Swoon

by Lauren Rowe

But when I straighten up and turn around to deliver my lines . . . it’s not Kiera’s face I see. It’s Amy’s. Specifically, I’m suddenly imagining Seth gripping Amy’s red hair, as he pushes her down and forces her to suck his cock, all in the name of him doing me a motherfucking favor. I lose my shit. Not about some stupid penny. For real. Without conscious thought, my scripted lines pour out of me, like I’m thinking of them on the fly. I’m in a weird, alternate dimension right now. I’m Private Sherman, saying all the right words. Feeling all the right rage toward Private Hawkings, while still being me. The guy who’d fucking kill Seth Rockford if he lays a motherfucking pinky on my woman. Mine. Mine. Mine. She’s all mine, motherfucker! Every bit as much as that motherfucking penny! “Cut!” Gary yells. And everyone on-set applauds and whoops. “Great job, Colin. Excellent.”

Colin put his feelings out there and everyone pleased with his performance

Amy’s the one I trust to tell me the truth. Not in words. But with that expressive face of hers. The girl can’t hide a single emotion, no matter how hard she tries. And thanks to Amy’s face, I know I kicked ass. I know it. Which means I can finally breathe deeply for the first time today.

Colin getting in deep now...

I’m suddenly enraged. Even if Colin knows I’m bluffing, so what? Is it too much to ask for him to say he can’t stand the thought of Seth, or anyone else, touching me? Doesn’t he know I’d throw myself at his feet and declare my undying love for him, if only he’d say that? Oh. Wait. Duh. Colin does realize I’d do that, which is exactly why he’s not saying any of it. Shit! This gorgeous, infuriating asshole is dancing through raindrops! Having his cake and eating it, too! He wants all the benefits of my fawning adoration without any of the responsibilities or commitments on his end! I rise from the couch and pace Colin’s living room, wracked by anger. “You don’t want me enough to tell Logan and Kennedy about us,” I huff out, “but you don’t want anyone else to have me, either? Well, screw that! You can’t have it both ways.

Amy pissed that Colin is making demnds

If we tell our families what’s been going on, they’ll start planning our wedding—and that’s not an exaggeration.” He shakes his head. “I’m not ready for that. Not even close. Are you?” Of course, I am, you stupid man! Don’t you realize I’m the creeper who’s loved you my whole fucking life? That I already know for a fact, sadly, that I’ll never want anyone else the way I want you? That’s what I’m thinking as I stare into Colin’s stupid, tortured face. But wild horses couldn’t make me say any of it. In fact, I’d sooner die than admit that pathetic truth to him. It’s hard enough admitting it to myself.

Colin still not ready to settle down...yet!

“Okay, promise me this: you’ll let me know the second it seems like I’m right and Seth wants you to suck his cock as one of your job duties.” “And what if he does? You’ll hop a flight to Hawaii and come beat him up?” “If that’s what it takes to keep you safe, yes,” he says, without hesitation. Oooh, I like that answer. But I keep myself from showing it. “Are you implying he’d be assaulting me in that scenario? Because, as mentioned, I’m pretty sure I’d say yes if he made a move on me.” Colin narrows his eyes. “In that scenario, Seth would be your employer, which would make your yes legally unreliable. You might say yes, because you felt like you couldn’t say no.

Amy happy to get this reaction

I smirk at the smoke coming out of Colin’s ears and decide to twist the knife. “Unless, of course, you’re worried about Seth not using a condom with me. Is that the kind of ‘unsafe’ activity you’re worried about? Because if that’s the case, if you’re asking me to promise to make Seth use a condom when he rails me, each and every night in Hawaii, and some mornings and lunch breaks, too, then okay, I promise.” Oh, man. He’s losing his mind. Which, of course, was my intended result.

Smoke an venom LOL

“Who’s your daddy now?” Colin mutters behind me, before biting my ass, hard, and slapping my ass cheek. “You make me so fucking hard when you’re a bad girl,” he mutters, before plunging his full length into me from behind. I growl with pleasure as he fills me, all the way, while gripping the comforter beneath me to steady me. As my body relaxes and molds to his, Colin begins pounding me, fucking me, railing me, mercilessly, in a way he’s never done before. He’s not teaching me what my body can do this time around—he’s showing me what his body can do, when I’ve been a very bad girl. And I’m loving it.

