Change on the Fly (Totally Pucked, #1)

by Maren Moore

She asked for casual, but every day I find it harder and harder to be anything but all-in.

“Reed…” she warns, with a smirk, “if you keep looking at me like that, we’re never going to this secret place you keep telling me about.” “Fine. I can’t help that I want to bring you right back to bed and pick up where we left off last night.” Her cheeks redden, and I grin. “I love that I make you blush. C’mon, let’s go.”

“That’s why I wanted to surprise you with this. Holland, I’ve known your dad longer than I’ve known my own. He was there for me whenever I didn’t have a father. He’s important to me, and if I could do this for him, if you’d allow me to take care of this, it would mean a lot to me.”

“I just want you to be happy, and I want your dad to be safe and happy in a place that he loves.”

He says that Evan and me are his good luck charms.

Under the paper is a jersey with the name DAVIDSON on the back, and a note. I pick the paper up and read the messy scrawl in black ink. Beautiful, Just a little something to show you I was thinking of you. Miss you. Do me a favor and send me a picture of you wearing nothing but this. ;) Reed

Reed: Are you trying to kill me? Babe, holy shit… I’m at practice with the guys and this is not the time for a boner.

Can I swing by? I’ll bring dinner. Me: I have to study. Like actually study, Reed. Not your version where you end up doing something that distracts me and I never finish. Reed: I’ll keep my hands to myself. I promise.

I miss him.

Our rules don’t specify doing nice things for the other, but they do say no falling in love, and I am hopelessly failing. Every single day my feelings for Reed grow stronger and stronger, breaking each and every one of the rules we set. I’ll never tell him, not just because I know he won’t feel the same, but because I promised not to be a complication in his life, and love complicates things.

“Even better in person.”

Reed sets the bag of takeout down on the sofa table then walks over and pulls me to him. “I fucking can’t stop thinking about you.” He leans down and presses his lips against mine. His hands, strong and calloused, hold my back, pressing me to him. Before things get carried away, I pull my lips from his and take a step back. “You said you’d behave.” Shrugging sheepishly, he laughs. “I said I would try. I did.” “Now let me feed you.”

“Don’t care what your room looks like, babe. I’m here for you.” He smirks. “And this pizza burrito.”

He’s a drug, and I can’t get enough. Reed Davidson is the kind of man that you never forget. No matter how much time has passed.

“Do you believe in soul mates?” his deep, raspy voice asks.

“I do. It’s fascinating to think somewhere out there in the world, there’s someone made just for you. Specifically designed for you.” “Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.

“If only a good enough man for you, Holland Parker.”

We’re a team, and I’ll be damned if we don’t tackle this potty journey together.

“I did it, Weed, I did it!”

“We set these stupid fucking rules that were supposed to keep things easy. Uncomplicated. Yet, all we did was make a damn mess. And she’s perfectly fine with keeping things how they are, but I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s like every single thing I do, all I can think about is Holland.”

“You love her,” Liam says simply. “Woah, that’s a very strong word.

“I’m fucking terrified, man. Love? Love is the scariest thing in the damn world. It makes you vulnerable.”

You once told me that if I let her walk away, it would be the biggest mistake of my life. Take your own advice.”

“She’s amazing, and God, I’m crazy about her, but I don’t want to hurt Emery. I don’t want to ruin the friendship that they share. She’d never forgive me. It’s part of the reason we made the stupid rules in the first place.”

He’s right. I need to talk to Holland, and I need to be upfront with her about how these fucking rules aren’t working for me anymore. Not when all I want is to make her mine, and only mine. To have her in my arms every night, to come home to her after days on the road. I fucking love her. And I have the perfect plan to tell her.

“I have to talk to you about something.” His words vibrate against my center, and I groan in frustration. This is the worst form of torture. I lace my fingers in his hair and pull him back toward where I want his mouth, and he grins. “I rented a cabin for next week. I have a few days off for Allstar week and we're going to Kettle Moraine.. and I want you to come.” “Are we really having this conversation…. right now?” I screech.

“Reed Davidson,” I sit up on my elbows to stare down at him, “are you coercing me… by orgasm?” “I’m offended, Holland, as if I ever would.”

“Are you really going to come?” he asks. I feel his lips against the top of my head. I nod. “Not because you blackmailed me with an orgasm but because Emery already asked me and threatened bodily harm.”

