More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
“Just keep it,” she said. “I like thinking you might come back someday.”
I dropped my eyes, gripping the steering wheel and staring at the key like it was a goddamn drug. I wanted it. I knew I would use it.
But then I blinked, shook my head, and immediately swerved off to the side of the road and skidded to a fucking halt.
I’d rolled through the past two years, watching her from a distance, knowing that she would be my heroin and knowing that my obsession was a no-win situation when I got to her again.
But I wanted to keep her fourteen forever, too. Young and beautiful and innocent and the one place in my life that wasn’t dirty.
I kissed her, cutting off her cry, her protest fading away when she realized it was me.
“I don’t know, baby,” I told her. “Just don’t let me go, okay?”
We deserved one night. A few minutes or a few hours, just a little longer. I knew this was bad. I knew I was fucked.
“I want it to be you,” she continued, “even if you’re going to disappear on me again, I want it to be you.”
I wanted her first time.
“Take a picture of me doing this,” she whispered. “If you disappear, I want you to remember me.”
“A video, okay?” I breathed out. “I want to have everything.”
But I didn’t want to love her, either. I didn’t want it to feel like this. It couldn’t feel like this.
I gripped her jaw, planting kisses on her mouth. “I’m gonna fuck your daddy’s little girl,” I taunted, trying to work myself up.
“Doing what good girls are supposed to do for men. He’s gonna have a fuckin’ fit when he sees what I did to you. What I did to his little baby.”
I wasn’t in love with her. This wasn’t love.
“Pl-please,” she stuttered, upset. “Please don’t talk like that anymore.”
It could mean more. Just with her.
“The less special I make this, the less you’ll be hurt,” I offered.
“I’m not dirty,” she rushed, remembering what I said earlier in the car and knowing what I was trying to say. “You’re not making me dirty. There is no you. There’s no me. This is us. Just us.”
A mixture of pleasure and anger coursed through me, knowing it was done, and I’d ruined her now, but everything felt so goddamn good that I knew I’d do this all over again if I had a chance to go back.
The wave spread through my entire body, and I stayed there, pretty fucking sure nothing compared to her. She was incredible. Why did that feel so different?
What the fuck? I came on her?
I tried not to look at her, but I couldn’t stop myself. She was wet and naked and beautiful, and the only pure thing I’d ever had. And, of course, I messed her all up.
“This feels like the time I sat in a fountain once,” she told me. “The water spilled around us, shielding us. Hiding us. It was like a world within a world. One of my worst memories but also one of my best.”
If only she knew the boy she was with in the fountain was the boy who’d just fucked her.
When you find out who just fucked you, you’re gonna see plenty of red then.
CHAPTER 18
I stopped breathing for a moment, remembering those words. Remembering that he was him. My ghost. The one I kissed and made love to.
He would deserve it. After what he did to me . . .
They had no reason to lie. Was I in more danger than I thought? Was someone else after me? Enemies my father made or something?
He liked being cut? Or he liked the fear?
But maybe there was something in it for him, too. He enjoyed toying with death. Fear made us feel alive.
I gripped his shoulders, feeling the ridge of his hard cock nudge me between my legs as heat pooled in my groin. My heart pounded. I wanted to run away.
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
The way he said “your mask” sounded like Damon had one, too. All the Horsemen did, I’d heard.
Really, how was he Damon’s best friend back in the day? He was so different. Did he like abuse or something?
I knew it even before I slipped my fingers into the back of his hair and felt the same little scars I’d come across years ago.
Tears stung the back of my throat, feeling the heat of his cum seeping out of me. I needed a bathroom.
“My father wants his grandchildren, Winter.”
I hated him. I hated who I turned into with him.
Red. Anger and fury and heat and need so strong you’re a fucking animal, Winter. It’s primal.
“Not as much as I hurt myself,” I told her.
CHAPTER 19
Will was doing a piss-poor job watching out for her. Grabbing her was way too easy.
The crime was I couldn’t tell her who I was. And the crime was she didn’t love me back.
Her heart was so shallow, she couldn’t understand and know that I was real. Every moment with her, I was real. I would’ve been faithful, and I would’ve died protecting her.
I laughed under my breath. “Ask Erika,” I taunted him. “Or is she keeping things from you?”
I loved that his girl kept me a secret from him.
Yeah, I was definitely pissed when I heard about the three of them. It was just another time the two of them made all the decisions and had all the fun. Will and I simply tagged along when we were permitted.
