Built to Fall

by Julia Wolf

And what a fucking sight. Her throaty laugh sounded like the devil’s church bells calling all the sinners to service. The firelight danced over her cheeks, and when she opened her eyes, they caught the flames like stained glass in the sun.

“Being hurt by the man who’s supposed to love you doesn’t mean you’re not a strong woman. It means the man is weak.”

You opened me in every way. I can’t remember very many times I’ve been as vulnerable as I was stripped and raw in front of that mirror. But with you, I felt safe to lean into my vulnerability and explore the raw parts of me. And I think...I think once this is over, I won’t go back inside my shell ever again. That’s what I meant by being opened up.”

I should never desire to be invisible.

It was the unknown endings I wouldn’t stick around for. Because nothing lasted forever, no matter how much I wished it wasn’t true. I’d done my share of hoping for forever, and those days were done for me.

“If I have the choice between stewing in my own thoughts and spending every waking second with you, it’s going to be you every single time.”

“My point is you’re incapable of closing your heart, even when you want to. You aren’t made that way. You, baby girl, were built to fall. It’s just who you are.”

And I did tell Marta not to talk about you, because when I hear you’re not doing well, it makes me want to drop everything to make it all better for you. But I won’t do that because right now, I need to make it all better for me.”

Love me out loud, so I never question it. No lukewarm. No half measures. I’ll do the same back.”