Daddy Colin punishing his little puppet

Whatever Colin might be feeling for me beyond brotherly affection at this point, it’s a brand-new thing for him. Whereas for me, this is the fulfillment of a lifelong fantasy. And so, while still feeling high on the outrageously dirty pleasure Colin just delivered to me, I decide to accept things as they are, for now, rather than thinking about how I wish they’d be.

Amy going to be patient and not push Colin

I think about the things I’ll miss out on because I’m dying so young. No wife. No kids. No more Amy. What? Amy. Amy. Amy. She’s my dying thought. My only dying thought. I’ll never get to have a future with Amy. What the fuck? I’m supposed to be thinking about my parents’ divorce right now! That’s what my acting coach told me to do, after we talked about various emotional triggers in my life. But out of nowhere, as I look into Rob’s blue eyes, I see Amy’s green ones. I’m going to lose my chance with her, forever. “Action!” Gary says, prompting Private Hawkings to frantically shout his line. Tears prick my eyes as my best friend holds me and I choke out my last words on this earth. I tell Private Hawkings to find the girl I love back home and tell her I love her. Tears flood my eyes. “Tell her to get married and have babies and live a long and happy life,” I manage to say, struggling to get the words out, as tears roll down my cheeks. “Tell her not . . . to live the rest of her life . . . in love . . . with a dead guy.”

Damn he's thinking about Amy!!!! Colin even managed to cry on cue ;-o

“You want to hold her?” Violet asks Colin, since he’s the only one who hasn’t held the baby yet. “Absolutely,” Colin says, surprising me with his enthusiasm. “Gimme that baby!” Violet slides the baby into Colin’s tattooed, muscled arms, and the minute he smiles down at her, both my ovaries explode like mini nuclear bombs. This isn’t a run-of-the-mill swoon I’m feeling right now. This is a Code Red Cat Five Hurricane overtaking me.

Aww Amy want to give Colin a baby ....soon!

Ryan addresses Keane. “Have you finished shooting the third season yet, Peenie?” Keane nods. “We wrapped a couple weeks ago.” “Lucky timing,” Ryan replies. “Yeah, it was perfect. This way, Mad Dog and I can both stay home with Billie for three months. After that, Maddy’s got a couple cool projects lined up in New York, so Billie and I will travel with her for that stuff. And when we get back, it’ll be perfect timing for me to start shooting the fourth season.” “I didn’t know you’d already gotten picked up for another season,” Ryan says. “Congrats, Peenie!” Keane laughs. “We got picked up for three more seasons. Guaranteed.”

Keane and Maddie both busy but making scheduling with baby work

“Money, fame, power! It’ll all be mine, thanks to that lingering shot of my peen!” “He’s not wrong,” Maddy says. “It’s a great career move. Plus, I think it’s great Keane’s challenging societal norms regarding male versus female nudity. People get so uptight about male nudity—somehow, that’s shocking and rated X—and yet, everywhere we look, we see female bodies on display, used to sell every product under the sun. If you ask me, Keane is doing a great thing normalizing male nudity.”

Well if his wife is ok with Peen showing the goods on camera

Violet’s blue eyes flash with anger. “Colin wants to have sex with you, and play house with you, and bring you to parties and to my house to hang out, until we’re all head over heels in love with you . . . all while telling you it’s only casual?” “In fairness, we both agreed.” “But that’s not what you want?” Violet says. “You agreed because you figured some of Colin was better than nothing?” I swallow hard and nod. “But now you feel like his side chick. His guilty pleasure. You feel like he cares more about your brother’s feelings than yours.” This time, she’s issuing statements, not questions. And I can’t stop nodding like a bobblehead. “Get out of my head, Violet Morgan,” I whisper, trying to deflect my embarrassment with humor. But Violet’s not smiling at my remark, so I clasp my hands and press my lips together, feeling bare and vulnerable under her blue gaze. Alessandra shifts in her seat. “For what it’s worth, I can tell Colin really likes you. Every time I’ve seen him with you, it’s obvious he’s totally smitten with you.” My heart leaps with hope at Alessandra’s pronouncement . . . until I see the look of skepticism and fury Violet and Maddy are exchanging. “You two don’t agree,” I say. Violet returns to me and smiles sympathetically. “Of course, we agree Colin is smitten with you. That boy is happier around you than he’s ever been. That’s what makes what he’s doing so infuriating.”

