Swoon

by Lauren Rowe

Stop it, Colin. Why am I even looking at my ex’s photos, when I don’t even want her anymore? If Kiera dropped out of the tour and begged me to take her back, I’d say no. And I’d mean it. Admittedly, I was heartbroken for about a month after she dumped me, but after my initial feelings of rejection and humiliation wore off, I realized Kiera had done me a huge favor by ending our longtime on-again-off-again relationship. I realized I hadn’t been mourning the loss of Kiera, per se, but the loss of the last-ever girlfriend who’d known me before my band hit it big.

Colin still mourning the breaknup??? Or just remembering shebwas his befor the Goats made it?

I laugh. “I’m the one who won the lottery. If it weren’t for my friend, I wouldn’t be in 22 Goats today.” “What?” “In eighth grade, he overheard two kids we didn’t know in the grade below us, talking about needing to find a drummer for the band they were starting. Logan hooked me up, and the rest is history.” “Holy shit. Your whole life might have been different if he hadn’t overheard that conversation!”

Wow thank you Logan

Honestly, I’d much rather have an amazing girlfriend, than sleep with a succession of groupies. Unfortunately, I’ve discovered that finding true love is a lot easier said than done.” “What? Dude, you’re the drummer of 22 Goats!” “That’s the problem. I live in LA. Everyone I meet there is an aspiring model, actress, singer, or influencer who thinks hooking up with the drummer from 22 Goats will somehow boost her career.” “So what? If a woman wants to use you for your connections or money or whatever, let her try. Doesn’t mean you have to let her succeed.” I press my lips together and look out the car window at passing traffic. Dudes who’ve never been in my shoes always think that way. But they couldn’t be more wrong about the realities of my situation. The toll it takes on a person to constantly feel like a mark. To never know if you can completely trust someone. Or worse, to trust someone and find out you were wrong to do it.

Colin wants a real relationship nobody using him to advance their careers

“The good news is, with that guy off the market, the world is your oyster.” “Yeah, but I’m not a god,” I tease. “You’re a demi-god, though.” We both laugh. “You really are the best hype-man, ever, Timothy. May I call you that?” “Please do.” His eyes crinkle in the rearview mirror with his smile. “Chin up, Colin. Your dream girl is out there, waiting for you to find her. She might even be at the wedding tomorrow. A bridesmaid, maybe? Bridesmaids are notoriously horny at weddings.” “They are?” “Of course! They’re all dressed up, drinking champagne. They’ve just watched their bestie exchanging romantic vows of forever. Weddings are the best aphrodisiacs in the world!”

Tim trying to cheer Colin up with thoughts of horny drunk bridesmaids LOL

I don’t remember the walk to school. All I remember is Logan ditching my whimpering ass in the hallway once we got there. Knowing Logan, I’m sure he left me right outside my classroom doorway, but it felt like Siberia to me. Which is why I started to whimper and freak out. And that’s when Colin swooped in to save the day. As Logan ran away, presumably headed to the playground for some fourth-grade “me time” before the first bell, Colin grabbed my hand and led me into my classroom, straight to my new teacher. “Take extra good care of her,” I remember Colin saying to the pretty lady with bright lipstick. “Amy’s really sensitive.”

Aww Colin was Amy's first crush and her hero from then on

But then, seven months into my job on the world tour, my future sister-in-law, Kennedy, called to tell me some shocking news: Colin had not only RSVP’d yes to her upcoming wedding with my brother, he’d not only agreed to serve as one of Logan’s groomsmen, but he’d also RSVP’d for only one!

Wow Amy will get to see Colin in person and he hasn't got a date coming

Obviously, Kennedy and I realized Colin being suddenly single didn’t guarantee he’d feel attracted to me during the wedding weekend. But, still, I can’t deny we were both excited about our discovery, because it meant I stood a snowball’s chance in hell with him! Not great odds, but better than nothing.

