Something Wilder

by Christina Lauren

“And Paris tomorrow? No, your brother absolutely did not tell me that he was sending you and a friend to Paris for your graduation gift.”

Uhm i might love him already

“Cora wanted me to let you know that she stopped by your place and got the cash you left for her.” Bradley paused, stroking his five-o’clock shadow. “I must say I’m disappointed you didn’t invite me to her graduation dinner last night,” he drawled. “Certainly one more person wouldn’t have broken the bank if you’d already invited twelve people and are flying her to Paris tomorrow.”

Where can i find me a Leo?!

“And ‘heeled boots’? Are we talking Purple Rain or construction worker?”

DIAMONDS AND PEARLS

The following year, the three of them went away again, on a road trip to Maine that Walter planned. After that, as their incomes improved, so did the trips. There had been wine tasting in Oregon and cheese making in France. They’d swum with dolphins in Ensenada and kayaked through glaciers in Alaska.

The bougiesiet men to ever walk the earth

Here was a man who once showed up uninvited for beers wearing a shirt that had a picture of a woman with a piece of tape over her mouth and the words Enjoy the silence.

Yea we gon have to get rid of him

Under his breath, Bradley mumbled, “I don’t know why you’re judging me. You won’t even tell Cora no.”

FIRST OF ALL CORA IS NOT THAT BAD

Behind them, Terry’s perpetually flushed face split into an unsettling grin before he reached forward and sharply slapped Walter on the back of the head, jolting him awake.

Side EYE

Terry freed a GPS unit from one of several cargo pockets. “We’re at thirty-eight degrees north and—” “Thank you,” Leo said dryly.

If i EVER ask someone where we are and they start giving me coordinates i will BACKHAND THEM

the vehicle came to a dusty, screeching halt only inches from Walter’s feet. “I have never been that close to pissing myself,” he whispered.

LOL

“You wore loafers to the desert?” “They’re driving shoes and they’re orthopedic,” Bradley explained. “Recommended by my podiatrist.” “A butt doctor?”

LOL OMG

“It’s a Tushy,” Walter explained, reaching for it and shoving it back inside. “A portable bidet.”

I cant stand by you when you do things like this Walter

“Games?” Terry asked gruffly. “Puzzles? What the fuck kind of operation is this?”

BLEH

He lifted his shirt, slapping his ribs. “My chest hair is growing. I can feel my fangs coming in.” Walter stuck his head out the window and unleashed a trembly roar before ducking back in, coughing. “I inhaled a bug.”

Im obsessed with this friend group

“Didn’t work out so well for him,” Lily reminded her. “Because he wasn’t a woman. Men are idiots.”

PEROIDT

Leo—the man who’d made her believe in happily ever after and then vanished without a word—was here?

*GASP* NO HE DIDNT!?!?

“I’m a Gemini and single, and I work as a pet health and wellness facilitator—” “He manages a Petco,” the Beard cut in with a sneer. “Is your name Walter?” Lily asked. He looked up at her, annoyed but confused. “No? I’m Terry.” “Then I suggest you stop interrupting and wait until the name Terry is called.

YOU GO GIRL EAT HIM UP

“How would I know what a chick likes?” he said, laughing cockily.

You said it

He ran a hand down his beard. “Do you understand how GPS works?”

I will punch you in your throat

he’d tried to reach her later, tried to fix it, but by then it was too late.

*GASP* HE DID?!?!

Walter, who had just emerged from the outhouse, didn’t seem to know what to do with his arms and settled on some kind of salute.

Lol

He bent to pick them up and froze halfway. Holy shit. “You kept these?”

Omg

The familiar, stubborn set of Lily’s shoulders creaked open a time capsule buried beneath Leo’s ribs, sending a stabbing ache through him. He reached up, rubbing the spot just beside his breastbone. He’d loved Lily so deeply that it changed his biology.

Screaming crying throwing up omg

Terry took a long pause to clear his throat and launched a thick ball of phlegm to the side.

Please be ANYONE BUT YOURSELF RN OMG

Lily ripped her eyes away just in time to catch Terry falling in a tumble and landing on his ass with a satisfyingly rough impact.

*points* HAHAHAHAHAHA LOSER

“Someone other than Terry.” He laughed at this, grabbing a pile of ham by the fistful. “Why? You afraid I might know more than you?”

EYE. ROLL.

Lily blew her whistle and the men jumped into action toward the slide puzzles. All but Leo. He carefully approached his puzzle, observing, but didn’t touch it. While the other three frantically shifted pieces, turning the board to various angles, Leo stood, staring.

I just KNOW he's hot

Walt walked to where Lily and Nicole were going over notes for tomorrow’s route. “I wanted to tell you good night and see if there’s anything I can help with before bed.”

