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I want to love Lo without people telling me that our love is too much.
We say the words all the time, but the power has not been lost. They mean more to me than he’ll know. Because at the end of the day, this type of love is different than a first-sight encounter with a man at a bar, a crush in prep school or a bubbling, new romance. Our I love yous encompass years of heartache, of hurt, of laughter and pain. And every time we say the words, I feel the rush of our childhood. I couldn’t imagine ever losing that.
I think we’re all old enough to feel the scars of our upbringing. Now we just have to find a way to heal.
“Giving something up isn’t the same thing as losing control. It’s the opposite, Lily. You’re taking back control.”
“I’m remarrying you, Lil. Fuck, I’d remarry you a hundred times until it stuck.” I pinch my eyes again. “Yeah?” “Yeah.” “Even if I make you miserable?” There’s a long pause before he murmurs, “You don’t make me miserable. You make me want to live. And I want to live with you.”
“You’re the opposite. You’re my stability…my home.”
“I love you,” he says again, “and no other man will ever say those words and mean them the way I do.”
Pain, happiness, joy and hurt ricochet from each path taken and from each memory uncovered.