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Nobody will drink the orange juice either, but it looks nice in tiny glass cups next to the coffee, and it’s Sunday, damn it, so everything should look nice, even if it’s just the three of us and I’m the only one who cares.
If I were that freaking gorgeous, I’d be thrilled all the time. I’d live in strappy tops without worrying my back fat would squish through them like a tube of biscuits you whack against the counter to split open.
“Um, for your information,” I say, “she would be very lucky to know me. I still know every teacher at the elementary school, my book club has a waiting list, and I can tell her who all the good parents are in the neighborhood and which ones to avoid—”
She instructs her wiener dog to poop on the Carlsons’ lawn, and she gives him a cookie from her pocket when he obeys.
Paige man 🤦🏽♀️
If you’re gonna cheat, trade up.”
PERIOD
“Oh, if he came for me, I’d blow his head off,”
cora u are a BADASS
I think about all the ways I could kill him now that there is no chance some inmate named Face, with a soft spot for middle-aged corporate guys, will shank him in prison.
im so dead
