How to Live: 27 conflicting answers and one weird conclusion

by Derek Sivers

The only way to be deeply happy is to break all dependencies.

Stay unlabeled and unbound.

The only opinion that matters is your own.

Never agree with anything the same day you hear it, because some ideas are persuasively hypnotic.

Decide everything is your fault.

Whoever you blame has power over you, so blame only yourself.

To avoid emotional dependence, never have just one.

Assume nobody will help you.

Move symbolically far away from where you grew up.

The best place for self-reliance is a rural off-the-grid home.

Make friends wherever you go, so that no one place has all of your friends.

Your dedication and actions make any choice great.

When a decision is irreversible, you feel better about it.

There’s little incentive for businesses to give good

You’re defined by what you do repeatedly. Your habits create your character.

Commit to your habits to make them rituals. If it’s not important, never do it. If it’s important, do it every day.

Marry someone you don’t want to change, who doesn’t want to change you.

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love is harder. Enthusiasm is common. Endurance is rare.

There’s no deeper happiness than wanting nothing. Desire is the opposite of peace.

People will appreciate your silence, and know that when you speak, it must be important. Shallow rivers are noisy. Deep lakes are silent.

Dramatic people are fueled by reactions. When you stop reacting, they go away.

Observe yourself. Your own mind is the best laboratory. It’s also the most private and peaceful place to work.

When people give opinions, add a question mark.

The unintelligent jump to conclusions. The wise just observe. Wisdom comes from removing the junk, lies, and obstacles to clear thinking.

The less you do, the more you can see. Observe and learn. Watch the world.

Live where nothing is happening. Move to a quiet place with lots of nature and no ambition. Doing nothing is normal there. Walk and appreciate nature for hours a day.

Doing nothing is the ultimate minimalism.

If an action feels necessary, and you can’t let it go, just write it down for later.

The biggest challenge is to think long-term when life is pulling you around.

Delay gratification. Today’s discomfort brings future rewards.

The earlier you start, the better, since time is the multiplier.

Many huge achievements are just the result of little actions done persistently over time.

We overestimate what we can do in one year. We underestimate what we can do in ten years.

When you choose a behavior, you choose its future consequences.

Move to a place with good values that’s headed in the right direction.

Climate change might make everything between 40° and -40° latitude quite unlivable,

Use the compounding amplifier of time. Thinking super-long-term is how to live.

Once a place really feels like home, move somewhere new. Pick a confusing or scary place that you don’t understand.

Monotony is the enemy. Novelty is the solution.

Go make memories. Do memorable things. Experience the unusual. Pursue novelty. Replace your routines. Live in different places.

Journal every day. Write down your activities, thoughts, and feelings for future reference.

Nostalgia is memories minus the pain.

telling good stories, your memories can last longer, because people will echo them back to you occasionally, or ask you to tell them again.

Your memories are a mix of fact and fiction. Your story about an experience overwrites your memory of the actual experience. So use this in your favor. Re-write your past. Embellish adventures.

In a good mood, you might see the bright side of trauma.

The more something means to you, the more you’ll remember it. Give moments meaning to remember them.

When you make a big mistake and want to learn its lesson, deliberately amplify the pain, the deep regret, and the consequences. Keep the bad feelings vivid and visceral. Make the lesson memorable, so you won’t do it again.

Making memories is the most important thing you can do with your life. The more memories you create, the longer and richer your life feels. Making memories is how to live.

Mastery is the ultimate status.

pursuit of mastery helps you think long-term.