Bi: The Hidden Culture, History, and Science of Bisexuality

by Julia Shaw

Most of the topics discussed in this book transcend bisexuality and teach us about the core constructs of human sex, love, and relationships. No matter who you are, I hope that this book will enrich and challenge your thoughts on these topics.

A way that bisexual researchers often talk about this is that the bi in bisexual means two, but the two are not men and women, they are same and other.

Roses are an example of a popular bisexual plant.

Ellis knew that without a discussion of bisexuality, a discussion about human sexuality was incomplete.

It has been estimated that a total of ten thousand people were detained in Nazi concentration camps because they were considered homosexual. Many didn’t survive.20 Those who did were often placed in other prisons afterward because homosexual activity remained a crime in Germany until a partial repeal of the law in 1969, and its abolition in 1994.

For many men, including even more severely for many Black bisexual men, AIDS compounded existing discrimination and stigma and led to an abandonment by both heterosexual and homosexual communities.28

This meant that in the 1980s bisexual women were not welcomed in many lesbian spaces because they were perceived as a threat to the feminist cause.

While in the US in the 1970s there were groups established in New York, Chicago, and San Francisco that also fought for bi-rights, they were primarily focused on sexual liberation. The groups established in the 1980s were focused more on women’s empowerment.

Shying away from the label “bisexual” within historical texts is an inherently biphobic practice that untethers bisexual people from their own history.

It is only when we identify, understand, and acknowledge the role of bisexuality that we can really begin to understand the beautiful complexity of human sexuality across time.

This chapter focuses on essentialism. And where better to begin than asking whether the idea that we are “born this way” even makes sense.

Perhaps instead of bisexual behavior being a fluke, it is the baseline.

Instead of searching for evolutionary reasons to justify the existence of homosexual behavior, we should be looking to justify the existence of exclusively heterosexual behavior.

I think that the fact that it is so very common shows just how evolutionarily and socially practical bisexuality is.

I now mention that I am bisexual much quicker with new colleagues or in job interviews. I mention it as an aside, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. This makes me feel empowered in my sexuality rather than treating it like it’s something icky that I need to hide. It also acts as a litmus test because if people get awkward—or worse—when I mention that I am bisexual, then that is probably not going to be a work environment in which I am going to thrive. Now that I know the freedom of bisexual authenticity at work I don’t think I’ll ever go back.

Another factor that Johnson and Grove argue is related to the elevated rates of sexual violence is a higher incidence of substance use among bisexual people.

Everything I covered in this section is intended to empower with knowledge, not debilitate with sadness. I hope these darker realities never overshadow the light that comes with bisexuality.

In queer communities, to read someone is to make an assumption about their gender or sexuality based on how they look, behave, or what they write or say. To use this in a sentence, you might say “I read her as bisexual because of that purple streak in her hair,” or “I

can highly recommend queering all TV and film. Instead of heterosexuality as default, it is way more fun to assume that everyone is queer. Assuming that characters are heterosexual until proven otherwise is just as much of an assumption. So why not flip it around?

Your sexuality is political, whether you want it to be or not.

I sometimes hear the argument that bisexual people can choose to be invisible and look heterosexual, what bi researcher Samuel Lawton calls “sexual camouflage.”

Of course, for this loophole to work people also need to see same-sex behavior as something they do, not something they are.

almost every religion has a history of persecuting queer people.

Research specifically on bisexual Christians in the UK and US, published in 2018, found that even among churches that consider themselves LGBT-inclusive there is an almost blanket erasure of bisexuality in places of worship.

Shepherd thinks that there is an urgent need to make room for dialogue about sexual flexibility and bisexuality within the church.

This means that it is the school ecosystem that sets the tone about sexuality. It’s how teachers talk about sexuality in the hallway, whether they include or exclude LGBT+ history and people from the curriculum, and the kinds of play between students that they facilitate or prevent. It’s in the between moments where kids learn what sexualities are acceptable; between lessons and lectures, between direct conversations with teachers and parents, between moments with peers.

The experience of being in a monogamous relationship is, however, completely different for bisexual people, because it typically involves a great deal of bi-erasure.

Recognizing mixed-orientation relationships creates more accurate representation and visibility of bisexual people, and such language allows us to move beyond the terminology of “gay” and “straight” relationships.28

I dream of a world where people stop asking bisexual people these questions, and instead ask themselves these questions.