He Who Fights with Monsters 3 (He Who Fights with Monsters, #3)

by Shirtaloon

“I don’t know if you can hear me through your dead, magic rectal probe,” Jason growled, “but you need to listen up, you interdimensional soul bandit. You just got beat by the assistant manager of an office supply retailer while he was hanging from a hook and naked as the day he was born. And reborn, for that matter. So you’d best pack up your piss-weak little cult and take them back to your magic land in the sky because I’m coming for them. And this time, I’m going to have pants.”

A blade can cut down a person, but words can bring down a kingdom. Adultery can end a dynasty, greed can start a war, and compassion can end one. People will die for strangers out of faith and kill their neighbours out of fear.”

Humphrey came down on the construct like the United States military on an oil-rich nation.

“They’re just people,” Jason said. “Treat them that way. Yes, they’re a little odd to our sensibilities, but if it can think, it’s a person.

“You want someone to get up, then you get up,” Neil said to Humphrey. “Alright, I will,” Humphrey said, then didn’t so much as twitch. “Am I up?” “No,” Belinda said. “Well, I tried,” Humphrey said. “At least I’ll be able to say I died valiantly.”

I’m just saying I don’t want to run into the Rejector before that happens.” She felt a surge of magic and looked up just in time to see her fellow cultist vanish. In his place was a man in dark robes. “G’day,” the man said with a grin. He plucked the notebook from the startled cultist’s hands. “I might be able to resist the Builder, but I couldn’t resist an entry line like that.”

“You don’t get it,” Neil said. “We’re here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and we never actually found out what bubblegum was.”