WALTER <3

“You left a message with my father?” He nodded. “Yeah, a few, actually.” Lily’s jaw creaked open, words falling flatly out: “I never got a message. All I knew was what you told me the morning you had to leave: that your mother had been in an accident but was okay.”

I HATE DUKE

“This whole time you thought—?” “That you just never called me back.” His calm exterior broke, and he turned away from her, letting out a breath that seemed to have been trapped somewhere in his chest for the past ten years.

IM. CRYING.

She blew out a slow breath. “And you raised her.” A proud smile broke through. “Yeah.” “That must have been so hard. On both of you.” “She’s the best thing I’ve done with my life.

TEARS ARE FALLING FROM MY EYES OMG

“So, you’re saying it’s in a cave,” he detective-murmured, pretending to write this bit of information down on the palm of his hand.

Yea i love him……

“Hey, Walt.” He looked up at Leo, eyes droopy and pitiful. “My ass is crying.” And Leo’s spine felt welded in place. “It took me ten minutes to get my shirt on.” “Will I ever sit like a normal person again?” Walt asked, voice thin. “I don’t even remember how it feels to approach a chair without dread.”

I love him too

Leo wasn’t sure if he wanted the door closed. He still had so many questions about the intervening years, and part of him—admittedly a new, unsteady part—thought he might want the door blown open instead.

EXCUSE ME

scruffier than when they’d arrived, but definitely more bright-eyed than any of the rest of them. “God damn, I slept good.” When he lifted his shirt to scratch his stomach, Leo noticed the way Nicole and Lily paused to watch and felt a hot swell of irritation in his gut.

AAAAAAHHHHHH

Walt stared at the tiny box in her hand. “Our dinner is in there?” Terry rolled his eyes. “Yes, Walter, she’s planning to feed us pellets that expand into real food in our stomachs.”

Ok Terry I'll give you that one LOL

“Slime the banana,”

Ew

“Can you get that?” he said, showing Walter. Walt tried, but failed. “We need Terry’s tiny hands.”

LOL

“If a cougar gets me?” He laughed, sucking his teeth. “Come on, Nicky, you’re not that old yet.” Nicole paused, then took a step forward. Lily blocked her with an outstretched arm. “Terry, do we need to review the rules?” He laughed this off, too, taking a seat on a wide rock and nodding to Bradley. “Dude, did you buy the nagging-wife package of the expedition or what?”

Let her go. He needs to get his butt kicked

Terry bent, trying to shove it out of view, but it was obvious to everyone what had happened: He’d taken Lily’s journal.

WTF IS WRONG WITH HIM

But instead of complying, Terry wheeled on Leo, hooking a fist into his jaw. Pain cracked across the side of Leo’s face, and he stumbled back, weathering the shock and impact of the punch.

Im gonna kill him

“Man, what do you need with a gun?”

GUNS!?!? Uh uh i dont know nothin bout that

When Bradley leaned forward to look, Terry broke free of their hold, lunging for Leo. Ripping the bag from Leo’s hands, Terry backed up, pulling out the gun. Looking around wildly, he reached for Nicole, and before Leo could process what was happening, Terry roughly grabbed her arm and jerked her back against his chest.

WAIT A DANG MINUTE PANIC PANIC!!!!

But Terry was gone.

O.M.G.

“If Walt says Bradley pushed him, then that’s good enough for me. The rest of us are not taking the fall for him. Case closed!”

WHOA WHOA WHOA HE PUSHED HIM BECAUSE HE HAD A GUN!!!

“Bradley?” Leo’s voice carried a rare waver beside her. “Bradley, what are you doing, man?” The gun shook wildly in Bradley’s trembling hand as he pointed it at Nicole, Lily, then back to Nic again. “That’s not what happened, Nicole.”

Im gonna throw up

There was a tiny click followed by Walter’s quiet “Oops,” and Lily watched as Nic unsheathed her knife

WTF IS HAPPENING!?!? SOMEONE PLEASE

“Are you?”

NO!!!! IM IN THE DESERT WITH PSYCHOPATHS AND A MAN HAS FALLEN OFF A CLIFF DO I LOOK OK!?!

Nicole glared over at him. “Tell me not to hog-tie him.”

YOURE NO BETTER

In the aftermath of the chaos, adrenaline had left her weak and trembling. She couldn’t help it. She leaned back against the solidity of his chest. Without hesitation, his hand came up, wrapping firmly around her hip, steadying her.

Me too

“Do you mean the actual treasure?” Walter finally said. “The—the Butch Cassidy money?”

Dont ask stupid qauestions right now Walter