All We Left Unsaid

by Natalie K. Martin

‘I always thought we’d sort things out before something serious happened,’

There was just one year between us in age, but we were miles apart in personality. Ivy was the definition of attitude and intensity. She was the mouthy one, who’d talk back and take what she wanted and scream with the unfairness of everything, especially when we were in our early teens. I was the quiet one who took what was given and got on with life, unfair or not.

‘You’re not used to attention,’ he continues. ‘And you’re not sure if you like it, or want to hide from it.’ His words land right in the centre of my chest and my grin falters a little. ‘You’re shy. A little reserved. Someone who prefers to be behind the scenes instead of out there in the thick of it.’

There are times when Ivy can be a pain in the backside, but there are also times when she’s the sweetest sister someone could wish for. This is one of them.

‘Why do I have the feeling that meeting up with you would be all kinds of good?’

I play with Finn’s hair with one of my hands and a rush of that I can’t believe how lucky I am feeling bursts in my chest. It’s only been a month. I tell myself it’s much too early to be thinking about it being love, but the feelings I have convince me otherwise.

There was no doubt it was hard on Jess, too. She never asked for help or liked to admit that she might not be coping. Ivy knew it was a trauma response to dive into distractions.

‘Because I don’t want to be the one who always has to sort things out. I’m sick and tired of having to do everything. It was always me who had to sort things out around the house,

Besides, they had their whole lives ahead of them. The time would come when they’d sort something out.

:(

I’ve always been a beach person. My idea of a perfect holiday always, always involves a beach, preferably with a good book to go with it.

‘I know this is hard. I’ve just lost my brother and we’d had our fair share of problems, so I can relate. You can’t change the history you and Ivy had, but you can stop letting it affect your future. She did.’

guess there’s only so long you can keep punishing yourself for, right?’

‘One of my teachers told me something once that really shifted the way I think about things. He said that nobody ever does anything because of you. You can trigger a reaction – anger, jealousy, whatever it might be. But the way they act on that emotion is always down to them and never down to you.’

If only I’d have known, it could’ve all been so different.

I’d seen a quote on Instagram, saying it will hurt until you let it hurt.