How to Live: 27 conflicting answers and one weird conclusion

by Derek Sivers

Being independent means you can’t blame others. Decide everything is your fault. Whoever you blame has power over you, so blame only yourself. When you blame your location, culture, race, or history, you’re abdicating your autonomy.

You can’t be free without self-mastery.

If it’s not important, never do it. If it’s important, do it every day.

Most of being a good person is not doing bad.

The English word “noise” comes from “nausea”.

People will appreciate your silence, and know that when you speak, it must be important. Shallow rivers are noisy. Deep lakes are silent.

When a problem is bothering you, it feels like you need to do something about it. Instead, identify what belief is really the source of your trouble. Replace that belief with one that doesn’t bother you. Then the problem is solved. Most problems are really just situations.

In Icelandic, the word for “idiot” means “one who has never left home to journey abroad”.

When you’re young, time goes slowly because everything is new. When you get older, time flies by, forgotten, because you’re not having as many new experiences.

Mastery is the best goal because the rich can’t buy it, the impatient can’t rush it, the privileged can’t inherit it, and nobody can steal it. You can only earn it through hard work. Mastery is the ultimate status.

Mastery is not about doing many things. It’s doing one thing insanely well.

The goal of life is not comfort. Pursuing comfort is both pathetic and bad for you. Comfort makes you weak and unprepared. If you overprotect yourself from pain, then every little challenge will feel unbearably difficult.

But don’t be a masochist. Be a scholar of pain. Every pain has a lesson inside, and a reason why it hurts. Analyze it. Understand it.

Marco Polo wasn’t the first European to reach China, but he was the first to write a book about it.

Master the fundamentals, not new tricks. Learn the timeless aspects of your craft. This knowledge will never lose its value. In any given field, learn the oldest thing still around, since it’s the one most likely to last.

Define a good life as more than shallow pleasure. A good life is contribution. A good life is resisting temptation. A good life is being the best you can be. A good life is diligently following your book.

Luxury is the enemy of happiness because you adapt to its comforts. Luxury makes you soft, weak, and harder to satisfy. (Pity people who can’t enjoy anything less than the best.) Never accept luxury, or you’ll find it hard to do without because it will feel like loss.

Never say, “Not my problem.” We’re all in this together. What’s good for your community is good for you. Whatever affects others affects you. The quality of your life is tied to the quality of your community, neighborhood, and country. You can’t be healthy in a sick society.

The most valuable real estate in the world is the graveyard. There lie millions of half-written books, ideas never launched, and talents never developed. Most people die with everything still inside of them.

Every plane crash makes the next one less likely.

Genghis Khan killed 11% of the world’s population, but he’s seen as having a net-positive influence on the world in the long run.