Heart-Shaped Box

by Joe Hill

“Stick with eBay. Accept no substitutes.”

“You know how people pay more money to buy furniture that’s been roughed up a little? What do they call it? Things that have been distressed? That’s because something that’s seen a little wear is just more interesting than something brand-new that hasn’t ever had a scuff on it.” “That’s me,” she said. “Attractively distressed.”