Excuse Me While I Disappear: Tales of Midlife Mayhem

by Laurie Notaro

I’m not going to dress my age; I’m going to dress as me.

So if you like Chico’s clothes, wear Chico’s clothes. If you’ve always shopped at Anthropologie, shop at Anthropologie. We are not MAWs in any other decade but this one, and if Mick Jagger can still be siring offspring into his seventies, I can wear my scuffed cowboy boots well into mine.

Young people see old people and believe that they were born that way. They don’t know that the shrunken, hunchbacked woman at Safeway who asks for their help to reach a can of peaches was once a raging beauty who could outrun any boy. That the bald, freckled head of an elderly gentleman was once full and thick with reflective hair that was indistinguishable from the heads of the thousands of other young men who marched alongside him to war or crowded onto commuter trains with him.