The ladies unhappy with Colin again...he's reaping all the benefits

I should have put my foot down last night, when Colin lied about us to my brother and sister-in-law during a FaceTime call. I was so hurt and pissed when we ended that call, but then our argument turned into this hurricane of lust, and I temporarily forgot everything he’d done to hurt my feelings.” I blush. “Colin’s really good at sex. It’s hard for me to remember my own name when we get going.” Maddy laughs. “Good sex will do that to you.” “And then, Colin was awe-inspiring on the set today,” I continue, “so I was too blown away by him to remember how I’ve been feeling. But now that I’m talking about it with you ladies, I’m realizing I can’t keep lying to myself. Good sex is only a temporary fix. My hurt feelings aren’t going to disappear. They’re only going to grow, if I keep pretending I’m fine being his guilty pleasure.” When tears prick my eyes again, Violet hugs me. So, I cry on her shoulder for a moment, while the other women whisper words of encouragement.

The ladies and Jackson are siding with Amy

Violet nods. “What I’m about to say might sound harsh, but I’m only saying it because I’ve been in your exact shoes with Daxy and done precisely what I’m about to suggest to you.” I look at her expectantly, already certain I’ll do whatever this gorgeous woman instructs, if it’d give me the slightest chance of winding up with Colin the way she’s wound up with Dax. Violet levels me with fierce, blue eyes. “You need to come clean with Colin about your feelings, without holding back, as soon as possible, and let the chips fall where they may.” Shoot. I suspected she was going to say that.

Violet tells Amy what she did in her shoes

“I agree with everything Violet’s said,” Maddy chimes in. “I’ve been in your shoes, too—with Keane.” She looks down at Billie in her arms. “And I’m positive I wouldn’t be here now, if I hadn’t drawn a line in the sand with that man.”

Time to draw a line for Colin....

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you,” Violet says to me. “I hope this isn’t a weird time to bring this up . . . I know I’m not what you’ve had in mind during your job search, but would you consider working for me?” When my lips part in surprise, Violet elaborates. She says I’d be working for her, personally, not for Dax—at her house. She says she’s been wanting a full-time assistant/right-hand woman for some time now but hasn’t pulled the trigger yet because she’s been skittish about hiring a stranger to enter her family’s home and life. “But I trust you completely, Amy,” she says. “And I know you’d be perfect for the job I have in mind.” “What would the job be, exactly?” I ask. “You’d help me with my cancer charity some, but mostly, you’d help me launch my dream of designing wedding dresses. You’d also probably help get me organized, in general, and lend a hand with Jackson, as needed.” She looks at her son, asleep in my arms. “I can’t believe how quickly he took to you.” She looks at me hopefully, her blue eyes sparkling. “So, that’s my pitch. What do think?” I don’t hesitate. “I think yes. I accept your job offer.”

Amy got a PA job from Violet yippee!!

Do me a favor, though: don’t tell Colin about my new job before then, not until I’ve shown up for my first day of work. Once I’ve told him my feelings tonight, I want his reaction to be based on nothing but his honest feelings. I don’t want Colin deciding to be with me, simply because he realizes he’s going to be seeing me all the time, anyway, and I’m the path of least resistance.” “So smart,” Violet says. “Okay, I won’t say a word. And neither will Daxy.” “Thank you.” “My lips are sealed, too,” Alessandra says. “I won’t tell Fish about the job, so he doesn’t feel like he’s keeping something from Colin. Poor Matthew is the worst at keeping secrets. I’ll spare him the torture.” I inhale deeply. “Thank you, guys. Wow, I feel like such a huge weight has been lifted off me. I didn’t realize how much this ‘arrangement’ with Colin has been twisting me into knots until we started talking.” “The truth shall set you free,” Violet says.

They're going to keep Amy's new job a secret for now ;-)

I smirk. “Guilty as charged.” “Also, it drives me bonkers the way you shove things into drawers and closets, without the slightest bit of organization. You’re cool with things looking neat and perfect, on the outside, when, underneath, they’re a hot mess!” She levels me with two pools of green fire. “In my opinion, that’s a metaphor. You look amazing and perfect, on the outside. You’ve worked hard to make it so—and kudos to you for that. But underneath that perfect body and ink, let’s face it, babe, you’re a hot fuckin’ mess!” I press my lips together. Yet again, she’s not wrong.

