From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life

by Arthur C. Brooks

You can accept that what got you to this point won’t work to get you into the future—that you need to build some new strengths and skills.

Cattell himself described the two intelligences in this way: “[Fluid intelligence] is conceptualized as the decontextualized ability to solve abstract problems, while crystallized intelligence represents a person’s knowledge gained during life by acculturation and learning.”[6] Translation: When you are young, you have raw smarts; when you are old, you have wisdom. When you are young, you can generate lots of facts; when you are old, you know what they mean and how to use them.

Cicero believed three things about older age. First, that it should be dedicated to service, not goofing off. Second, our greatest gift later in life is wisdom, in which learning and thought create a worldview that can enrich others. Third, our natural ability at this point is counsel: mentoring, advising, and teaching others, in a way that does not amass worldly rewards of money, power, or prestige.

objectification—marrying

self-objectification,

people who choose being special over happy are addicts.

success addict

“Unhappy is he who depends on success to be happy,”

Self-objectification lowers self-worth and life satisfaction.

Success addicts frequently have a lot of fear, too—fear of failure.

Success is fundamentally positional, meaning it enhances our position in social hierarchies. Social scientists for decades have shown that positional goods do not bring happiness.

Social comparison, fear of failure, and perfectionism

workaholism, pride, fear of failure, perfectionism, or social comparison—the

do all the stuff in your bucket to get a full and happy life.

shed my attachments and redefine my desires.

Satisfaction = Getting what you want

Dopamine—the neurotransmitter of pleasure behind nearly all addictive behaviors—is excreted in response to thoughts about buying new things, winning money, acquiring more power or notoriety, or, for that matter, having new sex partners.[14]

three formulas that explain both our impulses and the reason we can’t ever seem to achieve lasting satisfaction. Satisfaction = Continually getting what you want Success = Continually having more than others Failure = Having less

Satisfaction = What you have ÷ what you want

I imagine myself in five years. I am happy and at peace. I am enjoying my life for the most part; I’m satisfied and living a life of purpose and meaning. I imagine myself saying to my wife, “You know, I have to say that I am truly happy at this point in my life.” I then think of the forces in this future life that are most responsible for this happiness: my faith; my family; my friendships; the work I am doing that is inherently satisfying, meaningful, and that serves others.

I consider how these things compete with the forces of my happiness for time, attention, and resources.

“This is not evil, but it will not bring me the happiness and peace I seek, and I simply don’t have time to make it my goal. I choose to detach myself from this desire.”

I commit to pursuing these things with my time, affection, and energy.

Satisfaction comes not from chasing bigger and bigger things, but paying attention to smaller and smaller things.