Hope springs in their hearts

If I could have custom-ordered Colin’s facial expression in this moment, I couldn’t have improved on this one. Colin looks me up and down during our short walk, and when we reach the end of the aisle and come to a stop behind the already mingling crowd, he exhales, runs his hand through his dark, tousled hair, and blurts, “How the hell are you Amy O’Brien?” A few nearby people swivel their heads toward him, at which point Colin realizes he’s loudly blurted the word “hell” in a church—which, not surprisingly, makes both of us burst into laughter.

Colin shocked and being his usual self LOL

“Thanks for helping me out with Luke. He always comes straight for me.” “Not my first time at this particular rodeo, sis,” Colin says. “I used to do the same thing for Caitlyn and Chiara, once I got big enough to pass as their boyfriend.” Seriously? That’s three rapid-fire references to Colin thinking of me as his little sister in the space of as many minutes! Okay, Colin, I get the message, loud and clear.

Aww Colin put Amy back in the little sis / off limits zone ;-(

I’m a monster for noticing those mouthwatering beauties. Surely, I’m going to hell for all the little peeks I’ve stolen of them during this short drive. But, come on, how could I not peek at them? If they were attached to anyone else but Logan’s little sister, I’d already have hit on Amy, hard, with the intention of getting those perfect beauties out of that push-up bra and straight into my hungry mouth, as soon as possible. In fact, the minute I laid eyes on Amy in the church, before I knew who she was, I thought, “Here’s hoping that Uber driver was right about bridesmaids being hella horny.” Fuck.

Colin agrees with his Uber driver now LOL

Amy’s green eyes bug out. “What?” “Yep. At this point, I bet Reed would love for the whole world to know he was eating his fiancée’s pussy backstage at an RCR concert, while C-Bomb was doing his mighty best to get her into his bed.” Amy guffaws. “How’d Caleb take it when you told him Reed had swooped in on the reporter?” I ask. “Oh, he was pissed as hell. But, thankfully, not at me. Caleb was surprisingly nice about it when I told him.

OMG poor Caleb shot down by Reed

“When they offered me the gig, it felt like a giant ‘fuck you’ to everyone who’d ever made fun of me.” “I hope every one of those bullies feels like an asshole now.” I can’t help smiling from ear-to-ear. “One of them contacted my manager a while back, asking him to ask me for tickets to a sold-out show. He was like, ‘I grew up with Colin! Tell him the old neighborhood is proud of him!’” “What’d you do?” “Told my agent to tell the guy to fuck off.” Amy cackles. “Atta boy!”

Amy proud of Colin's accomplishments

“Have you asked Caleb to hire you? That seems like a logical place to start a job search.” “I did. Unfortunately, he said he’d rather shove bamboo shoots under his fingernails than have me ‘bugging him all the time to be a better person’ while he’s ‘trying to relax like a sloth’ at home.” She giggles. “Luckily, he also said he’d ‘never forgive me’ if I worked for anyone else, when he goes back on tour. So, at least I know I’ll get to work for him again, one day.”

Caleb need a break from Amy LOL

“Oh! Wait! I just realized something else I can do to help you. Duh.” I palm my forehead. “You can work for me!” “What?” Amy shrieks. “Only for a week,” I quickly clarify. “I’m gonna be shooting a small role in a movie for a week in LA, beginning a week from Monday, and my contract says I can have a personal assistant on-set on their dime. Someone they supply to me or someone of my own choosing. So, duh, why don’t I tell them I choose you?” Amy hurls herself at me like a missile, shrieking hysterically. And the minute Amy is in my arms, I feel a tidal wave of affection for her—a rush of the same sort of adoration I always felt for her when we were kids. Except this time, of course, my affection is accompanied by something new—unmistakable arousal triggered by the crush of Amy’s perfect, bountiful tits against my chest.

Having Amy as his PA could be challenging LOL

“No need to thank me,” I say, sounding remarkably calm. “I’m not the one who’s going to pay your salary, remember? Which, by the way, will almost certainly be total shit.” “I’d do the job for free!” Amy sings out, before doing a little shimmy that makes my tingling dick begin to thicken. Shit. “Why don’t you stay at my place that week?” I say, even though I probably shouldn’t. “I’ve got a guest room. Why not?” You know why not, my brain answers. Shut the fuck up, my hard-on replies. Amy thanks me again, just as a car horn blares in passing.

