Restore Me

by J.L. Seegars

“Angel.” He plants a kiss on my lips. “I’m jealous of the wind that gets to blow through your curls.” Another kiss, this time to my jaw. “Of the fabric that gets to hug your curves all day and the moonlight that streams across your skin at night.”

My mouth falls open in outrage even as my heart soars with a joy that can only come from being known and understood by someone. From never having to ask for what you want or need but being given it anyway.

“You told me to come home, angel.” His fingers are brutal as they pound into me, every stroke pushing me towards a meltdown of epic proportions. “Home. Like this house and the most precious thing in it belongs to me. Is that the case? Do you belong to me?”

“You’re not going to be anything like your mom, Sloane. There’s too much warmth and love in you for you to ever be as critical and cold as she is, especially to your own child. You’re going to be an amazing mother, baby. I don’t doubt it.”

“You should go. This isn’t…dealing with my grief isn’t a part of our arrangement. Just go back to work and I’ll⁠—” “Shut up, Sloane.” He grabs my wrist to pull me back into his lap. I land on top of him with an irritated scowl. “Did you just tell me to shut up?” “Yes, because I didn’t want you to waste your breath on the rest of that sentence when we both know I’m not going anywhere.”

If anything, life owes you some good, joyful moments to give you a break from the grief you’ve been carrying around all by yourself.”

“I love fucking your mouth, Sloane, but nothing compares to being inside you. Feeling every pull and squeeze of your pussy while you come all over me. Hearing you say my name through those soft, breathless moans while you beg me for more. That’s what I want right now. Can I have that, baby?”

This is why I love him. Not because he buys me chocolate cheesecake just days before my period is about to start—though the timing really does make it more meaningful—but because he’s always thinking of me. Always trying to find new ways to make me smile and laugh. It’s almost like he’s addicted to seeing my eyes shine with joy and happiness that’s aimed squarely at him.

“The moment when I’m so deep inside of you we both know you’ll feel it tomorrow. That is my favorite fucking sight in the world. Your whole face just transforms, and I get to watch your brain process the fact that it’s me taking you, me owning you, me reminding you that your body and your pleasure belong to me.”

“Sloane Elise Kent, I’ve loved you for a lifetime, pretended to hate you for over a decade, and spent more than my fair share of time thinking the only thing I was destined to do in this life was want you. I used to look at it as a bad thing, but now I know it’s not. Because wanting you is the only thing that’s gotten me through living without you. It’s gotten me to this moment right here, where I can look you in the eyes and tell you that I love you and I can’t live without you. That I want your messy hair, your bare feet, your anger and heartache, your smiles and cuddles, your kisses and your moans. I want everything, including the honor of calling you my wife. Can I have that, angel?”

I remember the days I used to pray for her smiles, and now I hope I never get used to her looking at me this way. With the entire world in her eyes. With love shimmering in dapples of gold. With shadows and flames and the promise of a lifetime filled with the best kind of trouble.