

Marry someone full of kindness who is committed to putting you in the center of their life. Marry someone you don’t want to change, who doesn’t want to change you. Someone that doesn’t punish you for mistakes. Someone who sees you as your highest potential. Commit completely.

When ordering in a restaurant, ask them to surprise you.

The crisis — the most painful moment — defines the hero.

Since you can’t avoid problems, just find good problems.

Places that resist change have no vision, only memories.

Avoid religion because faith is not meant to be questioned.

Let the test of time filter everything. Value only what has endured.

The best way to be connected is to help others be connected.

Confidence attracts. Vulnerability endears.

The best marketing is being considerate. The best sales approach is listening.

Love is a combination of attention, appreciation, and empathy.

To love something, first you have to connect with it. Give it your full attention. Deliberately appreciate it.

You can do an activity absent-mindedly, or pay full attention to every detail of it.

Beware of the feeling that someone completes you or will save you. You have wounds in your past. You have needs that were ignored. You seek someone to fill these gaps — someone that has traits you crave. But nobody will save you.

Notice how you feel around people. Notice who brings out the best in you. Notice who makes you feel more connected with yourself — more open and more honest.

Once you’re in a relationship, avoid harming it. It’s easy to love someone’s best qualities, but it’s work to love their flaws. Don’t try to change someone, or teach them a lesson, unless they ask you to.

You can improve something bad. You can’t improve nothing.

Don’t just express yourself. Discover yourself.

Don’t try to be more right. Just be less wrong.

Your opposing needs become each other’s remedy.