Amy telling Colin he's not perfect he's a hot mess who enjoyed being on a pedistal for Amy to woeship

“Do you even know why you love acting so much?” I cross my arms over my chest, matching her position. “Enlighten me.” “It’s the only time you give yourself permission to express your honest emotions, without holding back, and without feeling embarrassed about them. Acting forces you to dig deep inside yourself, in a way you don’t normally allow yourself to do.”

Damn that woman's right!!!

“That’s why I constantly swoon for you, motherfucker! Not because I think you’re anywhere close to perfect!” I’m short of breath. Oh my God. This was the best ass-whooping I’ve ever received in my life. And I thought my mother was an assassin? Holy fuck. Amy’s more beautiful to me now than ever. “What?” Amy says. “Spit it out. Whatever it is, I can take it.”

Wow first she tears him a new one but then she tells him his good points LOL

For a second, I’m certain she’s going to throw herself into my arms. But no. After a moment, she pulls herself together, squares her shoulders, and says, “This isn’t goodbye. We’ll always be friends. I simply don’t want to be your fuck buddy anymore. If you decide you want more with me, out in the open, if you want me to be your girlfriend and shout about me from the rooftops, then let me know, and I promise I’ll give you a shot . . . if I’m not already dating someone else by then.” She gazes out my front door. “My Uber’s here. Will you bring my bag to the car, please?” My breathing catches. “Where are you going?” “To my friend’s, until it’s time to start my new job.” She gestures to her bag, sternly, so I reluctantly carry it down the front walkway to the waiting car. At the curb, I put Amy’s bag into the trunk, while she slips into the car’s backseat. Without looking at me, she closes her door, looks forward, and says something to the driver. As the car pulls away, I know in my bones I’ve fucked up. I know I love her. But how can I trust these feelings after less than a goddamned week? It’d be pure selfishness to take a leap of faith that big, when I’m not sure the foundation we’re both standing on is rock solid.

Amy issued the ultimatum and Colin blew a fuse now he needs to miss Amy. She's not willing to lower her expectations to 'fu#k buddy'

Oh, God. What have I done? I love her. I know I do. I feel it in my soul. Way down deep. So, why couldn’t I say it to her? Because I’m not fucking crazy, that’s why.

How will he face his last day on the movie without Amy?? Or will she show up?

The problem is that she doesn’t really know me. She thinks she does. Whew! You should have heard the way she chewed my ass the other night. But the thing she doesn’t realize is how weirdly nice and generous I always feel compelled to be around her. For instance, the other day, I heard her say, once, that lilies are her favorite flower. Once. And not even to me. So, what’d I immediately run out and do? Buy her some fucking lilies! Who does that?” Colby, the eldest Morgan brother, laughs. “A man in love does that, dumbass.” Josh, Kat’s husband, chimes in. “I’m not trying to push you into anything, either, Colin. But I feel like I should mention the right woman will bring out the best in you. If a woman doesn’t do that, she’s not The One.” “Amen,” Ryan says, and Colby quickly agrees. Dax pipes in. “You haven’t noticed how Violet makes me a better man?” “Mad Dog has certainly done that for me,” Keane says. “To put it mildly,” Colby mutters, and everyone on the call, except for me, chuckles.

Everyone telling him he's a dumbass...

Why the big pow-wow?” Mia on her Uncle Dax’s lap interjects, “Uncle Colin’s girlfriend broke up with him because he wouldn’t say ‘I love you’ when she said it to him. And now he thinks he messed up and should have said it. So, he’s asking everyone how long it took them to say it and everyone is calling him a big dumb-dumb.” Everyone bursts out laughing, including me. “I couldn’t have explained it better myself, Mia,” I concede. The guys give Kat a bit more information, and to my surprise, Dax’s diabolical sister looks deeply sympathetic. “Violet’s been telling us this same story in the kitchen, actually. And we’ve all reached the same conclusion: You’re a big dumb-dumb.”

You go.Mia!!!!

