Restore Me

by J.L. Seegars

“Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion.”

She smelled like heaven.

His entire being awestruck, his soul stunned into silence while she imprinted herself on his skin with her very existence.

His breath caught, and he knew at that moment it didn’t matter what kind of trouble she was looking for because he’d be it. He’d be whatever she needed him to be.

Mal can say what she wants, but I know—with an absolute certainty I can feel in my bones—working with Dominic Alexander is going to be the death of me.

Here’s the worst thing about having an enemy: they’re always in your head. Not in a good way. No. It’s more of an angry, unhealthy obsession. A think about every word they said and everything they did that pissed you off kind of madness. And once you give in to it, it doesn’t stop. Your brain just keeps going, flipping through every interaction and breaking down every minute into endless seconds that are bursting at the seams with new reasons for you to hate them.

I’m not crazy enough to believe it will happen for me twice, and I certainly don’t deserve it, not after the way I hurt Eric—letting the poison bubbling inside of me spill out and into our lives, eating through all of our happiness and joy until there was nothing left. Not even him.

You really are a sick bastard, Dom. The voice in my head quips, and I can’t argue with it. Only a sick bastard would get a kick out of insulting his best friend’s widow and take note of all the warning signs of her blazing anger with anticipation swelling in his chest.

A decent man would have noticed her discomfort and shifted to give her room, but I’m not a decent man. Not where she’s concerned.

“What she is”—he says brusquely—“is someone you will never touch again. In fact, you won’t even think about what it was like to touch her. If you do, I’ll find you and I will fucking end you.”

“Do you want me to go to jail, Sloane? Because that’s exactly what’s going to happen if I let you go and another fucking person in this shit hole touches you tonight.”

Her shrill tone makes me glad I didn’t mention the part where Dominic threatened to find and kill the man if he ever thought about what it felt like to touch me. Just thinking about the dark thread of danger that was his voice when he said those words makes my knees weak.

He touched me with a familiarity and possessiveness that wasn’t at all in line with the non-existent relationship we have.

I take a deep breath, inhaling the sweetness of her scent. This close I can finally discern notes of coconut, mango, and tangerine. Three simple fruits that wouldn’t mean a damn thing to me in any other context, but on her, it’s fucking intoxicating.

Part of me wants to say no—it only seems fair to turn down the man who made a point of ignoring me on two different fronts when all I did was thank him—but another part of me, the one that’s developed a slight obsession with the Dominic from Saturday night, is screaming yes at the top of its lungs.

Me too!

“Do I need to threaten to physically place you in my car again?” “If you do, I’ll scream bloody murder.” “It’s adorable that you think you’d be able to get a word out before your ass hits the seat.”

clock that tea!

It doesn’t help that a lot of those dreams start with me in this very seat. Letting him snake those large hands up my skirt, push my panties to the side, and sink one thick finger into my soaking wet core while he swallows my moans with his lips.

“Sure. If you keep this up though, I might have to start carrying you everywhere.”

"everywhere" as in he gone be around pookie

As far as I can tell, the only person who pisses Sloane off more than me is her mom, and I get it because that woman could give Cersei Lannister a run for her money in the cold and ruthless department.

Nice lil G.O.T. reference

Yeah, it’s been four years but is that really enough time to just completely erase someone from your life? Is it enough time for you to be thinking about kissing her throat or dreaming about tasting her on your desk?

I’m even more thankful he won’t ever know how close I am to breaking every rule in the book whenever I’m around his wife. Although, sometimes a part of me can’t help but feel like he broke them first.

Because twelve years ago, on a warm summer night in August, not much different than tonight, I held an angel in my arms and let the shadows in her eyes—the ones that fit so well with mine—convince me trouble could be a good thing. A place where love could be forged in fire and not come out in a heap of ashes. A place where twin flames could exist together without burning everything around them down. Her shadows were wrong, but I was too busy pressing a lifetime of hopes and dreams into the smooth creases of her skin with my desperate kisses and reverent touches to notice. I didn’t know then that she wasn’t mine to have. Just mine to want. To love. To wish for. To dream of while she belonged to my best friend, my brother. The one man I would never dream of hurting even though letting him have her felt like flaying myself open over and over again. Careful, angel. I think silently. You might prefer the asshole to what you’ve just awakened.

She feels like every dream I’ve ever had, every wish I’ve ever made, every oath I’ve ever sworn to keep all rolled up into one perfect being. All real, and all mine from the moment she sat her perfect ass on my lap and dared me to come and burn the world down with only her eyes.

“More, Dom.” Sloane moans into my mouth. “I need more.” “I know, baby. I know.” I want more too. I want to peel this dress off of her body with my teeth. I want to kiss every inch of her bare skin and mark her with my scent. I want to taste her and tease her while she moans my name and leaves welts in my back because it all just feels so fucking good.

