The Girl Beyond the Gate

by Becca Day

‘It appears he may have taken his own life.’

Somethings weird. What if Norah did it and is going to blame Jodie?

‘My daughter. It would have been her birthday yesterday. She passed away three years ago.’

Not a death date, but a day where her babe would've been older if she wasn't dead. I think this is probably why she's anti-child, but I love developement where she is growing to Lacy.

I’ll make some calls, do some research, find out what I can.

This isn't adding up. I don't think Roth killed himself, not when he was helping Norah.

Now I just need to wait for the WhatsApp messages to roll in.

That was sneaking and rude bro. If you have an issue with Jodie, tell her, don't play whatever game you're playing.

If there’s anything I’ve learned over my years of researching family secrets, it’s that behaviours don’t just come out of nowhere. A cheat has almost always veered from their marriage in some form previously, whether it be getting a lap dance at a strip club or indulging in a regular dose of first-person porn. A drug problem can usually be traced back to the first, mostly innocent puff of weed, and previous to that, the first cigarette. If Norah has violent tendencies – of which, at this point, I’ve totally convinced myself – there’ll be something in her past that steered her that way.

This is a very interesting take because a lot of times, people base negative actions off home life. Oh, you're a serial killer? you must've been hit as a kid. like where I agree, there is many places where I can disagree.

But Lacey is different. I’ve allowed myself to grow attached.

‘This is just a quick visit to let you know we received the coroner’s report and we’re now closing the investigation into Mr Roth’s death.’ ‘Dr Roth,’ I correct on impulse, and DS Wolfe’s eyebrows fly up.

You cannot convince me this was suicide.

‘When we spoke to Miss Williams, she knew straight away that it was you who asked us to look into her. She said you’d had a disagreement a few months back. That she’d asked you to stay away from her daughter?’ ‘Yes, because she’s hiding something!’

I second this one, I've sused this out the whole book. SOMETHING AIN'T RIGHT HERE.

I want to grab her by the shoulders and shake her, scream into her face that she’s looking into the wrong person. This isn’t about me.

I don’t say anything, keeping my expression as neutral as possible while they disappear through the door and have it closed firmly behind them. If they don’t believe me, I’ll have to find proof myself.

Is she running over the events of the other night, replaying her conversation with Christian, picturing his hands on her body?

She's thinking about how you're sus and that you're making Lacy sick for attention and money.

‘You told them I have an unhealthy fixation with Lacey!’

Norah trying to save her own ass is totally embarrassing. I think she know's exactly what she's doing. L for Norah.

‘You knew she was there, didn’t you?’ Jodie says. I stop in my tracks, tucking a stray tendril of hair behind my ear. ‘Of course I did,’ I say, looking down at her ashen face and smiling. ‘I’m her mother.’

What a wrench bro.

The sense of relief is overwhelming. She is still mine. Jodie Madison would do well to steer clear of us from now on. She has no idea who she’s dealing with.

I really hope she does come to fuck with you. You're a bitch.

Something about how Norah approaches Lacey’s illness just doesn’t sit right with me.

But standing on my own, in front of the house that played host to such a tragic loss of life, no amount of reasoning can curb the heebie-jeebies.

And then it comes to me. I didn’t find Norah Williams in Paul’s office.

shit, she's like really smart, I didn't even consider that.

For a moment I wonder if he’s actually going to kill me, his face is that twisted and explosive. And then, after what feels like hours of simply staring at each other, my eyes drift over to the other person in the room, still buttoning up their shirt. It isn’t Heidi. It’s David Timson, the concierge from the main gate.

What's going on ya'll?

The cycle is unrelenting; in a minute Lacey will snap back at me that she’s old enough to do what she wants and that if I really want to go that badly I should just leave her here alone, even though she knows, she knows, I can’t do that. Every time we careen down this path I know what is coming and yet I am powerless to stop it. But this time is different. She doesn’t come at me with some snide remark. Instead, she looks up at me with tears lacing her lower eyelids. ‘Please don’t make me go.’