From what I’ve heard, your girl didn’t demand you to put a ring on it! She just doesn’t want to feel like your hidden, guilty pleasure! And I can’t say I blame her. People don’t hide the ones they love. They shout about them from every mountaintop! So, if you’re not willing to proudly call that woman your girlfriend to everyone you know, not just to the group that’s most comfortable for you, then I think she did the right thing. Good for her.” “Who’s this?” a female voice sings out, before I’ve decided how to reply to Kat’s disemboweling of me.

Everyone on Amy's team...Colin is a dumb dumb

So, if that’s the case, then why can’t I love Amy, in a similar way? In some sense, like a brother would, only in that I want to take care of her and protect her and fix all her problems . . . But also in a decidedly un-brotherly way, too. In the sense that I want to rip her fucking clothes off, every goddamned time I see her? It’s a startling revelation to me. A new way of looking at things that makes everything click into place for me. I love Amy. I’ve always loved Amy. And I always will love Amy. And nobody else. And I also want to fuck the living hell out of her! Oh my God. What more could a man possibly want, if not all that? Amy’s words from the other day suddenly slam into me: “If you want me to be your actual girlfriend and shout from the rooftops about me, then let me know, and I promise I’ll give you a shot . . . if I’m not already dating someone else by then.” Oh, no. I’ve been such a fool!

Colin just had his brain explode!!!

“What do you mean no? Kat, I have to go!” “Colin, you absolutely cannot hang up and call this poor woman to say you love her for the first time!” Kat says. “That ship has sailed. The price of admission has gone way up now.” “What are you talking about?” I ask, genuinely confused. “She’s saying you gotta grand gesture the fuck outta her, brah!” Keane shouts from the back.

Phone call won't do it Colin...it's grand gesture time buddy

“I’ve got it!” I blurt. “I know what to do!” I’m shaking from adrenaline. I leap up from my couch and pace around my living room, feeling electrified. “I’ve gotta go, guys! Thank you, Morgan Mafia! I love you the most!” “Give us a hint!” Kat shouts. “No time for that. Gotta go. I’ll fill you in later.” “Go balls to the walls, Colinoscopyyyyy!” Keane yells. “Roger!” ‘Rabbit,” the entire group responds, even Mia on Dax’s lap. Because that’s what any Morgan worth their salt always says after hearing the word “roger,” in any context.

He's figured it out...now to execute his plan

I’m pretty sure she’s gonna start work on the movie set tomorrow, now that I’m no longer there. So, we’re gonna show up and I’m gonna sweep her off her feet! Ka-bam!” “Why has Amy been ghosting you?” “Because I’m an idiot. I’ll tell you about it in person. Are you coming here or am I going there? Time’s a-ticking.” “You’d better come here. I just smoked a huge bowl.” I chuckle. “Okay, I’m on my way. Stay awake for me.” “You’d better pack an overnight bag. Depending how long it takes us to pound out this ‘perfect’ love song, you might want to crash here tonight, so we can drive to the studio and the taping together tomorrow.” “Good thinking. I’ll be there in twenty, Fish Head. Thanks.” “Make it forty and grab me a pizza on your way. Ally’s having dinner at her mom’s tonight. I’m hungry.” “There’s no time, Fish Head.” “You want to exploit my songwriting skillz, then you need to feed me, Seymour.” “Fine. One pizza coming up. Stay awake for me.” “Make it two pizzas.” He snorts. “I smoked a lot of weed.” Where does this lanky man put all the food he eats? “Fine,” I say, exasperated. “Two pizzas. Just don’t pass out on me before I get there.” “Roger.” “Rabbit. See you soon.”

Poor Fish drafted to help Colin write Amy a song

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Seth yells behind my back in the doorframe, as the poor woman shrieks and scrambles. My eyes still averted, I call out to the woman, “You’re Seth’s new PA?” “Get out!” she screams. “Do you want to be here?” “Of course! Get out!” “Sorry.” I turn around, drag Seth by his arm into the living space, and yell, “Where’s Amy?” “Who?” Seth looks genuinely confused, which pisses me off even more. Flooded with adrenaline, I shove Seth’s back into a nearby wall and pin him there with a forearm against his bobbing Adam’s apple. “Amy. My girlfriend. The redhead you’re planning to fuck in Hawaii!”