“I’m glad to know you are capable of forming those words with your mouth.” “I’m capable of doing a lot of things with my mouth.”

Clock that tea!

“I think, we’re well past the point of discussing whether or not I like you. As for how you feel about me….” He starts moving, forcing me backward until my back collides with the wall. “Well, you could say you hate me right now, and I’d still want you to sit on my face.”

Even as my orgasm builds, I’m hyper-aware of the empty ache inside of me. Of the hungry clenches of my walls that won’t be satisfied this way. “Dominic, I need⁠—” “I know, angel.” He brushes his lips over mine, tasting my plea. “But I can’t give you that now. Not here.”

“You’re so beautiful when you’re about to come.” His gaze is hot on my face, molten lava that burns me up from the inside out. “I can’t wait to have you like this again, but next time you’ll be coming on my dick. Do you want that, angel?”

I can’t answer, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t need a verbal response because my body is telling him everything he needs to know.

“This feels amazing, but it’s not enough for you is it, baby? Next time we’ll have hours. I’ll strip you down with my teeth, so I can see every inch ...

All the hurt I feel, all the pain Sloane feels, lies squarely on my shoulders, and I’ll bear it because that’s what you do for the people you love. You put their needs before your own. You take the rain, so they can dance in the sunshine. You place a bandage over the gaping hole in your chest, so blood doesn’t spill on their shoes.

Would she still be saying that if she knew you were the reason Eric was on the road that day? Would she still be so supportive of you dating if she knew you were dreaming of Dominic taking her brother’s spot in your bed?

So do she remember bro?

Dominic’s eyes darken at the mention of my date and the suggestion that I’m using Ash for cuddles, or worse, sex. “I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, it’s not like I’m using him…” “Use me.”

“Oh, but I am, angel. If I wasn’t I wouldn’t be considering ripping your panties off, eating your pussy until you scream the walls down, and sending you back to your date with the juices of your orgasm running down your thighs.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to have you, including letting you use me to fulfill every need and desire you have, but that kind of privilege comes with some rules.

“You don’t know why.” He breathes, his lips moving against my inner thigh. “You don’t have to know, it only matters that you want it. And if there’s something you want—” Dark eyes flick up to mine, alight with danger and desire. “—I’m going to be the one to give it to you.”

“You’re so wet. Who’s all of that for, angel?”

Now is the time for comforting my angel and letting her know I don’t give a fuck about what she sleeps in, as long as she sleeps in it next to me.

“I could never hate you, angel,” I whisper against her skin. “I’ve always loved you too much for that.”

My best friend is happy. The woman I love is happy. I can live with a shattered heart if it means theirs get to stay whole.

Thts love!

“No, angel. I’m not feeling sensitive about it, but I am trying to resist the urge to pin you against your door and show you exactly how well my mouth works. I thought I showed you last night, but I guess you need a reminder.”

“I mean it’s not like you’ve actually, uh…finished while we’ve been together.” He gives me an amused smirk. “Don’t worry about me, angel. I’ve gotten more than enough pleasure from watching you come.”

Him fucking me from behind, his rough hands fisted in my hair as he pounds into me over and over again. The sound of his balls slapping against my ass as he bottoms out inside me with every thrust.

I take care of the things that belong to me, Sloane, and you are mine. Your smart mouth, your incredible mind, and your greedy little pussy.”

“Every part of you belongs to me, and I might not be worthy of the job, but I promise you I won’t rest until all of your needs are met. All you have to do is trust me to take care of them. Can you do that, angel?”

“I could never regret you, angel.” He pulls our linked hands up to his mouth, pressing a kiss to my fingers. “Even when you break my heart by saying shit like you hope you’re worth whatever this is costing me emotionally. Let’s be clear, whatever the price is for being with you, I’ll happily pay it. I’ll give up my soul for a moment of your time. I’ll sell everything I own for a night in your bed. There’s no sacrifice I wouldn’t make to hear you laugh, make you smile, or shield you from pain.”

“Take the skirt off. I want to see all of you.” And I want to be seen. I’ve been dying to bare myself to this man all night, and him sitting here like an impatient king demanding my nakedness only makes me want it more.

“Good girl. Now spread your legs and touch yourself. I want to see how wet you are for me.”

You make it sound like you need me. Do I have that right, Sloane? Do you need me to make you come? Am I the only one who knows how to take care of that perfect little pussy?”

“That’s it, angel. You’re so fucking wet. I wish I was inside you right now so I could feel your walls clamping down on me, rippling around my dick while you soak me in your juices. You’re going to take every inch of me, Sloane. I’m going to pound into you, and I’m not going to stop until your greedy little pussy milks me for every last drop of cum.”