Colin going to geting in way too deep really quickly LOL

“Did you see the look on Luke’s face when I said I’ll be working for you?” Amy whispers excitedly in the doorway. “He looked like a toddler denied a cookie!” With a happy little evil laugh, Amy enters the restaurant and I follow. But I can’t agree with her assessment. Nope. Luke didn’t look like a toddler denied a cookie a minute ago. On the contrary, he looked to me like a man who just figured out the woman he’d set his sights on is way, way out of his league.

Luke shuffled out of competion by Colin's moves

Amy looks at me, her eyes like saucers. Blushing, I murmur lamely, “I like animals.” “I swear, though, Colin only ever did that kind of thing for you,” Mom says. “Otherwise, I guarantee we wouldn’t have been able to pry that money out of Colin’s cold, dead fist.” “Mom!” I say, as my stepfather chuckles next to her. My stepdad wasn’t around during my childhood. He came along after Amy had already moved away. But clearly, he’s thoroughly enjoying my mother’s diabolical machinations. He’s a smart man, my stepfather. Surely, he knows what his wife is trying to do—because I sure as hell do. “And do you remember the time you ‘ran away’ from home, when you were just a tiny little thing?” Mom asks. “Enough, Mom,” I interject. “Please.”

Mom getting on Colin's last nerve with her overshating stories...

“And what did I see a little while later, but Colin escorting you home. He had your suitcase in one hand and your tiny hand in the other, while you clutched your beloved dolly. And I thought, ‘What is it about that little girl that’s turned my moody boy into a big ol’ pile of mush?”

Aww how sweet mush man!!!

Mom leans her hip against the kitchen counter and crosses her arms over her chest. “And what if I was? You two would make an adorable couple.” “She’s Logan’s little sister! Every story you told should have made it abundantly clear to you she might as well be my little sister, too!” Mom drops the ‘innocent act’ on a dime, instantly revealing the diabolical creature behind her mask. “When you were kids, yes. Which was age appropriate. But you’re not kids anymore, and I could plainly see you have incredible chemistry with her.” “Butt out, Mom.” “Colin, she’s had a crush on you since she could walk! Literally. And we all know you’re the absolute worst at figuring out and then expressing your feelings! So, I thought I’d pitch in and help you both out.”

Mom gets points for calling bullshit on Colin LOL

“Don’t you dare pretend you haven’t noticed how pretty Amy’s become.” “She’s very pretty, yes. But, like I said, she’s like a sister to me.” Mom’s face turns downright wicked. “My darling son, if you looked at Chiara and Caitlyn’s boobs the way you kept staring at Amy’s tonight, I’d beat the living crap out of you.” My breathing halts. Did I seriously ogle Amy O’Brien’s tits in front of my mother and stepdad tonight? Holy shit. I really am a monster!

LOL mom pretty blunt!!!

Mom’s eyes become lasers. “You’re saying you felt no physical chemistry with Amy tonight?” My pulse is thumping in my ears. “That’s right.” Mom narrows her eyes even more. “Well, great. I suppose that’ll come in handy when Amy stays at your house for almost two weeks—at your generous invitation.” “Did you not hear she’s going to work for me? Of course, I offered her my guest room, when we’re going to be driving to the same place every day.” “You’re seriously trying to convince me you’ve offered to help Amy find a job, and offered her a place to stay, for no other reason than because she’s like a little sister to you?” “Mm-hmm. That’s right.” Mom cocks her head. “Is that also why you asked Amy to be your date to Laila’s star-studded birthday party, as well—because she’s like a sister to you?” Mom’s dark eyes are boring holes into my face like she’s got X-ray vision. So I know, from past experience, I’ve got to give this bloodhound something, anything, to throw her off the scent.