LOL oopsie wrong PA in Seth's bed

I slam Seth against the wall again, this time even harder than before, and his eyes nearly pop out of his head in shock. “Keep my girlfriend’s name out of your fucking mouth, or I’ll kill you.” Seth grips my forearms. “Get your hands off me!” “Colin!” Fish yells behind me. I feel his hands gripping my shoulder. “Colin, stop!” Seth pushes on my chest while Fish pulls me back, so I relent and take a step back. I’m trembling with rage, but in control enough to back off. That is, until Seth points at me and shouts something that instantly hurtles me into an uncontrolled rage. “You just committed career suicide!” Seth seethes. “Over a mousy little PA I’d never stoop to fuck, anyway!”

Seth going to blackball Colin over this incident

Fuck. My body quaking with adrenaline, I sprint out the trailer, prompting Fish to follow on my heels. For at least a full minute, the two of us Goats flee the scene of my crime, heading vaguely in the direction of the main production area. But when I realize Fish is cackling hysterically behind me as he runs—laughing so hard, in fact, the gap between us is beginning to lengthen considerably—I stop running to let him catch up. Finally, when Fish comes to a stop next to me, he bends over, rests his palms on his thighs, and laughs his ass off for an eternal moment. “That was epic!” Fish shouts. “Awesome!” “It’s not funny,” I gasp out. “Seth’s a powerful guy, Fish. He could demand my part gets recast. He could press charges.” “Bah. Fuck it, shit happens.” It’s the catchphrase Fish coined in middle school that turned his lifelong nickname into an acronym. He continues, “Did you see the look on Seth’s face when he realized you’d punched him? Bwaahaa! That was amazing!”

Fish is going to love telling this story... forever

“Hey, you said you wanted to grand gesture the fuck outta Amy, right? Well, mission accomplished! You couldn’t have grand gestured her better than that.” I rub my forehead. “I’m fucked, Fish.” He puts his palm on my shoulder. “I have a feeling everything’s gonna be just fine. But if not, so what? There’ll be other movies—whereas, this was your one and only chance to beat the shit out of Seth Rockford to defend your woman’s honor.” Fish hoots with glee, which makes me laugh, too, even though I know I shouldn’t. “Unfortunately, I’m gonna look like a loose cannon psychopath to Amy when I tell her this story,” I say, “since I can’t tell her what Seth said about her. He basically called her unfuckable, Fish—and that’s one of Amy’s biggest insecurities. But if I don’t tell her about that, then why did I beat the shit out of Seth Rockford? Because he looked at her the wrong way a couple times last week? Making her think I’m a nut case isn’t quite the grand gesture I was going for here.” “Tell Amy the opposite,” Fish says. “Tell her Seth was talking shit about how much he wants to fuck her, so you snapped.” “Oooh, I like that version.”

Nice spin Fish!!!!

“Fish, let’s not drag that poor woman into this.” “But wouldn’t she have to give a statement as an eyewitness, if Seth tried to press charges against Colin or get him kicked off the movie?” Fish asks. “That’s the only reason I’ve brought her up—because I have a feeling, when Seth realizes that, he’ll probably want to let bygones be bygones.” My mouth clanks open. Holy shit! He’s a genius! Gary looks at Margaret, his eyebrows lifted, before returning to Fish. “You’re exactly right, Matthew. Yes, any eyewitness to what happened would most definitely need to give an official statement, if Seth were to report what happened with Colin.” He looks at Margaret again. “But given the circumstances, I can’t fathom Seth would want to do that.” “I’ll handle it,” Margaret says tightly, before taking a few steps away, with her phone already pressed to her ear. Gary returns to Fish and me. “Don’t worry about a thing, Colin. I’m positive Seth won’t say a word about what happened.

Fish to the rescue yet again!!

I exhale an ocean of relief. “I’m sorry I lost my temper.” “You should be.” He claps a palm on my shoulder and leans forward to whisper. “But don’t be too sorry.” He snickers. “I’ll deny it if you repeat this, but you did what half of Hollywood has been wanting to do to Seth for years.” He smirks. “Including me.” Fish hoots with glee, but I’m too relieved to join him. “It’s gonna be fine, Colin. But don’t you dare fuck up like this on our next movie together. This is a lucky, one-time free pass.” “I’m gonna do another movie with you?” I ask. Gary smiles. “Of course. I always like working with my favorite actors, again and again. Surely, you know this about me.” I feel myself blushing. “Yeah, I’ve noticed that. I’d love to work with you again, Gary. Any time.” “Good. I’ve already got something in mind for you. It’s shooting next year.” My heart feels like it’s bursting. “Whenever you call me, I’ll come running. Working with you has been a dream come true.”

