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“Because if there’s one thing they know about revenge, Damon, it’s that it won’t feel nearly as good as her love will.”
“She’ll make you stronger,” she said. “And we need you strong.”
When I let myself fucking love her. When I let my guard down and believed what was happening between us was stronger than anything and guys like me could have a completely different life.
“And in the meantime, be an adult. Get to work on something and show her you can survive without her. Without her respect, you have no chance.”
“No chance at not becoming your fucking parents,” she replied.
I broke last night because I didn’t want this. I just wanted that kid back who sat in my lap and drove my car. I made her happy. Me.
And instead of sticking to the plan and making her hate that she wanted me, I hated that I still wanted her.
It was real, and I wanted it again. I fucking loved her.
CHAPTER 24
“Mr. Torrance is having the ‘stupid, gaudy, fucking fountain’ removed,” he said.
Should I forget everything he did? Was it all suddenly okay just because his feelings had been real?
The way I always saw Damon Torrance’s raven eyes in my head, even before I knew my ghost was Damon Torrance.
“You shut up,” Dad says. “She and Arion are not to come here again. You’ll be lucky if I don’t sue you for custody.”
“You don’t speak to him, and you are never allowed back at this house,” he growls. “If Mom brings you, you tell me. Do you understand?”
That accident wasn’t his fault. I knew now that my father wasn’t upset with me or Damon that day. He’d discovered my mother and Mr. Torrance together and lost his temper.
He didn’t mean to push me over. I knew that now.
Tears pooled as I realized. He hadn’t taken away the fountain. He’d replaced
I loved him. I still loved him.
“No, man. She’s Damon’s.”
He had his work cut out for him if he wanted a future in this town. That was, if he cared about what anyone thought, anyway.
“Having Damon around was the only time I ever felt solid in my life,” he told me. “He’s powerful. But painful.”
His hand reached around my neck, cupping my face and turning my head, as I closed my eyes and felt him come down, pressing his forehead to mine. Damon.
“This is how you knew me then.”
He kissed me, melting his mouth into mine and tipping my head, cradling it in his arm so he could deepen the kiss and sink his tongue into my mouth.
He was still the boy, promising to kiss me again someday, and I was still her, never wanting to leave whatever little private world we created when we were together.
I told him I loved him. But he hadn’t said it back. It was okay. I didn’t need to hear it yet. He seemed to need to hear it himself, though. Like in the tree house when we were kids. Desperate to keep me safe and by his side.
“What’s your tattoo?”
“A decaying snowflake.”
“Because of ‘Winter’ by Walter de la Mare,” he replied softly. “Something still beautiful, even after what I did to her.” Her. Me. The snowflake represented winter.
I pictured it, what he was seeing, and I wondered if he felt guilty about what happened to me and all the things I could no longer see.
“I do love you,” I told him again before I drifted off. Just so he knew.
“He knew what he was doing,” Ethan continued. “How could you fall for it? Why would you let him touch you? Did you not know it was him again?”
He hadn’t said he loved me. He got me to say it. Twice. Why hadn’t he said it back?
CHAPTER 25
I pinched the bridge of my nose. When women thought, shit didn’t go the way I wanted it to.
Especially for making sure he had control over all in his domain.
I was suddenly glad she wasn’t here. Michael and Rika were no match for Gabriel, but she was safer with them than with anyone else if I wasn’t there.
And then a pain hit my side under my ribs, digging into my flesh as some kind of small blade pierced my skin.
The guy who had Winter in his car when she was sixteen. The guy who also attacked Rika the same Devil’s Night I did. Fuck. He worked for my father now?
“She’s been fun to mess with these past couple of weeks,” he said. “As we waited for Gabriel to give us the go-ahead anyway.”
Ironically, that wasn’t the first time I’d been stabbed on that same side. This felt deeper, though.
Keep her safe. Don’t leave her alone.
I was going to burn this place to the ground with him in it. If he was lucky.
I wasn’t sure if I fell asleep or how long I was asleep, but I opened my eyes with a start, the room pitch black and a body on top of me.
“Winter?” I blurted out. “What the fuck?”
She was saving me?
Where was Will? Why were the girls the ones doing this?
I could understand Kai not wanting to leave Banks alone with my father, but where the hell were Michael and Will?
I didn’t have time to see who was driving, but I crashed down, falling into Winter as she slumped back, too, wrapping her arms around me.
Winter’s chest rose and fell behind me, but she held me tightly, like she wouldn’t let anything hurt me.
