Aurora's Angel

by Emily Noon

I didn’t think you’d eat raw meat straight from a carcass.”

Dont piss ME OFF why wouldn't she do that???? literally all we've been told is that she is a crazy feral monster

By the way, your tiger is much bigger than I expected and your mixed form is humongous. I’m seriously impressed. No wonder the wolf-shifters were quivering in their boots and treated you so carefully. You could have them for lunch!”

Dick sucking part 100000000000000000000 like this book would be five pages long if we took out all the dialogue telling us Aurora is super cool and strong and hot and powerful

“Are you upset?” “No.

I am

“I didn’t say I am terrible, I said I don’t know how to dance. I’m a fast learner so if you’re as good as you say I’m sure I’ll get it quickly.”

of COURSE cus she's good at everything, gave us one nanosecond of a minor flaw/insecurity before reminding us that she's actually the best at this too

zipper of her jeans.

THERE ARE ZIPPERS

“Hmm…I remember you did this thing where you sucked and bit down grazing me with your teeth. I enjoyed that.”

But why didn't we see it when it happened???????? Like actually why is everything described AFTER THE FACT IM PISSED OFF!!!!!!

If a stranger gets too close to either of us while I’m like this I might lash out. It’s dangerous for me to get like this because I could accidently hurt or kill someone.”

"I'm so horny I might kill a man" is kind of the only valid thing she's said

“Well, am I? If I slide my hand inside your panties right now will you be wet for me?”

INSANE dialogue also ENOUGH WITH THE DAMN PANTIES

greeted her by name.

Everyone knows her, everyone loves her, but ALL the people offering fortunes to kill her have no clue where she is like she is being hunted by the world's most incompetent sociopaths

I forgot about that.”

Girl

“Is she pretty?”

I will kill you

men and woman

in her opinion their trust in each other had allowed them to use their differences to their advantage instead of it being a hindrance.

Literally how though like you haven't done anything well together, you literally couldn't even make decent cracker sandwhiches

My mother doesn’t let just anyone try those so you must have made a mighty good impression.”

EVERYONE KNOWS HER EVERYOND LOVES HER

tinted moisturizer.”

The idea of tinted moisturizer in a fantasy world is so funny to me

“You must be Au-ro-ra, the Old Blood tigress. I heard about you but never thought I’d—”

Shut UPPPPPPPPP i'm about to throw my kindle out the window!!!!!!

solid looking walls.

When you pull up to your girlfriend's mansion and you compliment her solid looking walls

“I’ve kept my thoughts to myself

No u haven't. like at all

She’d shared her most private hopes and dreams with her and just as she got ready to start her new life Evie poured doubt over everything leaving her feeling distressed and battling waves of hopelessness.

The last thing i want to do is defend Evie but your plan is actual hot garbage

“You got shot?” “Yeah.” Selene inhaled sharply. “When?” “A few months ago.” “Where?” Aurora tapped her chest. “The bullet just missed my heart and clipped a lung. I thought I was going to suffocate in my own blood. I’ve had close calls before but as I lay there I honestly thought that was it. That the hunters had finally got me.”

Deadass y does everything interesting happen off-screen. This is a book talking about other more interesting things that we didn't get to see. I think I might have blocked this out but I don't remember her getting shot at all

“It was a four-man team. Once I was well enough I tracked them down and we played a little game of cat and mouse. I won.”

Of course cus there are literally no stakes or consequences, would be lovely to get a description beyond "I won"

Since arriving home she’d had to deal with endless questions and people trying to monopolize her time.

We just skipped her whole homecoming???? Like the only overarching plot if the whole book??? I guess she like literally never talked or thought about them tho lmao

Raven

Not the corvid slander

“Our mystery human and House Ravir are business partners? The plot thickens.”

I feel like this conspiracy should have been introduced at the beginning of the book

Valen was so distressed about that. He longed for his daughter to run with him in beast form and he hoped it would be just a matter of time until she managed it.

