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It wasn’t hard to be with her—after all, we were both wolf girls now.
Maybe it would be fun. A date with Jacob, a date with Edward… I laughed darkly to myself.
I knew that this was the stupidest, most reckless thing I had done yet. The thought made me smile. The pain was already easing, as if my body knew that Edward’s voice was just seconds away.…
Oof
“Don’t do this,” he pleaded. You wanted me to be human, I reminded him. Well, watch me. “Please. For me.” But you won’t stay with me any other way.
I was almost happy that it was over. This was an easier death than others I’d faced. Oddly peaceful.
OOF
The water licked and writhed up the sand after us as Jacob carried me away, like it was angry that I’d escaped. As I stared wearily, a spark of color caught my unfocused eyes—a small flash of fire was dancing on the black water, far out in the bay.
AHHHH!!
Jacob’s slow, deep breathing was the only sound in the room—like a lullaby hummed to a child, like the whisper of a rocking chair, like the ticking of an old clock when you had nowhere you needed to go.… It was the sound of comfort.
It wouldn’t be easy; in fact, it would be downright miserable to give up my hallucinations and try to be a grown-up. But maybe I should do it. And maybe I could. If I had Jacob.
I couldn’t imagine my life without Jacob now—I cringed away from the idea of even trying to imagine that. Somehow, he’d become essential to my survival.
Would it be so wrong to try to make Jacob happy? Even if the love I felt for him was no more than a weak echo of what I was capable of, even if my heart was far away, wandering and grieving after my fickle Romeo, would it be so very wrong?
My hand froze in its searching, my whole body froze into place, as I realized why I recognized the strange orange color on the water. Victoria’s hair, blowing wild in the wind, the color of fire…
Alice shook her head. “I told him this would happen, but he didn’t believe me. ‘Bella promised,’” her voice imitated his so perfectly that I froze in shock while the pain ripped through my torso. “‘Don’t be looking for her future, either,’” she continued to quote him. “‘We’ve done enough damage.’
“He’s taken care of his father physically the way Bella took care of her mother emotionally. It matured him.
I don’t know… even with Jacob, now and then I see something in her eyes, and I wonder if I’ve ever grasped how much pain she’s really in. It’s not normal, Alice, and it… it frightens me. Not normal at all. Not like someone… left her, but like someone died.” His voice cracked. It was like someone had died—like I had died. Because it had been more than just losing the truest of true loves, as if that were not enough to kill anyone. It was also losing a whole future, a whole family—the whole life that I’d chosen.…
“My name was Mary Alice Brandon,” she told me quietly. “I had a little sister named Cynthia. Her daughter—my niece—is still alive in Biloxi.” “Did you find out why they put you in… that place?” What would drive parents to that extreme? Even if their daughter saw visions of the future.… She just shook her head, her topaz eyes thoughtful. “I couldn’t find much about them. I went through all the old newspapers on microfiche. My family wasn’t mentioned often; they weren’t part of the social circle that made the papers. My parents’ engagement was there, and Cynthia’s.” The name fell uncertainly
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“Yeah, I’ll always be your friend,” he said gruffly. “No matter what you love.” “Promise?” “Promise.”
Maybe, when I was beautiful and strong, he wouldn’t want distractions.
Ick
She eyed me speculatively. “How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?”
And the last seven months meant nothing. And his words in the forest meant nothing. And it did not matter if he did not want me. I would never want anything but him, no matter how long I lived.
At least I could be with him again before I died. That was better than a long life.
“Marcus sees relationships. He’s surprised by the intensity of ours.”
“But still—la tua cantante! What a waste!” Edward chuckled once without humor. “I look at it more as a price.”
“They have a name for someone who smells the way Bella does to me. They call her my singer—because her blood sings for me.”
It was heaven—right smack in the middle of hell.
He continued to kiss my hair, my forehead, my wrists… but never my lips, and that was good. After all, how many ways can one heart be mangled and still be expected to keep beating? I’d lived through a lot that should have finished me in the last few days, but it didn’t make me feel strong. Instead, I felt horribly fragile, like one word could shatter me.
I’m here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn’t want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy.”
“Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason.… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.”
“Your hold is permanent and unbreakable,” he whispered. “Never doubt that.”
Option three: Edward loved me. The bond forged between us was not one that could be broken by absence, distance, or time. And no matter how much more special or beautiful or brilliant or perfect than me he might be, he was as irreversibly altered as I was. As I would always belong to him, so would he always be mine.
His eyes were cautious—he spoke slowly. “Marry me first.”
“Forever,” he vowed, still a little staggered. “That’s all I’m asking for,”
The fairy tale was back on. Prince returned, bad spell broken. I wasn’t sure exactly what to do about the leftover, unresolved character. Where was his happily ever after?
I’m a quick learner, Jacob Black, and I don’t make the same mistake twice. I’m here until she orders me away.”