Mom keeping score...poor Colin

“All right, darling,” Mom says. “I’ll stay the fuck out of your ‘shit,’ assuming everything you said is true. I’m not entirely convinced of that, but I’ll play along for now, if you promise me something.” I sigh. “What?” “Stop leading that poor girl on.” “Excuse me?” Mom’s dark eyes blaze. “Colin Michael, you were staring at Amy’s chest throughout our entire conversation. Laughing at every mildly amusing thing she said. You were absolutely entranced by that woman, and everyone in the room could plainly see it, including Amy. So, if you’re sincerely only interested in that poor girl as a little sister, then pull your shit together and tell your dick to take a back seat and stop giving her mixed signals. Because the way you were looking at her tonight would make any ‘little sister’ think her benevolent ‘big brother’ was thinking awfully hard about incest!” As my jaw drops, Mom leans forward and points her finger at me. “Don’t you dare lead that girl on, Colin Michael, or I swear, I’ll not only stay the fuck in your ‘shit,’ I’ll also beat all your fucking ‘shit’ clean out of you!”

Oh he's in trouble ....mom pulled out the middle name LOL

“Look, man, I know you thought you were helping Amy out,” I say, “but you have no idea what a hit that poor girl’s confidence took when nobody hit on her for the rest of the tour. Amy spent the next nine months thinking she’s not fuckable enough to get hit on.” Caleb’s snorts. “Quite the opposite. Who wouldn’t want to get with a sweet, goofy little born-again virgin who makes the silliest facial expressions you’ve ever seen in your life?” “Oh my God! Amy’s facial expressions!” “Hilarious.” “Right?” We both laugh. “Poor Amy,” I mutter. “Hey, would you mind me telling her what you did to her after the game? I’m sure she’ll be relieved to know. Not to mention pissed as hell.” “Go ahead. As long as you explain I did it for her, not to her. I did that girl a solid.” “She won’t see it that way.”

Aww C-bomb is a secret nice guy

Instantly, I realize: This is how Colin would react to me walking down the aisle toward my future husband, whoever he might be. And for some reason, that’s a startling epiphany. Why do I keep swooning over a man who doesn’t, and never will, swoon back? If I want to have any hope of finding my person and being in Kennedy’s shoes one day, then I need to quit reacting like I always do when it comes to Colin, starting now. Once and for all. Yes. What a relief to know my brain has finally gotten the message, loud and clear.

Message received but...

Swoon. “Thank you. So do you.” I link my arm in Colin’s—swoon—and catch a whiff of his cologne—swoon—and practically dance down the aisle with him, buoyed by the cheers and applause all around us. And as I walk with Colin, my arm in his, his cologne in my nostrils, his sex appeal wafting off him like a physical thing, and his smile constantly directed at me, I can’t, for the life of me, remember a damned thing I promised myself only a few minutes ago.

Poor Amy has it bad for Colin

Me: Hey, Colin! It’s time to get your hot ass to my room to do everything you promised after our kiss. Eat my pussy and do The Sure Thing to me, baby! Fuck my brains out until we see God! Our amazing kiss fulfilled my biggest childhood fantasy about you. Now it’s time for you to fulfill my far more ADULT fantasies about you. Room 709. I’m waaaaaaaiting.

OMG she gave him the wrong room number LOL

“You chug-a-lugged when we got to the room. You seemed a bit stressed.” “Mm-hmm.” I squint at her. “Please tell me I don’t have a Sharpie mustache and beard right now.” “You don’t. But only because Fish forgot to pack a Sharpie.” “Small mercies.” I rub my forehead as pain rips through my cranium. “Ugh. I feel like I’m dying.” “Coffee?” she says sweetly, motioning to the carafe. “Thanks. And a huge glass of water.” “Sure thing.” She brings me the beverages and takes an armchair next to me. “Is Amy coming to brunch?” I take a sip of coffee. “I don’t know.” “You don’t know?” Ah, there it is. Somehow, I’ve pissed her off in relation to my treatment of Amy. “I haven’t talked to Amy since last night, I don’t think—since leaving the wedding reception and coming up here.”