Valen needs to get his priorities straight honestly

“So good was my binding that when those men took turns to rape my little girl, she could not break free. When they broke her bones and burned her, she was helpless to defend herself. They tortured her and she could do nothing but suffer and bleed because of me. Valen died trying to save our daughter because I withheld from her the power that was hers by birth out of fear of what she might become.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhm

she was such a beautiful child.

Hey so INSANE take

I think next to her father’s death, being violated like that was what damaged her the most.”

Genius level deduction

“What are you talking about?” Lady Adelind demanded. Shock and disbelief warred on her face. “Who dares to hunt my daughter?”

Isn't she famous???? And also thetr have been huge bounties on her for years????? like everyone else we've talked to knows she's being hunted?????????????????

I knew Aurora had the occasional pursuer but I assumed it was because of her hunt for her father’s killers.”

Everyone in this book is an idiot

“I know why we are here. Remember, you owe us. Oriana’s hand in marriage to my brother, an alliance between our Houses and a half share in the profits from the mira products.”

Let me awkwardly reveal our evil scheme very loudly so the audience can hear us

so she couldn’t keep looking for someone who wasn’t coming.

Why would SHE come to YOU???

Evie tried to describe you to me. I thought she was exaggerating but wow…I totally get it now.

Oh my lord SHUT UUUUUUUP

“When I went into her room there were little things out of place but it wasn’t until I saw her bowl of fruit was untouched that I knew something was seriously wrong. Evie devours fruit like other people breathe air. She can’t get enough. If she didn’t touch her fruit that must mean she wasn’t there to eat it.

Hey so this is actually insane

Very few people do because he’s an obnoxious pain in the butt

the refusal to throw around an "ass" or two when we've just gotten a scene describing a child being SA'd is WILD

“No, not the face! Oh god, not the face!”

This is comical but not in a good way

Aurora lifted Marcus’ left hand to her mouth and bit off all but the thumb with a sharp snap. She spat the bloody fingers into his face.

I think Aurora is insane actually

Her claws cleaved through bone and flesh as easily as a hot knife through butter and wings fluttered to the ground.

Everyone just watching this random ass girl they've never met dismember this guy that is part of the noble house because she just said he was guilty. Also isn't everyone supposed to be terrified of chimeras????? I know that we as readers know that this guy is guilty but none of them have that confirmation AND THEY DON'T KNOW AND HAVE LITTLE TO NO REASON TO TRUST AURORA? like this individual may not even be the one Evie said rescued her because THEY NEVER MET HER and now she's brutally mauling one of the main members of their house that they were all chill with before this moment and they're just like "word"???????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Right now she is worm food or better yet, getting sliced up and bottled. One day some wealthy prick is going to rub his dick with ‘Cream of Evie’ to get a hard-on. Fat rendered from a female avian is supposed to cure impotence, did you know that?”

The change in tone is INSANE!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck!!!!!!!

The way you two went at it no wonder the girl left feathers behind.”

Gross

Whoever dumped her here probably thought it was overkill to lock the door of the cage when the captive was unconscious and wrapped up tighter than a turkey about to be stuffed in the oven.

Infuriatingly stupid plot armor

Raven

Wild that this person we've barely heard anything about until the last fourth of the book is the big bad???

he’s so not my type.”

once again the dialogue is insane

you know I can’t talk about House business.”

you are literally about to kill her???????

Raven nodded and said,

This whole conversation is insane

She recognized him now from a brief meeting when her cousin Innes had shyly introduced the new man in her life to the flock.

Another character introduced out of the blue that we should have known about earlier

“I told you I can climb really well.

Of course she can

“No, your dad did that. I just ripped off his wings and bit off a few fingers to make him talk.” Evie’s eyebrows flew up and she said, “Sounds like you and my father had a very interesting bonding session.”

That's actually a crazy reaction

“How can this be nothing? Someone tore your clothing and hurt you.” She pressed her face against Evie’s chest and inhaled deeply.

Imagine if this is how the police investigated sexual assaults

As if that wasn’t enough just as I’m finally ready to put it all behind me he comes back and puts his stink on my beautiful winged angel. He hurt my sweet Evie.”

"my beautiful winged angel" Eeeeeeeeeew gross yucky no thanks