Again

by J.L. Seegars

I still feel like my legs have been swept out from under me the moment his gaze touches mine because it’s there. It’s all there. Every second of our history is written on his face. Every kiss, every hug, every contented sigh and moan etched inside rings of smoky quartz and gold.

“I can’t do that,” he says quietly. “Why not?” “Because doing that only makes me think about how everyone should still be calling you Mrs. Daniels.”

Awww, stooooop. Thats so sad and sweet.

to come out of hiding and fall right into the bottomless pit of my ex-husband’s eyes. It’s a dangerous place to be. A place full of inside jokes and haunted memories that promise to gleam like diamonds once you wash away the layer of dust covering them with your tears.

“Then I’d tell you to shut up again.”

“You make the end of our marriage sound so simple, so easy, like letting you go didn’t kill me. Like not knowing why I had to figure out how to live life without you hasn’t made every fucking day unbearable.”

“I can’t, baby.” Her pulse pounds beneath my lips, and I feel mine racing to match it. “I need you.”

AHHHHH!

“Shut up. Shut up. Don’t ruin this with your stupid mouth.”

she should be worried because I’m not leaving Tulum without her heart.

Get your wife Jax!!!!

A dark chuckle fills the air. “You’re such a desperate little liar.”

Cackling like a depraved witch and kicking my feet

“There’s never been a world where there wasn’t an us.”

He's literally perfect. I love him. The end.

I wish I could climb underneath her skin. Burrow into her heart, make her soul my home.

I used to think she was a blessing—a gift from God to an undeserving man—but I was wrong. She isn’t a blessing, some small thing held up to prove the existence of a higher power and keep you beholden to it. She is the reason blessings exist. They are born in her eyes and fueled by the blood in her veins. They are forged in her name and written by her hand. She is my religion. Her body is my place of worship, and I will spend the rest of my life at her altar.

Sometimes I watched just to see your face and hear your voice.”

as I wait for Amina’s answer. Patient. Composed. Even-tempered. Because whatever answer she’s formulating in her mind will be thoughtful and intentional, which means that’s what I have to be as well.

I’m only half-listening though, too caught up in the hope springing in my chest and spreading out to all of my limbs to do anything but stare at her.

“Tell me where you need me, baby.”

He holds his arms open, and I step inside, letting him envelop me in the warmest, safest hug. One that makes me feel like I can survive anything as long as he’s by my side.

“I NEVER WANTED A FUTURE WITHOUT YOU!”

A tear slides down my cheek,

Mine too!