Believe Me (Shatter Me #6.5)

by Tahereh Mafi

I turn, heart racing, at the soft shudder of the bathroom door opening. I already know it’s her.

You think the reason Warner gets all quiet and gives people death stares is because he’s too nice? To say anything?” Winston glances at me. “Him?” I am smiling.

The dog is wearing a stupid bow on his head right now.”

I worry, sometimes, that my love for her will expand beyond the limitations of my body, that it will one day kill me with its heft.

“We’re getting married today?” I turn back to meet Ella’s eyes, my heart pounding now for an entirely new reason. A better reason.

I’m trying, but I can’t stop laughing. “Huh,” says Winston quietly. “I didn’t even know his face could do that.” “Yeah,” Kenji says. “It’s super weird the first time you see it.”

“I can’t look away. I’m trying to look away and I can’t. It’s like if a baby was born with a full set of teeth.” “Yes! Exactly. It’s exactly like that!” “But nice, too.” “Yeah.” Kenji sighs. “Nice, too.”

The pilot light in my body catches fire.

If our schedules have been cleared, that means today wasn’t some spur-of-the-moment decision.

This was orchestrated. Premeditated.

Save the birthday cake she surprised me with last month, I have very little in my life to offer me a frame of reference for this experience.

You answered every ridiculous question I asked like I wasn’t completely out of my mind. For hours. I still remember, Aaron.

She said it had to be a surprise. I said, You’re going to go back to your room tonight smelling like paint, and he’s going to know! The man is not an idiot!

And she was like blah blah blah he’s not going to know, blah blah blah, I’m the queen of the world, blah blah—” “KENJI.” “What?”

Kenji and Nazeera laugh at that, Kenji drawing an arm around Nazeera’s waist as they walk, pulling her closer. She leans into him, planting a brief kiss at the base of his jaw.

AWWWW

“We’ve been walking for so long I’m beginning to wonder whether I’ll need international clearance.”

“Wouldn’t even let me rest for thirty-seconds. But this—yeah, this is too much for him. Makes sense.”

I come to a sudden and complete stop, heart pounding as the crowd surges around us, several of them calling out congratulations as they pass.

Someone sticks a homemade tiara on Ella’s head at one point, which she accepts with a gracious nod before discreetly tugging it out of her hair.

They seem to know better than ...

“It’s okay if you don’t. You don’t have to love it. If you hate it I can always get you something else—” “You know, I’m not used to seeing you nervous like this.” She tilts her head at me. “It’s kind of adorable.”

The fit, as I knew it would be, is perfect. I took the necessary measurements while she was heavily asleep, still recovering in the medical tent.

I know you probably didn’t think about this when you had them made—because you wouldn’t—but the emeralds remind me of your eyes. They’re stunning.”

“I’m so glad you like the rings, love,” I whisper against her mouth. “But I’m going to need to take back the band.”

“I promise, after I give this ring to you today, I’ll never ask for it back.”

“I’m going to marry you today. And then I’m going to make love to you until you can’t remember your name.”

HOLY SMOKES AARON THERE ARE KIDS OUT HERE

“I really don’t think you understand what you do to me, love,”

“One day we’ll have a proper bed,” I say, kissing her forehead. “And then I doubt I will ever sleep again.”

“I still have something to show you!” she cries, and breaks off into a run. I have no choice but to chase after her.

A playground. Rusted and abandoned, a set of swings screeching as the wind pushes around their empty seats.

wander closer to the rusting structure, surprised to feel a distinct lack of resistance when I step onto the haunted play area.

Running has always been harder for Ella than it is for me. Still, I resist her effort to drag me along.

She is, and always has been, a better person than I will ever be.

In the center is a home. Not a house—not a building—but a home, salvaged from the wreckage.

The sight gives me déjà vu; I’m reminded at once of another house of a different vintage, in a different place. Robin’s-egg blue.

Ella has always been deeply concerned with the well-being of the asylum inmates.

“There’s no one in the whole world like you,” she says, and I can practically feel her heart beating between us. “I’m so grateful for you.”

“I am nothing,” I say to her. “If I manage to be anything, it is only because of you.”

That Juliette Ferrars is incapable of seeing herself as an exception is part of what makes her extraordinary.

“Where do you want these chairs?” I hear someone shout, the proceeding answer too quiet to be intelligible. Emotional tremors continue to wreck me. They are setting up for our wedding, I realize.

In our house.

You never complain about sleeping on the floor of our hospital room, which you’ve done every single night for the last fourteen nights. But I know you. I know it must be killing you.”

“You need quiet,” she says. “You need space, and privacy. I want you to know that I know that—that I see you.

But I want to take care of you, too. I want to give you peace. I want to give you a home. With me.”

“You and I— Aaron, people like us think good things will disappear because that’s how it’s always been.

Happiness will stop feeling strange if we see it every day.”

When she’s here, right here, it’s so much easier to breathe. She’s real when she’s in my arms.

I stare at Kenji, then Ella, dumbfounded. She already looks perfect. “Get ready how?” “I have to put on my dress,” she says, and laughs. “And makeup,” Kenji shouts from across the street.

Ella kisses me on the cheek, cutting me off. “Okay, there might be a few more surprises left in the day.” “I’m not sure my heart can handle any more surprises, love.”

“This one’s mine.” That wipes the smile off my face. “That’s right, buddy.” Kenji is grinning now. “We’re going to be neighbors.”