Yep Violet is angry with Colin

“I fucked up, okay?” I bellow, to the detriment of my own cranium’s comfort. “I kissed her on the patio, while Fish and Ally were singing their duet, and it was a huge fucking mistake!” Violet looks confused. “Why is that a fuck-up? Amy is adorable and obviously thinks you walk on water. God knows why. And everyone could see how much fun you had with her.” “She’s Logan’s sister. Off-limits. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

Well now Violet knows he kissed Amy

Violet crosses her arms. “Listen to me, Colin. It’s imperative you do something extremely un-Colin-like and tell that sweet girl exactly what you’re feeling, even if it’s going to hurt her feelings. Better to hurt her now and tell her, honestly, you’re just not feeling it, rather than stringing her along and giving her hope. The worst thing in the world is having feelings for someone and getting just enough positive feedback to make you keep holding onto hope, when in fact, there’s none to be had.” I press my lips together but say nothing. “Promise you’ll be completely honest with her,” Violet says. “Let her down easy this morning, if you’re not feeling it. It’s obvious she likes you. Don’t toy with her emotions, if you don’t feel the same way.”

But Violet he's not sure how he feels

“Colin Beretta.” I sigh. “I blew it, Violet. I said a bunch of dirty stuff I wanted to do to her, including The Sure Thing.” Violet gasps. “And then we ran into our mothers, and I realized my mistake and sprinted away like a bat out of hell.” “And came up here, without talking to her again? Colin! You’re telling me that’s the last thing Amy heard from you last night—you whispering a whole bunch of dirty-talk into her ear after kissing her?” I nod sheepishly. “Colin Beretta! You’re a goddamned prick!” “I know. I told you I fucked up!”

Violet going to kick his ass and rat him out to the Goats @#$%

“I know, Vi. But, hey, on the bright side, Amy and I were both really drunk when we kissed. Maybe she was so drunk, she won’t even remember anything that happened on that patio last night. The kiss. What I said after it. The fact that I ran away like a douchebag. Maybe she’ll wake up and not remember any of it.” I look at Violet hopefully, but she shakes her head with disdain. “I wouldn’t count on that.” I rub my face. “A boy can dream.” “I think you mean a douchebag can dream.” “Tomato. Tomahto.”

Snowball chance she won't remember

Oh my God. I remember now! I saw both these texts last night, right after her second one landed on my screen! In a flurry of memories, I remember myself grabbing the bottle of tequila I’d been chugging and sprinting out of this suite like my pants were on fire, headed straight to Amy’s room. Or so I thought. When I got to my destination, some old lady, not Amy, answered the door and started yelling at me for waking her up. And that’s when I bolted away with my tail between my legs, not bothering to grab the tequila bottle I’d dropped in the hallway in my shock. But that’s the last thing I remember. The next thing I knew, I was waking up on this couch.

Yep, he woke some poor lady but Amy didn't open her door then

“I already told them everything,” Violet says with a wink. “Of course, you did.” I put down my coffee cup. “Everyone be chill if I come back here with Amy, okay? Act like you did with her at dinner last night.” “We’re not the ones who kissed her and told her about The Sure Thing and woke up to regret it,” Dax says. “We’ll be perfectly comfortable around Amy. She’s a sweetheart.” “I’m sad you’re not planning to date her,” Alessandra says. “She’s so nice.” “I already like her better than you,” Fish adds, smiling at me. I roll my eyes. “This isn’t the sort of thing that gets put to a group vote, dudes.” “Maybe it should be,” Violet retorts. “If you’d put Kiera to a group vote, I guarantee we could have saved you a whole lot of time, my friend.”

