When Nothing Else Matters (Heartstrings, #1)

by Katherine Jay

Why am I thinking about that, when I should think about…shit, shit. This looks bad.

Mostly, it’s getting easier to think about the good memories, but there are also times when it still feels raw, no matter how much time has passed.

He’s wrong. He has to be. Have I thought about her since Saturday night? Yes, I thought about her as a friend. Just a friend.

I mean, I’ve never had to think about someone being a friend before. They either are or they aren’t, but something about Summer makes it hard to just move on as though she’s just some random girl I chatted with at a party.

Is she talking about me? Or is it actually about her, only she doesn’t realize it?

Could this be the start of a new friendship? I think it might be.

She’s never been happier. I can’t say this enough; Nate is perfect for her. And they both light up when they see each other.

Oh, the lies we weave.

But until she’d pulled away today, I was having a fun time reminiscing with her. Well, making shit up anyway.

Why did she pull back? Did she think I wouldn’t notice? That question has been driving me mad.

but every time I looked her way, she was smiling. But was that the reason? Or was it because ...

this would be the moment we share our first kiss.

Maybe our wave at the campsite wasn’t goodbye after all.

I’m succumbing to the “want what you can’t have” philosophy.

“I tried. I really did. But Summer, I’ve never seen you so freaked out,” he says apologetically and then laughs shyly. “You know…in all the years I’ve known you.”

“If you say so. But you know I’m here for you? If you ever need me.”

“It’s our thing. How could you forget?”

Ha! I knew it. She’d been trying to get me kicked out. I can picture a wicked smile on her face, and I’m happy that I may have helped put it there.

Dammit, why do I have practice? I really want to see her right now. But, then again, when do I not want to see her?

underneath…I feel that she’s sometimes putting on a front, and I want to know everything about her. Need to know everything about her.

Again, he’s right. What’s the harm in keeping my options open? Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

How have I not been friends with this girl my entire life?

She pauses and laughs, and it’s a beautiful sound. A sound I wouldn’t mind hearing more often.

“Ah, so you’re admitting we made out. I knew it!”

What does Dylan think this means? God, why did I kiss him back? Did I just completely screw up this friendship, before it really had a chance?

It was a brief detour from our friendship, but it’s over now, and no matter what I do or don’t feel, we’ve moved on.

They can’t possibly know, can they? Am I actually going to relive it? Start over again? It’s bad enough that the rumors, as false as they are, were still floating around but…

Cory’s a lover, not a fighter.

It gave me a sense of clarity, and yet…it was a complete mind fuck. I could have sworn she felt the connection I did, that she felt the same force pulling us together, but I sensed the moment she regretted it.

but the fact that she’s here, with me, when she needs someone…It makes my heart swell, and I feel this fierce need to protect her. To pull her into my arms and tell her it will all be okay.

Would I like to pull her into my lap, frame her face with my hands and kiss her until she’s breathless? Absolutely. Will I?

No. The last thing I want is for Summer to be another one of my dating disasters, and I definitely don’t want to be just another notch on her bedpost.

She cringes at my words—whether it’s because she knows what’s coming or because she feels bad for ghosting me, I’m not sure. I continue anyway.

Why does everyone keep mentioning the relationship thing? Is it my defining feature? And why does it sound like a bad thing when she says it? When anybody says it?

The last couple of months with Summer have really cemented our friendship. I’ve seen her almost as much as I’ve seen the guys and wanted to see her even more.

Does my mind sometimes drift where it shouldn’t and conjure up images of us as more than just friends?

Yes. But would I ever do anything about i...

I respect Summer and I respect our friendship too much for that. I’d rather have her in my life ...

Is it her or me that’s changed? Has she sensed that something has changed in me so is keeping her distance? Has something changed in me?

Either way, it’s like she’s ignoring me. No, worse, it’s like we’re strangers. She hasn’t even looked my way.

Fuck! Summer comes to one game, and I’m acting like she offered me a rose and it’s time to win her heart.

Who was that? And more importantly, where did he go?

“Summer, I’d bet my life savings on him not thinking you owe him a dime, and I’ve never met him. You seem to mistakenly think it’s a hardship to care for you. Trust me, it’s not.”

“Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.”

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” fills the space as the room becomes silent.

but I feel his eyes bore into mine, like he’s singing to me, for me, maybe even about me.

“Friends, my ass,”

How much time do I give Summer before I approach?

We’ve been dancing around each other all night, and even though she’s tried to hide it, it’s impossible to miss the heat reflected in her beautiful green eyes.

I decided I was going to own my feelings. Tonight, I wasn’t holding anything back. And fuck am I happy I did, because it’s led us to this moment.