Again

by J.L. Seegars

Both sides of his mouth quirk, and it takes me a full second to process the fact that he saw me running from him. Saw me going into full track star mode only to end up lowering myself into the seat next to him with his teasing words burning a hole in my brain.

“Funny. And what word would you use to describe your habit of making everything I do about you?” Obsession. Reckless compulsion. Love.

Amina could never be my past. Our love—our history, our future, and even this impossible present where she won’t acknowledge that she’s mine— lives in a place where time doesn’t exist. A boundless space where the brand she left on my heart has never faded. A ceaseless oasis that will continue to be even when this world is gone and our bodies are nothing but dust floating in the cosmos. This, among other things, is what I’m here to tell her. What I plan on spending this entire week getting her to understand.

“I haven’t breathed since you left me, Amina.” Logically, I know the statement makes no sense, but it feels like the truest thing I’ve ever said. Like the only truth that’s ever mattered. Because she has to know that despite everything—the restaurants, the homes, the padded bank account, and notoriety—my life isn’t worth living without her. “Don’t say that. I can’t hear you say that.” There’s a tremor in her voice, but I can’t tell if it’s because she’s feeling emotional or because I’m slowly peeling