LOL good shots...kick a guy when he's down

“I hope that doesn’t freak you out to hear, since I’m like a sister to you,” I add, and somehow keep myself from snickering as I do. “But that kiss was so incredible for me, I had a sex dream about you this morning and woke up having a real-life orgasm.” “Uh . . .” “That’s a first for me! Awesome, right? Ha! I guess that means, whether you like it or not, you’re the first man to give me an orgasm. Whoops. Don’t worry, brother, I’ll take that naughty little secret to the grave.” I wink and then pivot like I’m going to leave the doorframe, but quickly return to his shocked face. “Oh! Also, thank you for telling me about The Sure Thing. Thanks to you, I watched Ball Peen Hammer’s video about it on repeat and now I’m super pumped to find someone to try it out on me. Someone who gives me fireflies when he kisses me. I know that someone won’t be you, of course. I fully accept that. But now that I know about that video, I can show it to whichever lucky guy I decide to have sex with next.”

Now he's going to watch some other guy help Amy with her list ;-) points to Amy

“Lemme show you the room I’ve got for you.” We cross the hall and enter my guest room, and Amy oohs and aahs, yet again. When she notices a bouquet of lilies sitting on the dresser, she squeals. “Lilies are my favorite!” she says excitedly. “Yeah, I know. That’s why I got them.” She looks shocked. “How did you know I love lilies?” “I overheard your conversation with Alessandra at the wedding. And I know your mother always had fresh flowers in your kitchen, so I thought having fresh flowers in your room—your favorite kind—would make you feel at home.” I’ve rendered her speechless. Shit. Were the flowers a misstep? Too much? I was only trying to welcome her. Let her know I’m excited she’s here. But I think maybe in my effort to erase the awkwardness I felt during brunch last weekend, I quite possibly over-corrected.

Aww he got her fav flowers for her room

But ultimately, I tell Amy the guest list for tonight’s party, as far as I know it, concluding with, “And of course, Savage’s bandmates will all be there.” Amy’s face lights up. “All of them, you think?” “As far as I know.” “Their drummer?” My heartrate increases, slightly. “I assume so. Kendrick is Savage’s best friend and a good friend of Laila’s.” Amy smiles broadly but says nothing, and the hair on the back of my neck stands up. Kendrick Cook is a good-looking guy. A badass drummer. Also, single, as far as I know. He’s got game, but he’s not a douchebag. In other words, he’s perfect for Amy. Uh oh.

Amy has a thing for drummers ;-)

Shower. My brain shows me Amy’s wet, naked tits in the shower. They’re pink from the hot water. Glistening and mouthwatering. “You want a cocktail?” I choke out. “I’m gonna make myself one.” “Great. Surprise me. You can leave it on the dresser for me, if I’m still in the shower when you come back, and I’ll enjoy it while getting dressed.” Shower. Enjoy. Naked. Tits. In a flash, I see myself getting into that shower with Amy. Sinking to my knees, eating her pussy and making her come, while hot water rains down on my head. I imagine myself pulling her from the shower and laying her wet body down on the bed mere inches from where she’s standing now, and doing The Sure Thing to her, until she’s speaking in tongues. “Sure thing,” I whisper hoarsely. And when Amy arches her perfect eyebrow, I quickly add, “One surprise cocktail and one suitcase, coming up.”

Oh she's loving the looks on his face... tormenting Colin is so much fun

I can’t help laughing. “That’s the perfect description of me as a kid.” “And look at you now,” Keane says. “You’ve got the red hair to make my nickname a premonition.” “So sorry, Amy,” Maddy says, but she’s clearly loving her husband’s sense of humor. “No worries,” I say. “Considering what a little weirdo I was as a kid, I think I got off easy with that nickname.” “You were a cute little weirdo,” Keane says, and warmth spreads into my core. I knew I liked this man, after watching him online for hours and hours. But just this fast, I know I absolutely adore him.

Aww Keane nicknamed Amy

“Jackson, this is Auntie Amy. Say hello.” “Hello, Auntie Amy.” Oh, my heart. Without hesitation, I launch into conversation with the kid about his cool light-up shoes. But when the FaceTime call ends and Fish takes a seat—an armchair—Jackson abruptly stops talking to me, slides off his mommy’s lap, and beelines over to his Uncle Fish’s lap. “Don’t be offended he dropped you like a hot potato the minute Fish’s lap became available,” Violet says, laughing. “Jackson’s been obsessed with his ‘Unkie Fish’ since day one. When Jackson toured with the Goats as a baby, Fish was the only one who could get him to fall asleep for two solid months.” “Aw, that’s so cute.”

