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I want to love Lo without people telling me that our love is too much.
Will he fit into my life if I’m struggling with my addiction while he’s healthy and absolved from his?
Our I love yous encompass years of heartache, of hurt, of laughter and pain. And every time we say the words, I feel the rush of our childhood. I couldn’t imagine ever losing that.
I think we’re all old enough to feel the scars of our upbringing. Now we just have to find a way to heal.
“You’re right,” he says softly. “You don’t need a man, Rose.” He pauses and I barely hear him whisper, “But you do need me.”
Each day feels like an obstacle. And a victory.
“Giving something up isn’t the same thing as losing control. It’s the opposite, Lily. You’re taking back control.”
“I’m remarrying you, Lil. Fuck, I’d remarry you a hundred times until it stuck.” I pinch my eyes again. “Yeah?” “Yeah.” “Even if I make you miserable?” There’s a long pause before he murmurs, “You don’t make me miserable. You make me want to live. And I want to live with you.”
“No, Lil,” he tells me with a short laugh. “You’re the opposite. You’re my stability…my home.”
“I love you,” he says again, “and no other man will ever say those words and mean them the way I do.”