Excuse Me While I Disappear: Tales of Midlife Mayhem

by Laurie Notaro

There’s only so much stretch and pull one little muscle can take before it needs to take a nap, and a sneaker fart gets through.

“The surprise farts are some bullshit, I tell you what. I leaned over at my therapy appointment last week and blasted a duck quack out of my ass that I had no idea was sitting there ready to go.”—

“Your ankles are swollen from carrying the weight of the patriarchy all of these years.”—

“I used to be Catholic before I learned about science,”

The brilliance of growing older is that with each passing day, you lose an equivalent amount of fear.

Sometimes it takes an invisible woman to get something done.