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“Because…fudge the patriarchy!” She thrusts a tiny fist up high, and I think I have a mini stroke.
all she’ll have to do is turn her barstool around to find another douche who claims to love brunching.
“P.S. I want a kid I can swear in front of and have her be behaved enough to know not to repeat it. That’s like…the cutest party trick ever.”
“And they’re not naked! They’re…shirtless. But that’s because some of them are athletes. Athletes get hot when they…athlete.”
“Did she just use athlete as a verb?” Luke whispers under his breath.