The Amendment (The Arrangement, #2)

by Kiersten Modglin

My husband was a monster. It was something I’d come to accept over the years. It could also be argued, I supposed, that I was equally monstrous.

“So,” he said, obviously fighting against the joy he felt, “are we going to kill her?”

“By the time I saw you for who you were, it was too late. I had three babies with you. We had a life. A home. Friends. I couldn’t just throw that all away.

“I want to be honest with you, Ainsley, I do. I just hate myself. I don’t know how you can look at me, knowing what I’ve done. What I’ve—” She slammed her palm down on the table, startling me. “The pity party is officially over. I saved you, Peter.

“Oh, and Peter?” “Yeah?” “Are there any other secrets you need to tell me? Anything I should know?” My response was instant. A vow. A lie. “No. You know everything.” Her lips upturned into what should’ve been a smile, but looked cruel instead. “Good,” she purred. “Because if you ever lie to me again, the next body in our freezer will be yours.”

Always one crisis to the next.

“But you’re my monster. And as long as you’re completely honest with me, I’m not going anywhere.”

We look back at our lives and wonder when it all changed, but the truth is…the better question is, when didn’t it? Because we’re always changing. Life is always changing. It’s the rarer moments where things are still.

I was a fixer, after all.

These two—my wife and my friend—had enough dirt on me to send me away for the rest of my life. They were dangerous, each in their own way. Now I just needed to decide whom I was more afraid of.

“Instead of sleeping with other people, I want to help you kill other people.”

Everyone hopes their children will turn into some better version of themselves. It’s why we search for ourselves in their tiny features when they’re newborns. But to hope, like I had to, that they’d end up nothing like me, was unexpectedly painful. I guess I’d never thought about it until that moment.

“They’re children, Peter. I know you haven’t made up your mind about what I proposed, but…this is a special circumstance. You heard her, she’ll never forgive us if we tell. We have to handle this.” My body trembled with rage, my breathing erratic. My vision tunneled as I struggled to focus on him. “I physically can’t breathe until he’s taken care of.” His response came in the form of an exhale, as if he’d been waiting for me to say exactly that. “Then we’ll take care of him.”

I waited and I watched, remembering what Peter had said about killing people. Finally, I saw the appeal. It was empowering. Magical. For once, I was the whole damn world.

“One more thing,” she said, interrupting my thoughts and leaning forward over her knees. I leaned forward, too, as close as I could get to her. I could smell her scent again. I needed to find out what soap it was and stock up on it. How could I ask her without coming off creepy? “Fencing,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “It’s not really fencing, is it?” My blood ran cold.

“I think sometimes people show us who they are, and we have to choose whether or not we’re going to believe them. There’s personality, Annie, and there’s human nature. Some things can be changed. Some people can change. But some things, some things are so deep down at the core of who we are, no matter what the people around us do, nothing will change us. If Pete has shown you who he is, you have to decide if you can live with it. If he’s unwilling to change, you have to decide if you’re going to change. Because if you’re both unhappy, one of you has to.”

Things had been good once, they truly had. I wasn’t delusional. I could remember him. Before. Before it all changed. When I was the whole world to him. But we hadn’t been those people in a long time. It was time to stop kidding myself.

“Maybe I am. Maybe we both are. But you, Peter, you created this monster. And now I have to be brave enough to kill it.”

I closed my eyes, beginning to feel weak. Was I going to die from the sedative, starvation, or the fire? She hadn’t been clear. I smiled to myself despite the fear. I had to hand it to her. If there was a way to go, I guessed this was it. At the hands of the woman I’d made a wife, mother, and killer. Full circle.