Gary pleased with the outcome and offers future movie work...result!

As the host does her thing, I notice Kendrick Cook standing in the opposite wing and feel sick to my stomach at the sight of him. He’s a fit, handsome dude with a beaming smile and a heart of gold. How could I have been so stupid not to lock Amy down the other night, and risk pushing her straight into the arms of someone like Kendrick Cook?

Lock her down what is she a prized possession??

“Don’t shoot the messenger! This is between C-Bomb and you.” I roll my eyes. “C-Bomb isn’t fucking her, KC. He’s harboring her.” Kendrick furrows his brow. “Huh?” I run my palm down my face. “Amy and I had an argument. Caleb’s obviously been helping her ghost me.” “Are you sure? That doesn’t sound like C-Bomb.” “I’m sure. Thanks for telling me. Sorry I was a dick the other night. I was fighting my attraction to her. I’m sure Amy genuinely liked you.” “No worries. I figured out the situation pretty quickly. I hope everything works out for you two.” “Thanks. Me, too.” I grip Kendrick’s palm, sideways, confirming there are no hard feelings, and Fish does the same.

C-Bomb harbouring Amy LOL

“Hey, C-Bomb. Long time, no talk.” “Way too long.” Fish looks at me, shocked, before replying, “I agree. Do you think you might be willing to say the same thing to Dax?” “I’ve been talking to Amy about doing that very thing, as a matter of fact—whenever she’s taken a break from crying or ‘helping me,’ that is. Amy’s helped me look at several things from a new perspective. Don’t let her green doe-eyes fool ya. She’s a sniper.” “She is,” I agree. “She kicked the shit out of me the other day.” “Oh, trust me, I know. I’ve heard all about it. How’d you finally figure out Amy is here?” “Kendrick.” He chuckles. “Thank God. Amy made me swear I wouldn’t call you and tell you she’s here. But she never said I couldn’t tell Kendrick to tell you. Ha! What’s your ETA?” “Fifteen minutes,” Fish supplies. “Don’t tell Amy I’m coming,” I interject.

C-Bomb ready to turf Amy out of his home befor she drives him nuts

“Please, don’t fuck this up, man,” Caleb pleads. “There’s nothing left for the woman to organize here, and I’m not wired to be anyone’s shoulder to cry on for this fucking long.” I chuckle. “Don’t worry, brother. I’m riding in on my white horse as we speak. As a good friend of mine called it, I’m gonna grand gesture the fuck outta her.”

Caleb sounds desperate LOL

Kennedy whoops and Logan says something I can’t make out above her celebration. “Loving Amy is the easiest thing I’ve ever done,” Colin says through the din. “And I want you—and the whole world—to know it. She’s gonna be living with me, permanently. Forever. She’s The One. I’m done looking, and she is, too.” He looks at me. “Right?” “Right.” He exhales with relief. I roll my eyes. “You knew that, Colin.” I smile at my brother and Kennedy. “Are you guys surprised?” Logan and Kennedy look at each other and snicker, before Logan answers “nope” and Kennedy replies, “Not at all.” “We saw you two at the rehearsal dinner,” Logan says. “And then at the wedding reception. We’re not blind.” “Oh my God, Logan,” Kennedy says to her husband. “I had to point it out to you!” “Yeah, but once you did, I wasn’t blind anymore.” Kennedy giggles. “You’re not pissed

Kennedy had to help Logan see LOL ...

“Are you gonna call both sets of parents next?” Logan says. “Because I should warn you, my mother is gonna lose her shit. She’s always wanted you and Amy to get together.” “What?” I shout. “When did Mom say that?” “Every time Colin was a better big brother to you than me. Which happened a lot.” Logan smiles tenderly at me. “I’m thrilled for you, Amy. Always follow your heart. Take whatever path calls to you and run with it. Fuck the O’Brien way.”