Norah is so explosive sometimes. If she was my mom, I would be terrified.

It’s strange how you can be so intimate with someone, can allow them to share your bed and touch your body, and yet you still haven’t got to know much about them.

Why is it such a big deal that Norah isn’t here? Who was she to Christian?

I would like to know too, and I think I totally passed over that Paul and David are having an affair.

‘To tell you to mind your own business,’

Then, to my horror, the tears she has been holding back break forth, spilling down her cheeks and making her look unrecognisable.

She knew?!

‘He told me, you know? How you were rifling around his office after hours. Looking through confidential files. I should call the police on you.’

shit

‘You have no idea what that woman has been through. Leave her alone. And leave us alone.’

No idea what Norah’s been through? They’ve got no idea what I’ve been through, or what tomorrow is.

literally sickening love

Oh, I’m fine by the way, guys. Thanks for the concern.

mood lmao

After what feels like an eternity, she lifts her gaze to meet mine. ‘I know what you did.’

WHAT? THE GURLIES ARE NECK AND NECK

Moving on … what a ridiculous concept. How on earth is anyone meant to move on from losing their own child? I’ve heard it so many times it’s become a sort of private joke that only I understand.

The thing with grief, I’ve discovered, is that there is a time limit to how long you’re allowed to grieve.

It’s your dad. Ty.

Why, why, why did I ring them? I’ve built a life here.

Why aren’t you here?

‘Jodie?’ Someone is calling me. ‘What are you doing?’

I don’t want to go with her. I want to stay here, near the water, where I can feel closer to you.

You’re here with me, finally.

‘Where are we going, Mummy?’ you say.

I see this line in particular is foreshadowing. This is the second time this line has been repeated.

The first time I saw Paul and David together, I also saw an opportunity. So yes, perhaps I was in the wrong to tell him if my name change ever got out I’d share my discovery with Heidi, and possibly the other residents of Kensington Grove.

Now she knows I was blackmailing Paul, I have nothing to hold over him anymore. My carefully constructed web of lies is crumbling.

It’s warm in my hands. Lacey has a mobile phone. I repeat the words in my head to attempt to make them make sense, but nothing about this makes sense. I look at my daughter, at her small, delicate face which seems to have gone about four shades paler since I entered the room.

I bet Jodie had something to do with this.

ok, so I was wrong, whomp, whomp

I had been sure she was going to say Jodie.

same

‘Did you have anything to do with that fire?’ The words feel bizarre on my tongue and I can’t believe I’m actually having to ask it. ‘It was only meant to be a small one.’ Lacey’s voice is cracking now, the tears no longer constrained to her eyelids but running down her cheeks and splashing onto her duvet. ‘It was meant to act as a distraction so I could sneak away. He felt sorry for me. I told him I wanted to have some adventure for once. He was only trying to be nice. It’s not his fault. Please don’t blame him.’

I know I’ll regret it when my pride returns.

I immediately regret saying it. No way do I want to babysit her kid. I don’t want to be anywhere near a baby. Not only that, but I’ve just good as dropped myself in it and am now going to have to explain how I can know how hard it is when, as far as Heidi knows, I’ve never had kids of my own.

‘I lost the baby a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t know how to tell people.’ My body goes numb. I shake my head, unable to form any words.

be. There is nothing like losing a child. Because you’re not just losing a baby, or an embryo, or a sweet, sweet twelve-year-old. You’re losing everything they could be. Everything they should be. The life you had planned out and all the future memories you were hoping to enjoy with them.

‘Believe it or not, I do know how you feel.’

What with the drama of discovering Paul and David in his office, I’d somehow forgotten the name on that last file I’d opened before it all kicked off. It had been there in the top line. Wilson. Norah Wilson. She had changed her name to get away from her drunk of a husband. Gareth Wilson is Lacey’s dad.

Lacey is whimpering inside her room, short bursts that quite frankly sound fake.