Save Me (WITSEC, #2)

by Ashley N. Rostek

“I want her. Even if it’s only a part of her.” Knox scoffed from where he sat behind his desk. “You sound like children negotiating over who gets to play with the toy next.”

All I had now was an empty house to return to. The only place that felt remotely like a home was when I was over at the guys’ house. The guys. Their faces popped into my head. If they were here, Colt and Creed would hold me while giving me words of encouragement, Keelan would say something to make me laugh, and Knox would push my buttons. Thinking of them, I was able to suck air into my lungs.

“Can you at least tell me how you’re feeling?” After I was dressed, I stepped into the doorway. Meeting Colt’s eyes, I leaned against the frame with my arms folded across my chest. “Too much,” I answered honestly. “I’m feeling too much.”

“Is there anything I can do?” he asked, concern furrowing his brow. “Do you need anything?” A cigarette? Alcohol? A long run that will allow me to outrun what I’m feeling? I wanted all three, but I wouldn’t tell him that.

Creed let out a tired groan. “What she needs is to get her butt in this bed so I can hold her...

“Oh, don’t feel the need to put your clothes on because we’re here,” Keelan said, reciting what I had told him the first time I’d had breakfast at their house.

“Thanks for the permission to be naked, Keelan.”

Sure, I got dirty looks from Cassy and her posse, but since I wasn’t cornered in the locker room or tossed in the school’s pool, I was going to call it a good day.

Because the fabric was form-fitting, I couldn’t wear anything underneath. I had never gone without underwear before. My mother would have killed me and my sister would have high-fived me if they had still been here.

Big houses have many faults.” Like if you scream, no one will hear you.

“That was terrible. I need something to get rid of the taste in my mouth,” I begged the guys. “Want a beer or a soda?” Colt asked. “Beer, please,” I said.

FUCKIN-A

“She was just to pass the time. When I’m with you, time doesn’t exist. There’s just you.”

I got to have my way with him until my tongue touched his. Then he took over, kissing the crap out of me. His tongue was skilled and the way it stroked mine made my thoughts wander to the memory of when he’d had it between my legs.

>:)

“You should know that since you’ve already called me your girlfriend, I’ve claimed the title and there are no take-backs.” They both smiled.

Me af

“I’m not naughty,” I protested. “You left the house without your panties, Shi.

Creed’s chest shook with silent laughter. “You’re supposed to be sleeping.” “I am sleeping,” I mumbled, burying my face in his neck. Then I ripped my eyes open. “Wait!” I lift my head off his shoulder. “I don’t want to sleep.”

Me af again

“Why take the risk of crossing a line?” “That’s a very good point. I wish my hormones understood that right now,” I said.

Physical pain always felt better than what I was feeling on the inside.

It took a moment for me to answer because I was still digesting that Knox had told them that he didn’t want me. I shouldn’t have been upset about that. I shouldn’t have because I was in a relationship with Colt and Creed. I shouldn’t have, yet my heart hurt.

“Let me just put the cake in the fridge and I’ll come back to bed.” “I can do it,” Keelan offered. “It’s your birthday cake—” “Just because it’s my birthday doesn’t mean my hands are broken,” Keelan interrupted me with a grin. “Go back to bed.”

Awwww :3

“I’m sorry you saw my vagina, Knox,” I snapped, feeling mortified. “I would appreciate it if it was never brought up again.”

you’ll find yourself in a constant state of hating the idea of tomorrow, yet hoping you’re strong enough to see it.”

My shoulders slumped. He was an overbearing, pushy butthead because he cared.

“I’m acting like a brat.” The corner of his mouth twitched. “At least you’re self-aware.”

I scowled at him. “Are you aware that you can be a real ass sometimes?” That got him to...

“We should return to the party.” “I’d rather stay in here with you,” he said, making my heart skip a beat.

Staying on my knees, I began to gather my hair on top of my head. Keelan stood from the bed and smiled down at me. “You missed some,” he said, curling a tiny chunk of hair by my ear around his finger. The bedroom door opened and Colt walked in, Knox a step behind him. They both froze, staring at us. Colt’s eyes went a little wide and Knox looked pissed. I finished getting my hair in a messy bun and dropped my hands. “What?”

LMFAOOOOO RUH ROH

“We walked in and saw you on your knees in front of Keelan.” “So? I dropped my hair tie and it rolled under your nightstand.”

Girl...c'mon now

“You thought I was about to go down on Keelan?” He rubbed the back of his head. “Well…” “You thought I would cheat on you?” I was crushed.

BRUH i cannot

“You slid into our lives like you were always meant to be there,”

If they kept saying wonderful things like that, I’d start crying.

I was a little peeved I hadn’t been included in that particular conversation. What if I didn’t want to be shared between the four of them? Not saying I didn’t.

Looooooool

I rubbed my forehead, feeling embarrassed. I hoped I hadn’t ruined Keelan’s birthday. I was trying not to let my insecurities win. I tried not to listen to them or think about how much of a crazy mess Knox probably thought I was.

AWE! I love you Shi :(

With my mind made up, I pulled out a cigarette, put it between my lips, and lit the end. I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly with closed eyes. I rested my head on the heels of my hands, hating that I loved it so much. Why had breathing become so difficult, yet pulling toxic smoke into my lungs was so easy?

BECAUSE THE SHIT FEELS SO GOOD

I knew I was using Band-Aids to cover holes in a sinking ship.

“Remember when I asked you if you would tell me when you weren’t fine?” he asked as he stared down at me with his penetrating gaze. “What did you say?” I folded my arms over my chest. “I said you’d know if I wasn’t.” He nodded. “Do you want to know one of the ways I can tell you’re not alright?” I didn’t bother asking what. I knew he was going to tell me anyway. “You don’t fight me on things as much anymore,” he said

My gaze dropped to the floor. “Maybe I'm tired of fighting.” He pocketed my keys. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

stretched his arm under my head and draped his other across my stomach. “Do you feel me holding you?” “Yes,” I said. “Do you feel safe?” “Yes.” “I want you to close your eyes, but when you do, just focus on me,” he said.

“What if I have a nightmare?” “I’ll wake you if you do, but try not to think about that. I just want you to focus on me,”

“Nothing can get to you while I’m holding you. No one can hurt you.”

Blood dripped off my face onto the wood floor by my toes. I stared at the dots, wondering if this was all I was ever going to know. Blood and never-ending pain. If so, I didn’t want to do this anymore.

“Shiloh.” His voice took on a gentleness I couldn’t stand. I closed my eyes. “Please, go.”

Could I do this? Alone, no. I was drowning alone—slowly sinking to the bottom of the ocean, because I had given up. The thought of their help was as if their hands were reaching into the water for me.

And I did love to wear dresses. They made me feel pretty

I could feel the guys watching me as my eyes repeatedly slid closed and I startled awake a minute later.

omg this is so embarrassing

I couldn’t get enough of how he reacted to me touching him. This big, strong man was at my mercy.

“Do you like touching my cock, Shiloh?” Oh, he wasn’t the one in control here. I was. And I would fight him for it if I had to. “I think you like it more.”

“You’ve thought about my cock?” I only smiled. He grinned back. “I haven’t stopped thinking about your pretty little pussy.”

“I haven’t stopped thinking about the way you looked at me,” I said. “You wanted me, and I wanted you to have me right there on that counter.”

If I could take away one good thing from today, it would be that I’d found my strength again.