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December 7 - December 15, 2024
Without the rain, we wouldn’t feel grateful for the warmth of the sun.
happiness is subjective. It looks and feels completely different for everybody,
if there’s anyone out there feeling like they’re going through things on their own, or they don’t quite have everything figured out while everyone else around them looks like they do, or they’re worried that they’re not achieving what they should be, or feeling or looking how they should, I want this book to let you know you’re not alone.
happiness is like a leaky tyre. It deflates every so often, and you need to pump it up with what it needs to stop it deflating, then keep going.
Perfection isn’t real, it’s a construct. If it was real, we’d never feel good enough. It’s when you let go of that desperate search for perfection that you can truly start to live, and to feel a sense of happiness and gratitude about who you are and what you’ve got.
When you let go of the past, all the stuff you’ve been beating yourself up about fades away and you can start afresh. I think once I stopped raking over the coals of my life, I was able to focus on who I could be and unlock my potential,
Only take the good, supportive, encouraging people with you on your journey. They are the ones who deserve to be along for the ride.
For so long, I was made to believe that if I didn’t have a partner, or I didn’t have kids, or if I didn’t have a dream wedding, then I wasn’t a success.
Just try not to look at someone else and be jealous of what they have, or judge them for what they haven’t done, or feel inferior because their life highlights in some painful way what you think yours is missing.
When it hadn’t worked out how I planned it in my head, the prospect of putting myself out there again scared me. What do I do now? Do I have to be skint again?
I’d been out of my comfort zone for so long at uni, and I regressed once I was back in the family home.
If you hear enough times that you are a monster you start to believe it, and you start to give everyone what they expect.
We all have that really loud inner critic and we’re all so ready to believe we’re not good or worthy or deserving. But you must not listen, because when you do, the inner critic gets louder and it starts to manifest. You start to act like the worst version of you. Instead, start seeing yourself through the eyes of the people who love you, those people who care, those people who see the best in you.
Try and be more self-compassionate, commit to self-kindness instead of self-blame, and don’t beat yourself up when you feel you’re messing things up.
You are not under any obligation to be the same person you were ten years ago, ten months ago, even ten minutes ago.
build a life that works for you, not a life you think everyone else wants to see.
Life is too short not to order the cake. Eat it, enjoy it, and be kind to yourself.
Having other people negatively point out things about your body that you’re already worried about is savage; you’re never going to be able to take it on the chin, especially in your early twenties when you’re proper struggling with your identity, self-image and body acceptance in general.
‘Once you lose a little bit of weight, you’ll be fine.’ She probably didn’t even mean to make me feel rubbish, or maybe she did, but whatever the reason was, I just shrank. I went from feeling like William Large Penis, and being so proud of myself for getting out of my comfort zone and trying something new, to just feeling so small and pathetic. In one fell swoop that woman had reduced me to nothing more than a clothes size and all of my old insecurities came tumbling back. Instantly I felt fat, and not attractive enough, and wondered why any man would want to look at a photo of me in a
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scales, and if it didn’t, I knew I’d have to eat less the next day. There was nothing positive about it; it was all about control and fear and hating myself.
And I know it doesn’t come from a bad place, but it’s this ideology that’s been drummed into all of us that if you want to be healthy and happy, or attractive, you cannot enjoy your food.
So much of life is socialising and creating memories with people you love, and forging fun times as you build relationships, which is harder to do when you can’t think about anything else other than getting to the gym or the calorie content of a Twix.
Everyone deals with the pressure to look a certain way. Yes, being in the limelight exacerbated it, but we’re all faced daily with these constant images of perfection, bombarded with them on television, and in magazines, and on social media – we’re always being reminded that we don’t measure up, and being told we could be better, that someone else is doing it effortlessly while working as hard as you. You have no excuses. It feels in a way like people – and women especially – are being kept down, to doubt ourselves because that makes us weaker. We need to stop consuming this rubbish the
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when I was young, I didn’t have anyone telling me that there was more than one way to be beautiful. I didn’t have anyone telling me even if you haven’t got a washboard stomach popping out from under a crop top, you’re still worthy and wonderful.
I want young girls to know that there is not one way to be beautiful, and it is not all hinged on your physical appearance. It’s about how you make other people feel, your work ethic, your sense of humour, how you treat people you interact with on a daily basis. How you look is such a small part of your identity. You should be proud of your so-called flaws, because they make you who you are, and perfect doesn’t exist.
Having cellulite on your thighs, a breakout on your chin, bingo wings, none of these things define you – they add to your character, they make you human, they make you beautiful in your own unique way. Nobody is perfect.
Maybe you don’t yet know the power of telling yourself you’re beautiful. Please upgrade your negative narrative.
Stop swimming oceans for people who wouldn’t jump over a puddle for you
‘loneliness isn’t really about being on your own, it’s the feeling that nobody cares’,
Being surrounded by people and knowing they don’t care, that’s my definition of loneliness.
Always share what is in your heart to make a friend feel better.
Because even your own shadow leaves you in the darkness, but a real mate never leaves your side.
if you’re ever questioning if someone is a real friend, or if they deserve you going that extra mile for them, true love is about actions not words. They answer your call, don’t let it go to voicemail; they send you encouraging texts on important occasions; and they do little things to cheer you up when they know you’ve had a rough time of it, be it meeting you for a coffee, sending you a card, or planning something to look forward to.
I know some people who get so caught up in being a mother they almost lose their identities, or are so busy climbing the corporate ladder they forget to pull their friends up with them.
It’s hard, but you must close some doors if they take you down bad friendship paths.
Family is anyone that loves you unconditionally.
My dad’s disease taught me that sometimes the people you love aren’t who you want them to be, but you just have to love them anyway. And I do.
family from friends who do love and care for you. Family has very little to do with blood and a whole heap to do with who told you they loved you and proved it – remember that.
Don’t let a bad chapter in your life define your entire story
We accept the love we think we deserve.
Beyond that, you accept the love you’ve observed at ...
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No relationship is constant sunshine, but when two people share one umbrella, you can survive the storm together.
You don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. You can find love everywhere. That’s what I believe about love. Don’t settle for people who make you sad. Don’t listen to people telling you what’s right and wrong, find out what works for you and run with that. Broaden your horizons.
The future is anxiety; the past is regret; but the here and now is hope
Far from dismissing all these issues as weaknesses or failings, I can now look at them as lessons learnt, trials to help me grow as a human being and stories I get to share with others so they don’t feel alone.
You can’t outsmart your mental health. You have to understand you’re at the mercy of it. You have to be kind to your mind and body.
I have to have lists, and I have to know what time I’m being picked up, and I have to know if the photoshoot is happening or not. Otherwise, it all gets too much.
People like me and my dad can turn a couple of hours of downtime into a dark place where you’ve taken yourself on an incredibly upsetting and toxic downward spiral.
But no. If it’s not on the list, it’s not happening, sunshine.
I’ve realised, because of who I am and how my brain is wired, I have to choose the people in my life very carefully. Being wise about my relationships has been the biggest safeguard for my mental health.
