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June 22 - October 5, 2023
“A person without a smiling face must not open a shop.”
Smile.
remembering names and making people feel important—yet
Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
The chronic kicker, even the most violent critic, will frequently soften and be subdued in the presence of a patient, sympathetic listener—a listener who will be silent while the irate fault-finder dilates like a king cobra and spews the poison out of its system.
‘I want to thank you for coming to Chicago to tell me about this. You have done me a great favor, for if our credit department has annoyed you, it may annoy other good customers, and that would be bad, very bad, for our company. Believe me, I am far more eager to hear this than you are to tell it.’
Bores, that is all they are—bores intoxicated with their own egos, drunk with a sense of their own importance.
People who talk only of themselves think only of themselves. And “those people who think only of themselves,” said Dr. Nicholas Murray Butler, longtime president of Columbia University, “are hopelessly uneducated. They are not educated no matter how instructed they may be.”
To be interesting, be i...
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Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Always make the other person feel important.
“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
“hearty in their approbation and lavish in their praise.”
“I’m sorry to trouble you,” “Would you be so kind as to ———?” “Won’t you please?” “Would you mind?” “Thank you”:
The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure path to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely.
Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.
IN A NUTSHELL SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU
Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he or she is absolutely right.
A man convinced against his will Is of the same opinion still.
“it is impossible to defeat an ignorant man by argument.”
Buddha said, “Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love,” and a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation, and a sympathetic desire to see the other person’s viewpoint.
Better give your path to a dog than be bitten by him in contesting for the right. Even killing the dog would not cure the bite.”
Welcome the disagreement. Remember the slogan, “When two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.” If there is some point you haven’t thought about, be thankful if it is brought to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.
Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not your best.
Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what ...
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Do not resist, defend, or debate.
Look for areas of agreement. When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which you agree.
Be honest. Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.
“My wife and I made a pact a long time ago, and we’ve kept it no matter how angry we’ve grown with each other. When one yells, the other should listen—because when two people yell, there is no communication, just noise and bad vibrations.”
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
“You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself.”
Show respect for the other person’s
opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
Any fool can try to defend his or her mistakes—and most fools do—but it raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility and exultation to admit them first.
“By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Begin in a friendly way.
doesn’t pay to argue, that it is much more profitable and much more interesting to look at things from the other person’s viewpoint and try to get that person saying ‘Yes, yes.’ ”
“He who treads softly goes far.”
Get the other person saying “Yes, yes” immediately.
“People can’t be ‘sold.’ You have to let them buy.”
“If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.”
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
“The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, putteth himself below them; wishing to be before them, he putteth himself behind them. Thus, though his place be above men, they do not feel his weight; though his place be before them, they do not count it an injury.”
Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
Appeal to the nobler motives.
