Last on the List (Wait With Me, #5)

by Amy Daws

I roll my eyes. “Fine, you want to know my kink?” I hesitate, chewing on my lip nervously as his eyes burn into me. “I’m intrigued by the idea of a little…light choking.” Max’s eyes bulge. “Choking?” “Not like…breath play, where you make me pass out and bring me back to life. Just like…” I grab his hand and hold it to my neck. His fingers curl around my flesh gently as he embraces me. “Just like…a claiming.” He bites his lip and eyes me sensually. “What do you like about it?” I shiver at his wicked tone. “Just the idea of a man’s masculine hand wrapped around the most tender part of a woman’s body. A neckline is very elegant, don’t you think?” He releases my neck and nuzzles into me, sniffing deeply before pulling back and replying reverently, “Fuck yes.”

“Are you sure Everly won’t think it’s weird?” My eyes dart to the door as I hear voices outside. “You can stay in her bed,” Max replies with a heated look in his eyes as he releases my chin. “After you stay in mine.” The boyish wink he shoots me before casually walking outside to greet Claire at the door is literally panty-melting. My panties…are gone.

“And if it wasn’t totally fucking weird, I would pepper your tits with hickeys right now.” “Please don’t.” She sighs, combing her fingers through my hair and gripping it to yank my face back. “I have to wear swimsuits around your kid.” “Lucky kid.” I smirk before leaning in to slide my tongue up her neck, inhaling her intoxicating scent. “Fine, no more hickeys.”

My hand glides up her chest to her neck as I hold her in place to kiss her lips. I’ve learned quickly what she likes about this. It’s the moment of control, that moment when she gasps out the release of power and gives it to me to control her. It’s fucking hot. It’s too hot. I need to get her off this fucking couch. Now.

“Everly,” I finish his thought, a knot forming in my throat over the image of this strong, virile man who has the success anyone would ever dream of, but in reality, he’s broken on a fundamental level, only allowing the love of his daughter into his life as a form of protection. “She’s my world.” Max’s voice cracks at the end, and I think my heart stops at the pain in his eyes. He clears his throat and adds, “She chases all my clouds away. What more do I need in life?”

My body shakes with genuine laughter at how she just took the sexiest moment I’ve ever experienced with a woman in my life…and made it hilarious…yet somehow even sexier. God, I’m into her.

“Meaning that you have real feelings for me and I’m not just a summer fling for you during your Great Defrost.” “You’re not a summer fling,” she snaps defensively as she wipes at a bead of sweat that’s fallen down her temple. “You’re like…the most unexpected, shocking, sexiest, best surprise of my life.”

“You are an even better surprise than Kate asking me to make cocktuterie boards.” My brows lift. “Cock what?”

“This one is my favorite,” Kate says, holding up one of the maples that I liked the most too. “The deep curve of this says…yeah, I might have dick cheese…but I can still hit your brie-spot.”

“Cozy…you don’t have to answer to me,” Kate says, pressing her hand on my shoulder. “I’m not your boss. I’m your client. You’re your own cock-making boss bitch and you call the cum shots on your career. Got it?” I giggle and nod. “Got it.”

“You think there’s a woman stronger than the one who made me five cocktuterie boards in a week?” Kate deadpans. “No such woman exists. She would be a fearsome thing to behold, though.” I groan in frustration. “These boards are different. I feel safe here. I do not feel safe with Max. I feel like I could be swallowed whole by him and lose sight of all that I’ve fought to gain back in my life.”

“I think you’re forgetting one very important fact, Cozy.” Kate lifts her eyebrows meaningfully as her face grows serious. “Being vulnerable only makes you weak if you’re around predators. Being vulnerable with someone good and decent like Max can make you fiercely strong. Miles and Tucker make me feel like I could move mountains. They motivate me to crush my goals and go after my dreams. I want to make them proud, whether it’s opening a charity bookstore or just throwing in a frozen pizza. I live for them.”

“You have nothing to feel guilty for, Jess.” I reach down and untie my tie, feeling suddenly like I’m sitting in the hot seat. “You can’t control your sexuality any more than I can control mine.” Her voice is strained when she replies, “I know, but I know you struggled with thinking everything in our past wasn’t real…and you’re just so wrong about that. I loved you, Max. I loved you in all the ways I knew how to love you at the time. You are my family. Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I considered staying with you forever despite my sexuality because I loved our family, and I loved you! But ultimately, I knew that wasn’t fair to you.” “I know all this, Jess. We did the therapy. I’m good.” “I don’t think you are. I don’t think you’ve ever really let it sink in. You’ve read the books and done the therapy. You’re an ally and a great co-parent, but you haven’t forgiven our past. Our life together was not a cloudy storm. It was sunshine and rainbows. They were the best years of my life. You made me a mom, Max. We made Everly together. She is you. She is me. She is ours. Nothing about her creation should feel darkened to you.”

“He’s not my man,” I reply dismissively. “He was definitely coming at me like he was your man,” Paisley huffs. “He was defending you like a king defends his queen, Cas. I was equal parts terrified and aroused.”

It was easy peasy. But Daddy and Cozy will be a lot harder, I think, because they’re grown-ups. That’s why I called my uncles to come help me set up their date tonight. I decided to do their romantic dinner by the pool because that’s the first time I noticed how my daddy looked at Cozy. He looked at her like how I look at ice cream. But he better not lick her because that would be gross!

He arches a perfect brow and states happily, “You’re fired.” He presses his lips to mine and murmurs against them, “Pack your bags.” He pulls back and gazes down at me to add, “I love you.” Is firing a kink? If so…sign me up.

However, in my eyes, Cassandra was mine the second she moved into that tiny house. It’s why I worked from home that first week. It’s why I kissed her like a starved man that night of the storm. It’s why I freaked out when she tried to go on a date. It’s why I couldn’t stay away from her after tasting her. She is mine in all the ways I’ve ever wanted a woman to be mine. And I want to be hers forever.

I looked different in my cropped sweatshirts that I loved to wear. So I quit wearing them. Until Max noticed. When I admitted to him that I felt embarrassed of my body now, he held me in front of the mirror and traced each line with his finger before reverently whispering, “Each one of these lines is a sign of your incredible strength, Cassandra. They kept you healthy and strong so you could become a mother and give us all the gift of Ethan. These lines are our family. Please, be as proud of them as we are of you.” I cried and let him hold me that night and remind me that he loved my body in any shape and size.