Jackson's fave Unkie Fish

You won’t believe what your body can do when your partner knows what he’s doing.” Again, Alessandra nods. But the poor girl looks like a vine-ripened tomato at this point. “Thanks for the info,” I say, trying to sound calm. When I raise my drink to my lips, my hand is shaking so violently from adrenaline and excitement, I have to quickly put down my cup to keep from spilling. But it’s too late. Both women have noticed me wigging out and are now buckled over laughing.

Amy and Ally tomato red LOL I would be too

Colin rolls his eyes at whatever he sees on my face. “Amy, don’t think twice about this, okay? Laila and I are friends. We’re signed to the same label. I was newly single and heartbroken, and I figured, Why not see if something could happen here? But I’ve never even kissed Laila and I’m certainly not sitting around pining for her, if that’s what you think.” “Why would I care if you’re pining for Laila?” I say. “We’re nothing but friends, right? You can pine for whoever you want. It’s none of my business.” The group collectively shifts their weight. Some people look at the ground. Others shoot death-glares at Colin. Some simply clear their throats. But every single person looks painfully uncomfortable. Fish speaks first. “Tonight’s the first time our group will be hanging out with Savage and Laila, as a couple, so Colin figured—” “I know what he figured,” I say. “That it’d make things less awkward if he showed up tonight with a date.” I gasp, as yet another epiphany strikes. “The ‘date’ he was seen canoodling with on Instagram last weekend!”

Fish is going to get a stern talking to later...LOL

In response to me glaring at Colin, and Colin therefore glaring at him, Fish throws up his arms and shouts at Colin, “How was I supposed to know you hadn’t told her?” “Don’t you dare be angry with Fish for telling me the truth,” I say to Colin. “He didn’t blow it by being honest with me. You blew it by not being honest.”

Amy upset with Colin yet again...

Violet, Fish, and Alessandra are all looking at me like, You tell him, girlie, while Dax is looking at Colin, like, Dumbass. Which means there’s not a single facial expression in the group that makes me feel like I’m out of line or overreacting. And so, I persist. “As a favor to you, I’ll play the part of your ‘date’ tonight, when we arrive at the party. And I’ll keep doing it until we’re sure Laila and Savage have seen us together. But after that, all bets will be off, my friend. After that, I’m going to mingle like the extremely single woman I am. Who knows? I might even meet a nice drummer who has a thing for redheads.”

The gang sides with Amy and NOT their friend

For the first hour, I managed to remain pretty chill watching Violet introducing Amy around. But when Violet introduced Amy to our good friend, popstar Aloha Carmichael, who then escorted both women over to Kendrick Cook, who’d prior to then been chatting in a corner with his brother, Kai, almost all semblance of chill left my body. Still, even then, I was able to cling to a shred of my chill. But no more. Not since Violet, Aloha, and Kai drifted away, leaving Kendrick and Amy chatting alone, their faces mere inches apart, their demeanors flirtatious. Yeah, that’s when I flipped my motherfucking lid. Inwardly, anyway. I haven’t left my spot or moved a muscle, other than breathing, clenching my teeth, and sipping my drink, for the past twenty minutes. But inside, I feel like a volcano on the bitter cusp of eruption. Kendrick seems so nice in all his interviews, Amy said. What interviews?

The green eyed monster on little sister watch...Amy enjoying tormenting Colin with another drummer

Interviewer: What about you, Kendrick? Who’s your celebrity crush? Kendrick: Hmm. I guess maybe Amy Adams. Kai: What do you mean you ‘guess’? After you saw her in Enchanted as a kid, you wanted to grow up and marry her. Enchanted was your first foray into porn, dude. Kendrick: He’s not wrong. The only reason I hesitated is I couldn’t decide between Amy Adams and Emma Stone. When I saw Emma in Superbad, it was love—lust—at first sight. Interviewer: Ah, you’ve got a thing for redheads. Kendrick: Guilty as charged. But not just any redhead. The most irresistible combination to me is red hair, light eyes, a killer smile, and a goofy personality. If ever I find all that in one person, I’ll be putty in her hands. Kai: Dude, don’t lie.