Reed scoffs. “So all of that and you already were going to come?” “Yep. But you were so committed, I didn’t want to stop you.” He laughs. “Such a sacrifice.”

“Not this again.” His eyes shine mischievously. “Better have that red lace in there that I love so much.” I roll my eyes. “Let’s go, Casanova.”

“You know, don’t tell Emery I said this, but I think Reed is seeing someone,” Kathy says from behind me.

Whipping around, I clear my throat nervously. “Why would you think that? It’s Reed,” I stammer.

“I know my boy. Perks of having boys, they’re mama’s boys. I know him like the back of my hand… it’s just a feeling I get.”

“I’m hoping he does settle down. He’s not getting any younger, and if he could find someone that loves him and Evan… it’s all I wish for my baby boy. To find love and happiness. In his profession, it’s hard to determine who is genuine and not just out for the perks of being married to a hockey player. I think that’s part of his problem, he has a hard time finding a genuine connection to anyone because of it.” She looks up at me and smiles. “Sorry, I’m rambling, I just haven’t ever seen him so happy. I can’t help but wonder if it’s something more than just Evan.”

“What’s wrong, baby?” I ask. I know Holland. I’ve known her since she was the shy, nerdy little girl who was best friends with my sister and lived next door. And in the last six months, I’ve spent every bit of free time with her and Evan, getting to know the parts of her I only saw from a distance, and I know her. Like the back of my hand. Better than I’ve known anyone before.

She’s been quieter, withdrawn, and she’s keeping me at an arm’s length. Completely unlike her, and I haven’t wanted to press or make her feel like I was suffocating her. Especially because of these damn rules.

Holland looks up at me, tears shining in her deep blue eyes. “I can’t do this anymore, Reed.” Her words are merely a whisper, but they pack more ...

It feels like a bucket of ice water has been dumped over my head. My fucking ...

She lifts a shaky hand and covers her mouth as tears fall from her eyes. Seeing her cry is like a knife to the heart. A white hot, brutal pain that I feel deep in my chest. I want to pull her into my arms, and say fuck the world, but it isn’t that easy. None of this is.

“I can’t lie to Emery anymore. I can’t keep secrets from my best friend. I can’t pretend any longer.”

“I can’t pretend that this arrangement is working anymore. Those rules… they were never going to work. I should’ve known that before I agreed to this. I can’t pretend that I don’t have feelings for you any longer, Reed.”

“God, talking to your mom tonight… Reed, she thinks you're seeing someone. She said she’s never seen you so happy. You deserve someone you can be with, out in the open, not in secret.”

“She’s right. I’ve never been happy this way. Fuck, I’ve never felt like this ever. And it’s terrifying. I’ve heard about this. From my teammates, my friends, from Liam. About how it feels to love someone.”

“That falling in love is the greatest feeling in the world, and they’re not wrong. But it’s also scary. That’s the part that no one tells you about. The vulnerable, raw part of you that you’re putting in another person’s hands and praying that they love you for who you are. I love you, Holland. I am in love with you.”

“I am not sorry for falling in love with you. I’m sorry that I had to do it in secret, when all I want to do is shout it from the rooftop of the tallest building in the whole damn city. I fucking love you, Holland. I thought I could never love anyone, that I was broken, that I was messed up from my father, but then you showed me otherwise. You and Evan are the only future I see. Those feelings you have? Baby, I feel them too and I have for a long time. I should’ve told you sooner, but I wasn’t ready to be honest with myself, or with you. I had to figure it out the hard way.”

I press my forehead to hers. “I can’t go back, Holland. I can’t go back to the way things were before. Not when I know what it’s like to love you.” She nods against me. “I… I love you too, Reed.” It’s heaven hearing her say it. A heaven I never thought I’d be worthy enough to enter.

Without another thought, I capture her lips with mine, kissing her with every ounce of love that I’ve been holding inside for months. I want everyone to know. This is my girl. Mine. She pulls on my hair as I kiss her breathless, and my tongue tangles with hers. I wrench my lips from hers to stare into her stormy eyes.

“I made new rules for us. In my head, I’ve been going over them every time I thought about how to tell you this. To tell you that I fell in love with you despite those damn rul...

“One: Fall in love every day. Never stop showing you how much you mean to me, and giving you reasons to fall in love with me.”

She covers her mouth and she squeezes her eyes shut as her mascara runs down her face. God, even now, she’s fucking beautiful.