Again

by J.L. Seegars

THE PLAYLIST 01./ Let it Be by Dondria 02./ ilym by John K. (feat. ROSIE) 03./ Cry with You by Jeremy Zucker 04./ Every Kind of Way by H.E.R. 05./ Mourning Doves by Jhené Aiko 06./ Seasons by 6LACK (feat. Khalid) 07./ Always Been You by Jessie Murph 08./ I Do by Jessie Reyez 09./ Damage by H.E.R. 10./ First Time by TEEKS 11./ Whenever, Wherever, Whatever by Maxwell

Love a good playlist

I’ve always been a brat, eager to defy him, to remind him that I might submit to his will eventually, but I’ll never do so without a fight.

The idea of any part of us being resigned to the past, deemed an insignificant relic of an era that has been forgotten, makes my entire being ache. Amina could never be my past. Our love—our history, our future, and even this impossible present where she won’t acknowledge that she’s mine— lives in a place where time doesn’t exist. A boundless space where the brand she left on my heart has never faded. A ceaseless oasis that will continue to be even when this world is gone and our bodies are nothing but dust floating in the cosmos.

“I don’t give a fuck about those papers. Everything I have is yours, and it always will be because I wouldn’t have any of it if it wasn’t for you.”

My body is waging a war with my mind, and I honestly don’t know which one I want to win.

“You make the end of our marriage sound so simple, so easy, like letting you go didn’t kill me. Like not knowing why I had to figure out how to live life without you hasn’t made every fucking day unbearable.”

That bittersweet mix of happiness for the people you love and unyielding sadness for yourself.

I feel SEEN

I’m not afraid of hard work. Not if it gets me you.

“You’re thinking too much, baby. All I need you to do is feel.”

My need for him is a constant hum underneath my skin that’s amplified by the alcohol in my system and the love in my heart, and I want more than anything to sate it.