More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
big black pickup is parked by the curb, smack dab in front of the door. Standing up on the tailgate is a well over six-foot blonde, bearded animal with a man bun, inked arms, and a shit-eating grin to rival Jack Nicholson. As if his location in the bed of the truck alone isn’t conspicuous enough, he’s holding up a large sign that reads: WELCOME HOME FROM PRISON, COUSIN ALICE.
“I remember that one time I shampooed this mop with mud because I told you it would help your boobies come in.”
“The boyfriend is nonexistent on the account that I found him fucking my stepsister, slash former roommate, slash former best friend in my bed of all places. As if our very adequate two-bedroom apartment didn’t have enough square footage for him to slip his micropenis in, they decided infesting my space with their sex drippings would be a blast. It’s comical really, because he’s been a jealous freak our entire relationship, barely wanting me to look at other men, let alone talk to them. He’d probably be jealous of you two even after being told we share a bloodline.”
“Did you really say ‘sex drippings’ a minute ago?” Booker cracks up laughing and I bite my lip to remain composed. “Fuck me, you’re a bloody Harris if I ever saw one.”
wanted a one-night stand,” I blurt out unapologetically, my inner Harris Ho stretching out her feminist wings proudly.
His tongue invades my mouth swiftly, like an expert seaman navigating an ocean, searching for buried treasure.
“In my experience, ugly ducklings are swans in disguise, trying to give the other birds a chance at feeling special.” He turns his head and eyes me curiously. “Because they haven’t figured out that they’re the most special of all.”
This is fucking. This is blissed-out, maxed-out, orgasmic sex to the nines. I’ve never felt sex like this. I’ve never felt an orgasm like this. Roan is completely obliterating all penises that came before him.
Roan clears his throat, and I look up to see him standing by the bathroom, light shining down on his erection. How is he hard again? He cocks his head. “Ready for round two of rebound fucking, Allie Harris?”
A lot of Tanner’s facial expressions resemble the look of a predatory stalker, but that’s evidently just his face.
“Oi, let’s listen to what Mr. Capelle came here to say and then you can all go back to tugging on your trouser snakes.”
“Fuck that. You’re shook,” he growls back in his Scottish accent. “I’m not shook,” I snap defensively. Mac’s green eyes twinkle with challenge. “DeWalt, you’re shooketh if ever I’ve seen a shooketh! Now get it telt what’s crawled up your arse.”
Don’t they get cold? I thought shrinkage was a real thing! Nothing in this room is shrunken. Shranked? Whatever…I can’t grammar right now, there’s dicks everywhere!
“Cousin!” Tanner’s loud voice booms as he cinches the towel around his waist. I see Booker standing in the background with a rueful smile on his face. “If you want to see some trouser snakes, I recommend finding some you’re not related to by blood.” “Tanner!” I exclaim, my cheeks heating with embarrassment. “Or better yet, just set up a profile on Porn Hub. The free stuff you find on there is not bad.”
Me: This is the best sex you ever had…obviously. Allie: Jake! I haven’t heard from you in ages! Me: I don’t know who Jake is, but I’m certain my cock is bigger than his.
“Why don’t you shut up and kiss me already, Lis? You’ve been staring at my lips all night, and it’s getting kind of pathetic.”
I clear my throat and state, “So I hear you’re my date again.” He lifts his brows victoriously. “I hear the same…It’s funny because it would appear that even your family wants us to be dating.” I roll my eyes. “It’s not a date. It’s a setup.” He bites his lip and looks down at my jersey. “Whatever you say, DeWalt.” I frown at his bizarre reply and then Sloan grabs my arm to pull me down the hall.
smile at her as I sip my drink. “It’s hot out there!” She nods and sips her fruity cocktail. “Hotter than the wedding night on Outlander.”
“Well, I didn’t want to agree to this! But being a Harris apparently means I’m a weak, sex-crazed, nut-job who gets one taste of a good orgasm and can’t function in society without a daily dose of it.”
Vi giggles nervously and looks over her shoulder. “Well, this is what you’d call a Harris Shakedown.” “A what?” I ask in confusion. “A Harris Shakedown,” Vi repeats with a playful punch to my shoulder. “You’ll be fine. Just don’t show them any weakness. They’re kind of like sharks. If they smell blood, they’ll go in for the kill.”
Gareth steps forward so we’re toe to toe. “DeWalt.” He says my name flatly, like it tastes bad on his tongue. My eyes flicker side to side for a second before I smile back at him. “Hey there, Gareth. How’s the wife and kids?” I ask flippantly. He tilts his head. “I heard what you did to my cousin.”
“I’m Sophia,” she says with narrowed eyes as she sticks a silver whistle into her mouth. She points at Gareth and adds around the metal between her teeth, “That’s my dad.” “How old are you?” She drops the whistle out of her mouth. “Old enough to red flag you.” The sidelines erupt with laughter as I frown down at the little girl. “Fair enough.”
“You WAG’d yourself properly?” Mac hoots with a shit-eating grin. He slaps me on the leg. “I called it, mate! I so fucking called it. My wee boy finally got himself a WAG.”
“I’m glad the world has changed because it made it possible for me to see true love in my grandson’s eyes.”
“The truth is, you’re the most beautiful woman here tonight and I’m a lucky bastard because I know that’s the least interesting thing about you.”
Swoon
“What the fuck is happening?” “You tell me!” Mac bellows. “All I know is that your date started saying shite about you being in a sex video online, and now we’re being chased by the Harris Brothers by the looks of it.” He looks behind us and shakes his head. “I think I can take Booker, but they have us outnumbered.”
Little Rocky has broken loose from her mother’s arms and is currently working hard at pulling all of Camden’s James Patterson novels off the book shelf. Camden wrinkles his nose at the horrific scene. “It’s fine…It’s totally fine. They’re all just sorted based on my favourite puns, and it only took me an entire weekend to get them exactly how I like them. But look, she seems to be using them for a dance floor, so there’s the silver lining to my agony.”
“Oh, sod off with that nonsense!” Tanner bellows, draping his arm around Belle. “If we gave a toss about our reputations, we wouldn’t have let Gareth pop Roan in the bloody jaw.”
“Do you think I give a fuck about my endorsement deal anymore?” I bark, shoving a hand through my hair and gripping the back of my neck. “Right now, I’m just trying to figure out how to fucking function with the crater-sized hole you left in my heart.”
He slows the waltz and looks deeply into my eyes. “Hi, mooi.” I huff out an exasperated breath, my heart pounding in my chest in disbelief. “How are you here?” He smirks, his eyes twinkling as he replies, “There is this really modern flying vehicle called an airplane.”
“Where is my home, Roan?” I ask, my voice cracking with fear because there’s only one answer I want to hear. He gazes at me with so much tenderness that I have to hold my breath while he answers, “Your home is with the man who knows that what his woman did was fucked-up, but he also knows that a lifetime of fuck-ups with her would be a life well-lived together.”
But we can survive it together because you belong with me. You are mine and I am yours. I want to be your home and your family. Hell, I want to marry you.”
I whisk her into my arms and twirl us around the dance floor for a measure. “Real or fake? I told you that night at the dance studio that this could be our wedding song.”
“Allie Harris, you say you’re not a dancer, but what you don’t know is that dancing is just skipping in circles. And from the moment you skipped into my life, I haven’t been the same. And I don’t want to be the same.
