Inevitable Destruction

by Marie Ann

It’s always only ever been about Dominik and my unpredictable desire to destroy him. Only now, I think he might’ve destroyed me, too.

I want him to want me, too. Like this: my true self, as fucked up and abhorrent as that is.

My heart shatters, splintering off into microscopic pieces—all of which imbed into my muscles, my organs, anything within reach. The pain lances through my nervous system, frying it at such a degree, it completely disintegrates everything, leaving me with phantom aches—like I’m missing a limb, though it was never my limb to lose. Just one I wanted but was never mine to take.

He’ll touch me, and his skin on mine will work through my body like a slow, painful death, forever molding me to him. But that’s already happened. Now, I’m just a walking fucking corpse.

It’s always so beautiful—nature’s self-destruction.

Surviving always leads to inevitable destruction. Death.

“My beauty boy.”

Irreparably broken with no way out because the damage is done, completely irreversible.

“I hate that I love you, that you made me fucking need you.”

“You’re so goddamn destructive to everyone around you, you don’t even see the damage you cause until the storm passes and the only thing left is a clear path of your nuclear devastation.”

“I may be fucking destructive, Everett, but you’re a fucking snake. Cold and manipulative. You strike fast then retreat before you even get hurt.” His bottom lip wobbles, twisting my gut. “But worst of all is your fucking bite doesn’t hurt. I don’t feel the sting. Not until later, after your poison has seeped deep into my veins that I feel the effect of you.

“When you’re with me, fucking inside of me, I feel everything! You made me crave you more than I could ever crave any drug.

Because this is it: the moment that’s been on a never-ending loop in my mind ever since I saw him standing next to Essa Monroe, when he inexplicably ruined my fucking life. I knew then I wanted to break him, to make him hate every part of himself.

This is what I wanted… so why do I feel so fucking monstrous?

Dead. Dominik Reed is dead. And I’m the one that killed him.

“Fuck you, Rhett. You broke me worse than she ever could have, more than their deaths did.”

I’m fucking obliterated—all because the boy with a pretty face and an addiction managed to slither his way inside, into my fucking soul.

The nothing I didn’t think I deserved—but maybe that’s the point of being a harbinger of destruction: once the chaos of your destiny is complete, you get to fade into the night one final time.

The world falls away. Stars fall from the sky, shooting down in big balls of fire, disintegrating everything in their path.

I’m drowning in the depth of the world around me—a world without Dominik. A world I created for myself.

“Without him, there is no me. Not anymore. Not since he made me need him, too. Love him, too.”

He was never the destruction, I was. And together, we fucking imploded.

My beauty boy.

It’s a big open space with a dark wood interior, low hanging beams, and black painted walls with dark orange designs painted on top. A large, orange decal covers the front window with the name of the shop—Vice Tattoo.

The lightning bolt starts just under my right pec and trails down my torso, over my ribs, veering towards my spine. I tug at my sweatpants, following as it travels down, past my hip and ending on my inner thigh, close to my groin in a line of solid black ink.

He’s my most coveted drug, the one I never found an antidote for.

I took his beautiful, broken soul and warped it into one of rot and decay.

“Fuck, beauty boy. I missed you so fucking much. I’ve been dying without you. Everything’s been darker, riddled with pain.”

It’s not healing, but it’s necessary.

“I’m obsessed with you, Dominik. I crave your touch, desperate and wanton for me, and your taste on my tongue is unlike anything to ever spill into my mouth.”

“I ache for you, beauty boy.”

I welcome the dull bite of pain—the perfect replica of his love. Our aching, consuming, carnal love.

I never knew a person could be this addictive… until Dominik. My beauty boy. My eternal fixation.