The Infinity Between Us

by N.S. Perkins

“My parents are going to try to work things out, and they said we need to… put some space between our families. For now.”

“Your parents tell you to let me go, and you just agree? Just like that?”

“We just think you and I should spend a little time apart. That’s all.”

“I love you, Violet. Please remember that.”

And when you hear the door close, you know you haven’t only lost your family, but also the man who owns your heart.

You’re already broken.

“Don’t waste your time being angry when you could be in love.”

“Stop this right there. You’re not defined by what you do, Violet.” His eyes are incredulous as they alternate between mine. “It drives me crazy that you think that. You don’t have to do anything to be extraordinary. Just being you is enough. You’re enough.”

And now, that love feels stronger than ever. Like he’s tattooed on my skin, on my organs, on my soul, and I couldn’t get him out even if I wanted to.

“I was wrong before. You really do know me.”

my girl

back. “You were my everything, Will. You were my everything, and you treated me like I was nothing.”

“Violet, baby, I’m not treating it like that. You are.”

“Ever since you walked into this house, you had it set in your mind that I’d never be there for you.” His throat bobs. “There’s nothing I want more than to be your forever, but not at the cost of feeling your anger all my life.”

“Keep the house,” he says, voice low and raw. “Do what you want with it. I wanted to see if it could make you happy again, but clearly, it doesn’t.” On the last word, his voice cracks. He clears his throat, sniffles another time. “Please be happy.” With a spin on his heels, he’s gone.

I want this house. I want the Seabergs in my life. I want Will.

With a deep breath, I start drawing.

“You need to forgive, Violet. Let go of things.”

“I need to get to him.”

“You do.”

“Now go find your love.”

“It’s fine to say you came to see him. It’s not like it wasn’t always you and him against the world.”

“Listen to me. My brother loves you. You love my brother. There’s nothing complicated about it. So go make things right instead of wasting time if you don’t want to lose the relationship you want.”

wildest dreams

She’s in every place I visit, in all the love songs I listen to. She’s in the chocolate-cherry ice cream I eat and the 2000s movies I watch and the Jeep I still drive and the thunderstorms outside my window and the quotes I read about love and pain and beauty and heartache.

“I love you.”

“I said I love you, Will. I love you, and I’m so, so sorry for everything. I’ve made some mistakes, the worst one being letting you go. And I can’t promise I’ll be perfect from now on because I know I won’t, but I can promise you to try my very best every day. And I know I might need to grovel, but I’m ready for it. Tell me what you want. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m sorry, baby, but you’ll need to say all that again. I’m still stuck on the ‘I love you’ part.”

“I don’t want to just date,” I say. “When you left, you said you wanted to be my forever. That’s what I want.”

“And I don’t get an ‘I love you’ back?” He smiles, a supernova in the cosmos. “Oh, baby, I’ll give you a million.”

It’s not always easy to be with the one you love. I realize it now. You need to work for it. But once you do, you can spend every day of your life feeling the way I’m feeling right now. Infinite.

“I love you.” He cups my ass and lifts me in his arms. “I love you too.” Kiss. “But don’t think that means you’re not going in the water.” I gasp, already fighting to get out of his grip, but I know it’s impossible. “Please, Will, don’t.”

“Are you happy?”

“The happiest.”