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“Get up here and ride my dick,”
“The ocean and I have an understanding,” I explain. “I stay away from it, and it doesn’t try to kill me.”
“What’s going on?” he pries. “What are they saying?”
“I got you.”
It’s like the moment we left Boston, we’ve been in a bad Final Destination sequel.
“Baby, I didn’t spend three years at Harvard Law to let my husband rot in jail on my honeymoon.
“Marrying a lawyer means never having to spend a night in jail,”
“You’re incredible,”
“You’re just saying that because you almost became someone’s prison boyfriend.”
“I’m too pretty to be l...
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“And just so you know, no matter what, I’m always gonna be there for you. I’ve got your back.”
“Lucky Bitch,” I say by way of an introduction. “Nice to meet you.”
“You two want to get a room?”
Don’t get me wrong, we’re not perfect. We bicker often, but, I mean, that’s because she’s a stubborn asshole.
“You know what all those buttons do?”
“Nope,”
“Not a clue.”
“That’s a lot of buttons. How you even learn to do all this?”
“Don’t tell anybody, but I don’t even work here.”
Why didn’t you just come crash with me?
Cuz I’m a grown man who doesn’t need his hand held every time I’m assaulted by a pair of strange tits?
Your loss. We coulda cuddled.
I mean, if you want to be a little jealous, that’s cool too…
Oh, I’ll cut a bitch. They don’t want to try me.
Am I the last one to find out?”
“Yo, that’s decent right there,”
“Mad respect.”
“Get back in bed. I’ll bring it to you.”
“It’s just coffee,”
