He Who Fights with Monsters 3 (He Who Fights with Monsters, #3)

by Shirtaloon

“You need to watch your decorum around royalty.” “Do I?” Jason asked. “I was more thinking that I need to get powerful enough that they watch their decorum around me.”

They call you the Rejector.” “That’s not a cool nickname,” Jason said. “They could have picked something more awesome, like the ‘Defiant,’ or ‘Captain Tremendous.’” “You actually want people to call you Captain Tremendous?” Sophie asked. “Doesn’t everyone want that?”

“You realise who is at the top of my list if I really am evil, right?” Jason asked. “The guy who bought out the cheesemonger on Maple Street and replaced it with a building supply store?” Neil suggested. “Oh yeah. I hate that guy.”

“Are you suggesting people are only interested in my looks?” Sophie asked. “Of course I’m saying that,” Belinda said. “You’re like a treasure chest full of swords with no handles. It looks enticing, but rummaging about inside is going to get you hurt.” “Thank you,” Sophie said brightly. “That was not a compliment!” “How is that not a compliment?” Sophie asked. “Who doesn’t want to be full of swords?”

When I take a bribe, I stay bribed. That’s how integrity works.” “That’s not how integrity works!”

“As far as you can tell, we’re all going to die, but you know so little that you might be wrong.” “Pretty much,” Clive said. “I think I have some cake left,” Jason said, opening his inventory. “If I’m going to be obliterated into astral nothingness again, I’m doing it with cake.”

“You’re saying that your thing is efficient and practical magic that’s incredibly useful to adventurers, and mine is dashing good looks and frivolous charm?” “That wasn’t what I—” “I’m completely okay with that,”

“Was I even necessary for this?” Jason asked. “Of course you were,” Sophie said. “You’re the only one who could annoy this many things enough to chase us this hard.”

“I am proud to trace my lineage all the way back to Jeff, Lord of the Hunt,” Brian said.

“We’re here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and we never actually found out what bubblegum was.”