Between Despair and Hope (The Divine Between, #2)

by Jess Wisecup

you aren’t only a mother. Your identity isn’t your daughter. It isn’t your dead sister. Hell, your identity isn’t the Beloved either. You are a woman who did her best in an impossible situation, and just because you stole some happiness for yourself does not mean you are a bad mother.”

“Elora, please wake up. It’s me. Please wake up and yell at me. I deserve it. I deserve your hatred. I deserve everything you want to throw at me. Just wake up. Just wake up and hate me. You can kill me if you want to; I won’t even move. I’ll hand you the knife.”

“I think I could have truly loved you, min viltasma. If only we’d had the time.”

“It is not impossible, I suppose, but highly unlikely you would have found yourself with child.”

Ven hovered over me, lowering herself slowly, as she gripped my wrists. After a few moments when she still hadn’t taken me fully, I used my hold on her hips to pull her down as I pushed up at the same time “Shit, shit,” she gasped. “Divine hell, D, you’re too big this way.” “You can do it, princess,” I teased. She resisted, so I moved my hands up her back and shoulders, rubbing soothing circles with my thumbs. Mairin made eye contact with me over Ven’s shoulder before her eyes moved in a slow caress down Ven’s form, lingering where our flesh met. She surged forward, and the merrow’s hand found its way to Ven’s clit. I could feel her rubbing circles on that sensitive spot, and Ven relaxed incrementally. The bond vibrated, almost pushing me to finish just from being inside her. I was tempted to thrust hard a few times to be done with it, to let them explore without me, but I could tell the bond needed more from us. Ven leaned back, head against my shoulder, as she relaxed even further. “Almost, beautiful,” Mairin whispered, leaning forward to kiss her. “Just a little bit more.” Placing two hands on her shoulders, Mairin pushed down as Ven gasped, and she finally took all of me. “That’s it,” I whispered in her ear. “Told you you could do it.”

her brow crinkle, somehow a perfect mixture of Emma and Rainier. Gods, they were lucky.

It makes sense though, since you’re twin flames and all. The moment you stopped being an idiot, he had to fill the void.”

“I have the mark,” he said. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” “Of the Accursed. I’ve always had it.”

“Not quite. Rhia is the only blessing I still lack. But I have the mark—death’s kiss.”

I cursed my past self, eager for those days of clinging to skirts to end and ready for Elora to gain some independence. I’d have given anything to go back to those days. It was simpler then.

I haven’t been able to emotionally tie myself to someone like that ever since. Rainier knew you were gone, married, had no fucking hopes of ever seeing you again. And you came back, and he suddenly had this life, this whole gods damned family, that he’d only ever dreamed of. If he can get that—fuck, is it wrong to think I might deserve something more too? Not to have her back—I know that’s impossible, and I’m not delusional, but being in love might be…Hell, even if she were terrible, a fraction of the joy you two have would be nice.”

“I’m going to let the bond with Ven break.”

No, that wasn’t right. She wasn’t here. That wasn’t Emma.

“Don’t play with your food!”

Declan, no. I hadn’t met him yet, and I’d been hoping to avoid it. His blond hair was littered with wayward strands of silver. With eyes the same color as his brother,

min viltasma.”

Hanwen’s taint.

tuna the size of a pony in his powerful jaws.

the impending collision of two people I loved more than I loved myself was commanding every ounce of my attention.

“No,” she huffed. “Fine, you’re right. You’re always right, aren’t you, Mama?” “No, honey.” I frowned. “I wasn’t, and I’m not. I would have done so many things in my life differently if I could go back and do them over again.”

She was a bit thinner in the face and hips, more noticeable when she wasn’t bundled up in layers. I didn’t like it at all, knowing the cause of it was stress and malnutrition.

When he stared at me blankly, not understanding my meaning, I sighed. Men.

though Faxon tainted many of them, we had made some wonderful memories there. I wanted to say goodbye.

“I will shoulder your burdens and swallow your secrets.”

“Mairin is the last daughter of the Seaborn Queen.”

“At some point though, whether or not we need it, I wouldn’t mind either of us being tied to the bed.”

“Everything, when I don’t know if you’ll be able to give it.” She crossed her arms, turning away.

“This is about Papa and how horrible he is. Was. Not about the mistakes you made. You keep doing that. You keep making it about how you messed up. It’s not all about you.”

“That’s normal, Elora. You miss what you thought he was. I—He had moments of kindness with me. I won’t say I miss him, but I mourn the good parts of him. And it’s alright to feel that way. It doesn’t make what he did any less terrible.”

know how sorry he is, and I know you are soft-hearted behind all of that sass and justified anger.”

“You don’t have to kiss me every time you leave, you know.” “Oh, but I disagree.”

I fell in love with her while showing her the stars, and I’ll love her until the last one falls from the sky.”

Fretfully and frightfully yours, Cy

“I have nothing to discuss that we haven’t discussed already. If I am to be your wife in name only, it is quite unfair for you to give me any sort of hope for something more.”

I missed him more in these last few weeks than I did all of our years apart.

I didn’t want to die. I just didn’t want to live.

Ruminations on Marital Bliss.

“There hasn’t been a gods damn moment since I’ve met you when you haven’t been too much. You eclipse the fucking sun, Em. I ought to be used to it by now. You’ve been so brave. You saved our daughter, you saved me—gods, what can’t you do?”

“Don’t keep me from what belongs to me. Spread your legs, and show me that pretty cunt.”

I hoped one day, that trust would be second-nature, that we wouldn’t have to try for it, but I’d work every day to have it with him.

I hadn’t wanted thanks or needed it. I’d craved no sort of recognition for anything. But the unceremonious way in which he dumped the bond had hurt my feelings. It reminded me of how little they thought of me during those years.

The villain. The enemy. My murderer, friend, and savior—all in one.

I was lonely, even though I was surrounded by people every day.

If I am the moon, then you are the sun, fireshine. You shine your light upon me and brighten all which is cold and dark within me. You have taught me to forgive is divine and even I, a loathsome creature, am deserving of it. I spend every moment wishing for more with you. More quiet, more talking, more kissing. Just more. If you never wish to look upon me again, Alina, I understand. But know, I am ruined for having loved you.

“It’s not your home anymore. Places we used to call ours never feel quite the same once we’ve left.”

Rain kept his own breeches on, but a few minutes later, he was following behind me into my father’s suite wearing Mister Carson’s jacket.

It was the first time I wasn’t upset over the fact he loved Lucia and my mother more, instead wishing he had anyone left who cared for him as they had.

“Our past has framed us and made us better. It was hell, but now we’re here.”

“The father I knew died with Lucia, and I never got a chance to know this new one. It’s strange to mourn now when I’ve been mourning him all along. And now I get to see glimpses of the old him. It’s bullshit.”

an ache pulsed deep in my chest. This was how it should have always been. How could I simultaneously be so heartsick over all we’d missed, and so appreciative for what we had now? I’d been grateful and so happy they had a chance.