I Kissed Shara Wheeler

by Casey McQuiston

That’s the thing about popular kids: They don’t have the type of bond forged in the fire of being weird and queer in small-to-medium-town Alabama. If Chloe tried to ghost like this, there’d be a militia

of Shakespeare gays kicking down every door in False Beach.

Because two days ago, Shara found her alone in the B Building elevator before fifth hour, pulled her in by the elbow, and kissed her until she forgot an entire semester of French. And Chloe still doesn’t know why.

Shara kissed Rory. And now Rory is standing here, in her room, defending her to Chloe, because he—oh God. She’s the girl next door, and he’s in love with her.

He definitely at least knows her as that weird queer girl from LA with two lesbian moms,

“I don’t know what peach means,” Smith says, “but the numbers are my locker combination.”

Chloe changed the name of the chat to “I Kissed Shara Wheeler”

‘If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.’

While Georgia rereads Regency classics, Chloe’s favorite stories are the ones where the headstrong young woman on a cinematic journey to master her powers falls for the monster who’s been antagonizing her all along. Georgia knows this, so she curates a stack of books behind the counter for Chloe and adds to it every time they get something Chloe might like. She affectionately calls it Chloe’s Monster Fucker Collection.

While she does like boys, she generally finds the traits of a compelling villain—arrogance, malice, an angsty backstory—tedious in a man. Like, what do hot guys with long dark hair even have to be that upset about? Get a clarifying shampoo and suck it up, Kylo Ren. So your rich parents sent you to magic camp and you didn’t make any friends. Big deal.

“Call me old-fashioned, but a man’s place is in the basement, preparing vocal exercises for his more talented wife.”

“All I want is a nice girlfriend in a cottage where we have philosophical conversations over scones or something.”

“I—she—she brought it here last week and told me specifically to give it to you the next time you came through the drive-thru,” he

Of course. Of course Shara gave her this instead of an explanation. Of course Shara cast herself as the main character of her own personal John Green novel.

“It means that gossip is against God’s will, and so is lying,”

“Shara’s visiting family.

It’s a good lie, and he’s good at delivering it, which isn’t surprising, since he spends his whole life telling students God cares about spaghetti straps. It’s almost believable.

She thinks, Because you can’t afford to expel the example of academic excellence that you dangle in front of parents of prospective students for tuition money, and you need a new pool.

Shara left her parents a note, just like the rest of them.

She really is gone, and not even Wheeler knows where she is.

“As your teacher, I’m obligated to tell you that gossiping about a missing person isn’t very Christian,”

Somewhere you go almost every day. Keeping your vows. Hiding in the brakes. Wait. Wedding vows.

Guess that explains who stole the piano key.

And leave thee to the mercy of wild beasts. That’s the rest of the line.

You always seemed to be right next to me, even though we never could get that close to each other.

Rachel Rule,”

“It’s a rule the seniors made last year for Rachel Kennedy, who was a huge bitch but still got to come to parties because she had huge boobs,”

Hanging out with someone is not the same as being friends with them.

“Just because I’m queer doesn’t mean I’m in love with every beautiful girl who pays attention to me.”

“For the record, you being gay wasn’t what made me think you were in love with her.”

“I’m not gay.” She bristles. “I’m bisexual. That’s a thing.” “I know it’s a thing,” Smith says doggedly. “I just didn’t realize you were.”

“She’s the only person in this school who can keep up with me,

She surprises me.

“He’s in love with my girlfriend.

“Because Rory used to be my best friend.”

“Congrats on being the only member of the football team I would save in a fire.”

“Remember your ‘Hey Mamas’ phase,” Chloe says.

“Chloe, we’re gay. We can’t do math.” “Okay, well, next time I’ll come and make a spreadsheet.” “This is why we need you,” Georgia says. “Once in a generation, there is born a bisexual who can do math. You’re the chosen one.”

Georgia is the light on the dark side of Chloe’s moon,

“Remember last year when they had that cop come and try to scare us about drugs, but he ended up telling us exactly how many ounces of weed you can carry without getting arrested?” “Iconic.”

One good thing about the weird, jealous feud between Rory and Smith: As long as she can find one, she’ll find the other.

“Chloe, look. I didn’t ever want it to come to this, but we have to be honest with each other.” He closes his eyes gravely. “You can lift more than me. It makes more sense for you to help me up.” “Oh,” Chloe says. “Okay.”

“Shara fucking Wheeler,”

enemy of the Willowgrove Code of Conduct behind.

“Heyyyy, Ms. Dunbury!” says a sudden, jovial voice from what sounds like the library entrance. “How’s my favorite librarian doing this fine afternoon?” Rory exhales. “Smith.”

“Was that incredibly convenient timing,” Chloe says, squinting at Rory in the dark as he clambers off of her, “or did you tell him what we were doing?” “I may have stopped by his locker after seventh hour and mentioned that some of us were actually going to be trying to find his girlfriend after school today.”

“God, why is he still here? What is he doing? There’s no way his job is that hard. All he does is cut the arts budget and misinterpret the Bible. How many hours can that possibly take?”

Chloe texted her moms that she’d be out late studying with Georgia, but she probably should have sent them her final farewell, because she’s definitely going to die here.

“Rory, if you show me that dead mouse again, I swear to God I’m gonna make you eat it.”

And we’re doing it so I can find Shara before grades are finalized and make her come back. I didn’t work my ass off for the last four years not to see her face when she loses.” “Jesus,” Rory says. “Is that really the only reason you’re doing this? Valedictorian?” “Better than trying to get in her pants.”