Between Despair and Hope (The Divine Between, #2)

by Jess Wisecup

She had been dead, and I brought her back. But was this living?

“Emma, we will figure something out. You both are such self-sacrificing fucks. Gods, this is the twin flame thing, isn’t it? You’re both doomed to the same sort of stupidity.”

“I will go if you can’t come up with a better solution, but I’m only going to give you a week to find it.”

Who better to accompany a girl who couldn’t wake than a boy who dallied in dreams?

“I have known King Rainier for many years. I did not know your name but I knew you. He did not fall in love with you again. Always, that man has loved you.”

you aren’t only a mother. Your identity isn’t your daughter. It isn’t your dead sister. Hell, your identity isn’t the Beloved either. You are a woman who did her best in an impossible situation, and just because you stole some happiness for yourself does not mean you are a bad mother.”

“I think it would be lucky if more mothers were like you.”

“I think I could have truly loved you, min viltasma. If only we’d had the time.”

That was when I felt it. The bond.

“Listen, I am not a smart man. If I could shove my foot any deeper into my mouth, it’d shoot out my ass.”

“I can’t lose him. I can’t. He is everything to me, Dewalt.” Her voice cracked. “We both made so many mistakes. I wasted what little time I had with him being a stubborn fool.”

It makes sense though, since you’re twin flames and all. The moment you stopped being an idiot, he had to fill the void.”

“Come, Rainy day. Play a game with me. Maybe you won’t be so sad after.”

I’d never felt more guilty or questioned my abilities as a mother more than I had in the last few weeks. I was a child myself when I had her, but I was so tormented by what happened to Lucia, I didn’t think. I hid her to keep her safe.

A freezing wind swept over us, and in my attempt to shield us from the brunt of it, I realized. I froze, not needing the merrow to confirm. “The bond has broken.” The words were a curse on my lips.

“You’ve always known how to make your brother shine. Now it’s your turn. You can do it.” The grey at his temples had spread considerably in the past year, and I watched the corners of his eyes crinkle as he gave me a tight smile. “I’m only the spare,” I said, surprising myself by speaking the words aloud. “I don’t think you’re only anything, Your Highness.”

“I am no less of a failure than you are. Maybe you’ll succeed with the approach I’ve been too afraid to take.”

I loved Rain desperately, but a small part of me couldn’t help but resent him for making this my reality.

Even though he’d acted in my best interests, it hurt that this was happening because he thought I was incapable.

“You’re a good friend, D. I haven’t said it enough.” “Don’t start.” “Don’t start what? I mean it. You’ve been—between you and Thyra—” I shook my head, lost for words. “Don’t start these half-assed conversations that are little more than goodbyes. You’re not going to trade yourself, or whatever other half-cocked scheme you have brewing up there, and neither of us is going to die. So cut the shit.”

“Do you think you’ll always be this angry?” “Do birds sing?” Dewalt snorted before lifting a hand to his face and sighing.

“Emma, his execution is already scheduled for tomorrow. He did this to himself, and you couldn’t possibly make it any worse.”

“Their hearts beat with mine.”

“How long has it been?” Rainier stretched as he spoke. “Uh, Winter Solstice is in two weeks.” Finally, I found the right key and swung his cell door open. “I missed your birthday then. Happy birthday, D.” “Leave it to you to say shit like that and somehow make me feel worse,” I said.

“Skies, you’re lucky you’re handsome,” she said. “I’m sorry, what?” “You’d have to be, because you aren’t too bright,” she coughed out, and I stared at her. “These are scars, you buffoon.”

I took a deep breath and shuddered as I exhaled. Would I be able to look at her the same? She was my wife, my twin flame, the one woman I loved and held above all else. And I was petrified to see her.

“She hurt you, didn’t she?” she asked, voice quaking. I didn’t have the heart to answer as I took her hand and stood.

“Alright, you little shit, let him up.” She shoved at it, and it freed me. “You have a dragon? How—you have a gods damn dragon?” “Seven, actually. Come on.” She gripped my hand and tugged, pulling us into what had once been an elaborate garden before the mayhem.

A hand slid around his waist and the woman peered out from behind him, a look on her face which told me she was smelling exactly what I smelled earlier in my cell. I felt the hint of a smile as I turned, climbing up behind Emma.

She was mine. She was real. She was here. “My dear heart,” I whispered into her neck, pressing my lips to her skin. Soft, warm, and mine.

He was going to kill the best thing to have ever come out of Darkhold.

“Eat shit, you moldy, old…turnip.” I was annoyed turnips were the first thing that came to mind.

“That’s no way for a princess to speak, though I appreciate the creativity. I’ve lived many years, and never have I been called a vegetable.”

The spark I felt with him was unlike anything I’d ever experienced, and I thought the air in my lungs must have been replaced with a swarm of buzzing bees. When he broke from the kiss and pressed his forehead to mine, I could feel his breath on my lips. “Wake up, Elora.”

“Your relationships suffer because you feel bad for me. I’m not going to watch another woman fall in love with you and get her heart broken. I’m not going to watch you break your own heart to protect me.”

“It’s not up for discussion. I want to break the bond.” “You want to break the bond for you, or you want to break the bond for me?” she countered.

“Do you want to know the names of the women you saved?” I inhaled sharply, opening my eyes to stare at him. “Does that matter when I killed the others?” “Yes. It matters to them, Em.”

He was my safety and my wild. He was my home. He was mine.

“We saved each other, Rain.”

“One day at a time, that’s all we can do, Rain.”

“I need you, Rain. That’s all I need. Nothing else.” I was begging, and I didn’t care. “I know.” He shut the door behind him as he left.

“I know. But in the meantime, I’m alone again. I don’t know if—this is all too much. I can’t do this. I killed those women, and I let my daughter die. She might never wake up, D. And now my husband won’t talk to me, won’t be around me…I’m all alone.”

I knew once she woke, Elora would never look at me again, let alone kiss me. But the Elora of my illusions? Of her dreams? She would kiss me.

“Shit, you are serious. Hanwen’s taint. Are you—”

“I have nothing to give you, Em. Maybe soon. But not yet.”

“Have I left some things out? Yes. But I’m going to rectify that and make a few things clear to you. I have never once regretted you, and frankly, the fact you exist is what has kept me breathing. You are everything to me in this world of shit. You were the only reason I didn’t end my life when everything was taken from me. Elora, you are—you are proof of my greatest love. My only love.”

“I love you too. I’m sorry you saw me die,” she whispered. “Don’t, baby. No.” I gasped and barely held my tears back. “I deserve to have that memory for the rest of my days. It was all my fault. Cyran—” “I liked him. I thought—I thought he liked me too, and I’m embarrassed. He was only kind to me so I would trust him.”

“I didn’t even think about that. I’m going to have to think about things like that. Divine fucking hell.”

His hands were in his pockets as he leaned one shoulder against the wall. Just the weight of his hands made his spare pants from the Cascade hang low on his hips.

“You’re anything but tame, Em.”