What Never Happened

by Rachel Howzell Hall

I’m old but I’ll still cut a bitch.

HA! Aunt Gwen does not play.

I don’t have the strength to trudge upstairs, find the remote control, and fall asleep on the couch while watching old Law & Order reruns. I must learn how to sleep alone—and without a TV.

I can relate to this... trauma behavior

Gwen settles on a cooking show, with two people competing against each other to ultimately beat chef Bobby Flay.

I was just watching this show

Life is a marathon, honey.

On an island with basically no Black people, this—being the Black friend—will become my every day.

It is SO LONELY being the only person of color in a small community.

Downstairs, my phone rings . . . and rings . . . and the anger I’ve boarded in my soul’s basement awakens and lifts its shaggy head.

Great description!

I can tell them a story about something that may have been so insignificant once upon a time—how their dad drank only RC Cola or Grandma fried chicken in that apron—and give it meaning, make it special. Help them see that life just doesn’t happen for no reason. Every decision affects you more than you know.”

My muscles ache from living a lifetime clenched.

This poor lady!