Built to Fall

by Julia Wolf

“I’m holding out hope for you to accept that you can have good in this life. You can laugh without feeling guilty. You’re allowed to stop tying yourself to the whipping post every damn day. Right now, I see a man half-alive, and frankly, you’re doing a disservice to Dylan.”

I can’t stand watching you destroy every possibility of having something good. You miss him. He should be alive, and it isn’t fair that he’s not. All of that is true, and it will never be untrue. I might not have known Dylan, but I know you. You screwed up, and so did Chelsea, but you were there. You loved that boy, despite life, despite everything thrown your way. You loved him completely. And now, it’s time to find a way for you to keep living.”

I’m tired, Mar. Tired of being angry. Tired of working so hard at being a miserable fuck. I’ve let myself fade into this ghost of a person, and now…” I shook my head, “I just know I’m no good for Claire or anyone like this.”

“I wouldn’t have come tonight if I didn’t have every intention of having you back. You asked for space, and I gave it to you. But make no mistake, I never once stopped thinking about you.”

“To be honest, I wasn’t planning on saying that. It’s just…you’re standing here, taking my breath away all over again. You look beautiful tonight. Just beautiful.”

“You’re here and kissing me and telling me you have every intention of having me back and making me a pie and that’s adorable and sweet and I really, really love it, but I’m not sure I’m done being mad at you. Tell me what’s changed between then and now. I need words.”

“I’m in love with you. I’ve weighed the risks, and loving you is worth it.”

Nothing’s been the same since I let you in, and I never want to go back to the empty shell I was. The way I love you is so fucking real, Claire. And I intend to love you like hell for the rest of my life. Even if you send me away right now, I’ll love you.”

I only need you, to be here, to love me aggressively.” He sniffed, bemused. “Aggressively?” “Mmmhmmm. Love me out loud, so I never question it. No lukewarm. No half measures. I’ll do the same back.”