She had spent a long time—months, the better part of a year—trying very hard not to have any feelings at all, except for anger, which was highly motivating, after all. And now that she no longer had a reason to be so ruthless with herself, all her emotions came rushing back uncomfortably, like sensation returning to a limb. With those feelings came a wave of—of affection, of fondness, of something terribly like fascination with the man beside her. She wanted to shove it far away, back where she had been keeping all the other things she didn’t want to feel, but it was too late for that.