Aww mom's going to go crazy

Why did I think romantic love had to be hard and painful to be real? Was it from watching my parents as a kid? Was that idea reinforced after watching my sister, Chiara, go through her painful divorce? Well, now I see. True love can be easy and natural and right, like it’s written in the stars. Like it’s always been with Amy. My whole life, the harder someone’s love felt to attain, the more I wanted it. Perhaps, I wanted to prove I wasn’t a quitter. Or that I was worthy. But now, suddenly, I realize love has always been so fucking hard for me, as far back as my teens, because I was never with the right person. I wasn’t with Amy.

Duh...he finally gets it. Love should be easy

She bites her lip, looking like she’s holding her tongue. “What?” I ask, and when she looks sheepish, I add, “Whatever you’re thinking, spit it out, babe. From now on, we need to agree we’ll always speak our minds.” Amy exhales. “I’d need to be wearing your ring before I’d feel comfortable pulling the goalie.” She makes an apologetic face. “It’s not that I don’t believe you when you say you love me forever. It’s just that—" “Dude, I’m gonna put a ring on it.” I chuckle as Amy’s body relaxes into mine. “Didn’t you listen to my lyrics? I’ll love you till I’m old and gray. I’ll love you from beyond the grave. I’ll love you forever and a day. I didn’t pick those lyrics because they rhyme.

He's gonna put a ring on it!!! Pull the goalie LOL

“We’ll let you two catch up in private,” I murmur, motioning to Alessandra to follow me. But Violet disengages from Caleb and says, “Stay. There’s nothing Caleb and I need to say to each other in private.” She fixes her blue eyes on me, and I know from being around her so much these past six months, she’s nonverbally telling me she’ll cut a bitch—a bitch named Amy—if I take as much as a single step. When it’s clear I’m staying put, Violet returns

Violet needed Amy to stay...

“I’m happy for you.” Caleb’s eyes shift, briefly, to me, and I nod my encouragement. We talked about this six months ago, after all. I told Caleb, in no uncertain terms, he’d never be able to find true love again, never be able to feel true happiness again, frankly, if he didn’t wipe the slate clean with Violet and Dax and admit his contributions to the cluster fuck and forgive. Caleb clears his throat. “I’m happy for you both.” Violet looks shocked. “Thank you.” Caleb shifts his weight. “I came over here to tell you that. Also, to say I know it was wrong of me to expect my band to stand in solidarity with me, when I was the one being an asshole. I was immature and selfish. I felt stabbed in the heart, and I thought stabbing Dax in his heart in return would make me feel better. But it didn’t.” He looks at me again, gets encouragement, and returns to Violet. “Amy told me the expression, ‘When you hold a grudge, it’s like drinking poison and hoping the other guy dies.’

Amy got Caleb in the right mindspace to admit he was an ass

“We should go,” I say tentatively to Caleb. “Absolutely,” he says, waving us away. “Go, go!” I lean in and whisper, “I’m proud of you.” And then, off we go, with Caleb calling to my back, “Throw an elbow if needed, O’Brien! Be ruthless!” Laughing, I throw up my free hand as I gallop away, letting Caleb know I’ve heard his silly advice.

Of course he'd tell her to be ruthless

We pass that same bench from earlier, at a distance, and see Dax and Caleb sitting together, their body language relaxed and amiable. Clearly, whatever they’re saying to each other over there, it’s going well. Fish looks elated as he takes in the sight of Dax and Caleb together and says, “Miracles never cease.” “That’s thanks to Amy,” Alessandra reports. “She’s the one who talked some sense into Caleb.” “I barely said anything,” I murmur. “Well, whatever you said, you performed a miracle,” Fish says. “Thank you.”

Aww Dax and Caleb chatting again ;-)

I truly can’t believe what I’m seeing. Hearing. Feeling. This song, this moment, is an incredible gift. And not only to Colin and me, as a celebration of our engagement. It’s also a gift to Reed and Georgina on their wedding day. For that matter, it’s a gift to every guest at this wedding, too, who’ll always have an amazing story to tell. But, mostly, based on what Caleb and I talked about all those months ago at his house, I know this performance is Caleb’s highly personal gift from him to Violet Rhodes Morgan. His first and only love. It’s his way of letting Violet go, once and for all. He’s letting her know he’s finally man enough to wish her happiness, in whatever form that takes. And I couldn’t be prouder of him for it.

The big guy has an even bigger heart