The Butcher's Masquerade (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #5)

by Matt Dinniman

“Okay, buddy. We gotta be quick. You are balls deep in the wrong hole, and mom is pulling into the driveway. You get me?”

The moment anybody becomes a citizen, the Syndicate bends them over and fucks them. I can’t stop you from getting fucked. But I am the condom. You guys have condoms on your world? Of course you do. Everybody has condoms. Your ass is gonna hurt no matter what, but at least you won’t have tryptic genital mites after.”

The day I take a bribe from some pig-faced imperialist fuck is the day I wither.”

And how is that machine greased? The universe’s four lubricants. Blood, tears, taxes, and lawyers.”