Inevitable Destruction

by Marie Ann

your choices are mine your sorrows, still always present until you get your fill the itch in your veins the blood in your eyes deep in my marrow your soul resides —Marie Ann

In reality, it was all fucking fake. Merely a distraction—for the both of us. A way to pass the time, trying to ignore the shit we’d much rather forget.

She was the only thing holding me back—keeping me from succumbing to my deepest and deadliest cravings. Cravings I have no desire to fight any longer. So, I don’t.

I don’t want to die… I just don’t want to feel anything.

The nothing that will inevitably be my destruction.

My logic is; why the fuck would there be someone—or something—that dictated and controlled absolutely everything and then let something like this happen?

When we die, we’re just fucking gone. Nonexistent. No darkness, no light, not even a fucking void. We simply cease to exist.

It’s debilitating. Consuming. Wreaking havoc on my mind and soul.

Now do what I fucking told you and paint your cum all the fuck over me.”

With his heat wrapped around me, I can’t help wishing it were someone else I was coming inside of.

“Lightning Crashes” by Live plays softly on repeat in the background, just loud enough to be heard, and if I didn’t know the lyrics by heart, I wouldn’t be able to tell what they are.

Jesus fucking Christ, I hate it here. This fucking town. These people. This place is tainted with the ghosts of my past—not just the people.

Before the pain. The lies. The drugs. Before it all. Happiness. That’s what I miss.

Who the fuck wears a hat during sex? And why do I find it so fucking hot?

I’d never seen eyes so fucking cold in my life.

That first pinprick, like a snake bite—fast and poisonous and oh, so fucking deadly.

Thinking leads to pain. Pain leads to body wracking memories. Memories lead to something much fucking worse than pain—grief. For who I’ve lost. For who I am and what will never be because of both of those things. And I’d just rather not feel them at all.

I’m still alive. Though, I’m not sure if that’s better than the alternative.

I bet Dominik always knew he would be the cause of his own destruction, but little does he know, ever since his father murdered mine, it was inevitable. I would be the one to destroy Dominik Reed.

To destroy your enemy, you have to know said enemy.

And when we get the big storms—the ones that bring the lightning and thunder—those are my favorite. There’s something about lightning I resonate deeply with. The way it strikes fast, deadly, and bright.

Ahh, beauty boy. There’s no escaping your destruction.

Dominik Reed, the ultimate beauty, and the bane of my existence. On his knees. For me.

What I would give to be a void—to just be absolutely nothing. To not feel, live, or even fucking breathe…

“Oh, my beauty boy. You’re falling much faster than I anticipated. I’ll be there soon.”

My little addict.”

“Let daddy fuck your throat, baby. That’s it. Relax and take it.”

“You’re daddy’s little whore, aren’t you?”

And that’s where I sit until the rain stops and it’s just me with an empty bottle, an empty glass, and an empty heart.

He’s a fucking addict. An insect on this earth, wasting everyone’s time, taking up their space, their oxygen.

Fuck, he’s a sight to behold when he’s feisty.

He looks fucking beautiful amidst his destruction—more than I ever could have hoped for.

“You made me need you, you know.”

“I want your pain, Dominik Alexander Reed, son of Alexander and Arabella Reed.”

This is the right thing to do. I’m ready to… I’m ready to die. Maybe it won’t happen right this moment, but it will eventually; this I know.

He sees so fucking much of me, and I don’t even think he realizes it.

All I feel is warm and tingly as I float on a cloud. Nothing matters anymore… How did I ever think I could live without this?

This boy is fucking everything up inside of me.

That’s how Rhett feels—like a fucking buzz magnet.

don’t think so, beauty. This ass is mine, and I’m gonna fucking eat it if I want.”

“Your self-destruction is so beautiful, baby.”

Some things are better left unsaid.

But I don’t want protection from him. I want everything he has to offer me. Whether it be pain, sex, degradation—I want it all.

“I’m going to hell for this.” His thumb brushes my aching pulse hammering away in my throat. “I’ll meet you there,”

“Knees, beauty boy.”

“You look lost inside that pretty head of yours.”

I’m nothing but Rhett’s beauty boy.

He’s slithered his way inside of me, like a cold-blooded snake, deeper than anyone has been.

I’ve never been so terrified to die in my entire life.

Death could come to me at this very moment, and I would welcome it with open arms as long as I could feel like this forever.