Kendrick has a thing for red heads ;-)

So, yes, I told Kendrick about my sexual history and asked him if he’d be willing to be my teacher this week, every night after I get off work with you, no strings attached. And Kendrick said he’d be ‘honored and thrilled’ to do that with me.” My lip twitches as I try not to smirk too wickedly. “Not that any of that is of your concern, brother. If Logan were here, I certainly wouldn’t tell him any of that. So, I don’t see how—" Colin’s lips crash into mine. His tongue finds mine as his muscled arms snake around my waist and pull me to him. And just like that, every atom inside me explodes with relief and excitement and white-hot lust. Out of nowhere, Colin leans back and holds my face, firmly in his palms. “I’m gonna be your teacher every night this week—no strings. I want the same deal you offered to Kendrick, Amy.” I nod effusively. “Yes.”

Well the make Colin jealous ploy worked!!!!

And what about the absolute best part of the party? Namely, the tortured look on Colin’s face when I started flirting with Kendrick! Ha! I thought the top of Colin’s head was going to pop right off! I was genuinely attracted to Kendrick and figured he’d be a fantastic Plan B, if I could swing it. But I can’t deny I’m beyond elated my Plan A worked out, instead. My brain tries to recall the image of Colin’s face as he stared at Kendrick and me talking, but my actual memories are beginning to get scrambled up with images from a dreamscape, as my mind begins slipping away.

Plan A was just what Colin needed for a 'see what you're goinna miss out on?'

And soon, forceful waves of pleasure begin milking my cock, launching me straight into the most eye-roll-inducing, intense orgasm of my life. By far. The pleasure gripping me, slamming into me, is so profound, so merciless, so consuming, in fact, for a moment I feel in serious danger of passing out. As my body explodes and my vision literally blurs, I collapse, and then lie still on top of Amy for a long moment, trying to catch my breath. That’s when I finally process something I just heard Amy say, in the midst of all that pleasure. Hold up. Did Amy say she loves me, in the middle of that euphoric mutual orgasm, or did I imagine that? Because I’m ninety-nine percent sure I heard Amy say the “L” word just now. Loudly. Shit. As the euphoria I’ve been feeling fades, a slight panic begins taking its place. Did she say she loves me? Oh, fuck.

What did he really expect? ...she's wanted him for years!!!!

From now on, I need to remember our arrangement. No strings. No promises. No leading her on to think otherwise. It’s one thing to role-play being Amy’s fantasy man and another thing to start believing it myself. One of us has to keep a clear head here—remember this isn’t a fairytale and I’m not her Prince Charming. And that person is going to be me.

Fat chance....

I listen as the song heads into its first chorus. “Are you singing backups here?” “No, I don’t sing on our tracks. I leave that to Fish and Dax.” “You sang along to this part at the wedding.” “When we perform live, I’ll sing along to choruses, where we might need extra vocals to add volume. But I don’t sing during the recording process, when Dax and Fish can easily layer in multiple vocal tracks of themselves.” “But don’t you want to sing, sometimes? You have such a beautiful voice.” He looks surprised. “When have you heard me sing? Did I sing in the shower this morning?” “You had a solo in a Christmas pageant one year. Remember that? You and Logan were shepherds.” Colin looks flabbergasted. “How the hell do you remember that? I was eight or nine, so you had to be four or five.” “Maybe I’ve seen a video of it? Either way, your voice was beautiful. So rich and expressive—so much better than any of the other kids. And let’s not forget I stood next to you at Logan’s birthday parties, several times, so I heard you singing ‘Happy Birthday,’ and sounding better than anyone.”

Amy can spot Colin's singing voice